Divorced emotional abuser

Hi all,

I recently just left my husband. I've had multiple therapists tell me I needed to leave him over the years because he is emotionally abusive. When I was with him my world felt dark. Now that I left my world feels even more dark. I keep questioning myself and wanting to go back to him. He said I manipulated my therapists into thinking he abuses me. I am so confused.

[Tori2point0]

Hi 👋🏼 I think there is a quick way to tell whether that is true or not…. Do you feel like you were honest with your therapist because if so, he is clearly the problem. Hang in there. It does get easier.

[LadyZen]

Chances are, multiple therapists are right about the asshole. They were right about my ex-husband. I was married to him for 17 years and had 2 kids. I've been divorced now for 5 years and separated for 7. It was really hard for many months and probably the first couple of years. But with the support of my therapist and medication, I got through it. Just be sure to keep seeing the therapist and if you need medication for the short-term, don't be afraid to ask for that from your doctor.

[Midori in reply to LadyZen]

It will seem odd at first, but don't go back to an abuser. There are places which will help. They Helped me when I escaped my violent husband,

Try Women's Aid for starters.

Cheers, Midori

[Agora1]

You've just gotten some great advice from those who have personally experiencedwhat you are going through.

Change is never easy at the beginning.. Once we adapt and find our worth in ourselves

you will find it easier. Medication and therapy can be a helpful tool in getting through

this change.

There are many people who get use to being mistreated and stay in an abusive relationship

for the fear of change. In a sick way, even being abused is something they expect and when

it stops because you've left, you are at a loss. You need to rethink your thoughts regarding

who you are and what you deserve in life. Love yourself because if you don't no one else

will. Continue coming on this safe, caring site for the support and understanding you so

need right now. And remember dear "Iamgoingtobeok" Perfect username xx

[Southernmama2022]

The goal of abusers is to make the other person feel at fault for everything which is what this sounds. Often leaving an abuser feels darker and lonely because you lived under those conditions fit so long. That became reality even if it wasn’t a good reality. Good for you in having therapists. Hopefully those have been helpful. Do you have a support system to turn to when you feel dark? Have you considered joining groups based on your interests? Don’t let your abuser define you. You are much stronger than he says if for no other reason than you left. Keep fighting for yourself! Here is an article that might be helpful… crosswalk.com/faith/prayer/...

Prayers for healing.