Lost in the waves of depression🌊🌊🌊

[mannequinbfast]

I just feel like my level of cognitive functioning is so low because of my mental illness/mental instability right now. I was walking around the grocery store today and the cashier commented on how “lost” I looked. I proceeded to go cry in my car. Does anyone ever feel like that?

[Adamj]

I can relate to how you’re feeling a lot of mine right now seems to be a mixture of anxiety and depression I’ve had some crazy things going on I feel so lost

[mannequinbfast in reply to Adamj]

me too. the depression I’m in is so intense that it’s turned me into this zombie. I walk around legit dazed and confused it’s so scary and other people notice it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

[Adamj in reply to mannequinbfast]

Have you a therapist you could talk to? I don’t know what’s wrong with me either and it’s scary. My stuff went away for a good 4 years and bam leave my job stress and my life falls apart and I can’t pull myself out

[mannequinbfast in reply to Adamj]

Yeah I have a therapist. A big life event triggered mental health stuff for me too. Nothing that I did before to cope is helping right now. Do you feel that way too?

[Adamj in reply to mannequinbfast]

Yes I feel the same way I also got told that I have Chiari malformation which I still have to go talk to a neurosurgeon about they kinda found it on accident which is freaking me out I can’t stop thinking about it I research it and I’m not supposed to

[mannequinbfast in reply to Adamj]

I’m sorry to hear that, health news can be so alarming and debilitating. That’s really stressful

[Adamj in reply to mannequinbfast]

Yes it is but I guess with everything in life you gotta just keep pushing even when you feel like your dying or whatever. The meds also seem to make me worse they try me on for antidepressants and such my last try was buspar that was no fun and was on it a month just off it a week and still feel like it has lasting effects on me

[mannequinbfast in reply to Adamj]

OMG, I got prescribed buspar 2 years ago I think that was the worst experience I ever had with a med. multiple panic attacks daily. went off it after a week but it lasted many weeks after that. I’m so sorry you’re going through that right now. that was so rough, not sure how it is for you but the physical, bodily anxiety was so intense for me, unlike any other anxiety i ever felt. i used cbd oils and kava teas and ramped up my yoga and meditation practice if you’re into that stuff which helped as much as it could - anything you can do to calm your body down. hope that helps. meds are so rough. that was my last ditch effort to try to go on meds after years of trying to find something that worked and since that experience was so bad i couldn’t do it anymore. meds never worked for me which is so hard when you suffer from severe mental illness but you’re pretty much resistant to medication

[Adamj in reply to mannequinbfast]

Yes it definitely increased my physical sensations of anxiety I keep feeling like I can feel the muscles in my arms tensing up and keep feeling like I’m out of it it’s crazy. I can’t change that I was on it now but I really feel like it was a mistake it changed something and don’t like it

[Adamj in reply to mannequinbfast]

What do you do now to help yourself?

[mannequinbfast in reply to Adamj]

I write, and I go to therapy, and I try to do yoga and take walks when I don’t feel like physical shit which isn’t very often. Have also been going broke buying cbd products for anxiety. Plus a ton of other unhealthy coping mechanisms. Hbu?

[Hidden]

Yea I feel that way sometime too. When it gets too much, get in my car, hit the dashboard and cry for hours but then it feels good after. ✌️

[mannequinbfast in reply to Hidden]

dude I look don’t get relief anymore lol. everything is stuck inside me. even crying doesn’t let it out. it’s a scary feeling to like have no way of letting the inner turmoil get released and it leads me to believe that i have to turn to the unhealthy mechanisms i used years ago. i know that probably doesn’t even make sense

[Hidden in reply to mannequinbfast]

It’s the classic vicious cycle of inner turmoil. It doesn’t have to have a reason sometime it just is. I hear you.