I'm terrified

[Against_the_current]

I'm terrified of going back to university city Tommorrow. Thinking whether i should have stayed home with mom and sis or go back to university city. Sis stressed me out yesterday. I'm just in stress from the new thing but there im more stable and the job would give me confidence right?

Im going so i better think that's best

My teen sister stressed me yesterday. I'm scared she's traumatized (litterary i lose my mind thinking of it) or it's just a teen.. .And i lose my mind thinking what if she grows up until i come back. My therapist says i'm a bad influence to her. I'm so anxious all the time, i influence them bad. My head hurts from anxiety. Grandpa just called me and said I should work. It's the best i can can do right? Home i don't stop stressing, my head hurts like hell all the itme. And i might ruin my relationships with family panicing all the time. I'm just insecure and scared but here i can't stop stressing. Also my therapist is there. Ah sorry for this, i just need courage

[Starrlight]

Best to you

[Against_the_current]

Thanks. It's so hard, anxiety and doubts are insane

[Starrlight]

Hi. Have you decided what to do? How are you doing now?

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

I'm leaving Tommorrow. I'm anxious as hell, i feel like i'm going to start crying but i can't cry - this much of deabilitating anxiety. I hope once i'm there i calm. I feel so sentimental to my city and home, doubting my desision. But at home my anxiety is deabilitating high. And also it can harm mom and sis. Also i already told everyone im going. Maybe there im calmer and have acess to my therapist and maybe the work will help me distract. I'm anxious about traveling and also a concert there sis wanted to go but i can't find the tikets and even If i did, she and dad would have to stay at my accomodation with my roommates, interview, appointments. It's a chaos

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

Wow that’s a lot going on. You sound strong to me though, and your strength will not let you down.

[Against_the_current in reply to Starrlight]

Thanks. I just wish i didn't need so much strenght

[Starrlight in reply to Against_the_current]

I hear you. Same here. Really struggling.

[Against_the_current]

Thank you. Yeah, i really feel like a boxer. I feel like i'm preparing for a match i'm scared for, after i took some hits, and doubting my health, durability, abalities, courage. Probably once the match starts, i'm gonna calm

[Against_the_current]

Need encouragement for sure

[Against_the_current]

I'm stressing about something just before my interview, nice story. Mine taught me strategy videogames. He said "stay safe in the castle and just use the archers" and "ruin your own kingdom yourself so enemy has nothing to do" and i feel like these advice pretty much contributed to my self-destructive nature 😅. Talking of which the thing im stressed about just before my interview is that i met someone here who acts Very caring and cute but they're involved in some online trading and don't stop asking me for money which i don't want to give, it can be a scam, and they don't stop asking

[Against_the_current]

Not you, someone else

[Against_the_current in reply to Against_the_current]

They're stressing me out

[Against_the_current]

It's some person. Agh my head hurts. I'm tired of it alllllllllll

[Against_the_current in reply to Against_the_current]

I wrote it in a separate post so no confuses

[Against_the_current]

Thanks