Emotional hangover, stupid fight

[maggief9812]

I’m in the middle of studying for finals week and my husband picked a fight with me over emptying the dehumidifier in the basement. I have pretty severe carpal tunnel syndrome in my left hand/wrist and am physically unable to get the water reservoir open when it’s full. He proceeded to open it with one hand and insinuate I was lying about it because it was so easy for him. He’s a foot taller than me and my hands are about 3/4 the size of his. He apologized shortly after and I told him I was still pretty offended. That I felt like he was calling me a liar, lazy, and that I don’t care about the house. Cue round 2 of the fight as he dug his heels in and accused me of ignoring problems around the house to leave them for him to find. I walked out of the room because I was hurt, and frankly, livid that he saw me that way. After a little while he came in and apologized again, hugged me, and I cried all over his shirt. I HATE being mad at him, and I accepted his apology because I know he meant it, but I’m still sad and kinda pissed.

He’s a Masters student and he just finished his finals about a week ago. He KNOWS how stressful finals week is. This is my last day to get good studying in before I begin the gauntlet. I’m annoyed that he isn’t treating me the way I would treat him if roles were reversed. I would WAIT to address minor concerns like this until after the end of the week so I wasn’t adding to his stress. I don’t want to pick another fight with him, but I feel like he doesn’t consider the way it’s going to be received when he talks to me. It feels like it’s always about HIM, and how it affects HIS life. Never mind that my degree is going to improve our financial situation while his is adding debt with no clear goal- except that he feels like having a masters will cure his imposter syndrome.

I should be studying, but I can’t focus because I’m just mad.

[Agora1]

Maggie, remember we can't control what others say or do to us but we

can control how we accept it. Ask yourself this question. Is being mad

going to help the situation? The answer is "no". Breathe and let go and

refocus on your studies. The reward is so much more important than what

is going on right now. I have carpal tunnel as well and taking out the water

reservoir of the dehumidifier is a bear for me to tackle. I understand.

Good Luck on your finals. That's the goal in sight right now. This is the moment

to concentrate on. xx

[maggief9812 in reply to Agora1]

Agora- thank you. You’re right, and that was just what I needed to read right now. Sometimes that man just gets my Irish up.

[Agora1 in reply to maggief9812]

You made me smile Maggie. You've got this. I'm right behind

you in support. xx

[maggief9812]

Ok. I’m going to try to get back to work!

[APOR2017]

Maggie, I can understand why you are hurt over this. Both of you sound like you love each other very much and like these arguments are out of the ordinary for you. It sounds like both of you are in high stress places in life. Continue to communicate as you already have and remember to stay anchored in reality; why you fell in love, what makes you both enjoy time together, and so on. You will get through this and also grow through this. I pray you find rest in each other.