Sounds selfish but its not
i
define my life....no one else...i worked immensely hard all my life.
mh doesnt know that nor does family i havent seen in 40 years
dont ever take over someones lfe withotu permission well intended or not...
the day ed goes fishing.....might be his first....who is mh or anyone to say hes being lazy........aint no one else business .....
It's no one's business what we do on our down time. We do work hard. We need to unwind and recharge
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Lovely pic Dolphin
Thank you. I took it this am. I'm at my place of peace 
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Oh. I envy you. It looks so beautiful, enjoy.
Thank you It is absolutely gorgeous here.
i ve seen tooooo many people bunred out thrown away...neve do that to horses......yet common practice with people....very very thankful ....shoot like NFL players work the day after Sunday big games.....rest work crews or slam nurses? they ar3e machines buh have to be human ane compassionate...expect the impossible.....that what a nurse life is....
oh brother.....my sister can go drive trucks.....
honestly dolphin- not being nice....makes me so happy and i canthink about my place too since u have proven its safe
soorry i didn reply earlier dol....think its amazing how rhey work togther....mohers pushthe baby to he surface surrouned my midwives and super agressive males driving away he sharks....(nice she doesnt get mad....our two legged hate being protected at elast in our alpha alpha female vet med ...all i can figure......but boy u dont help anyone in vet med or riding..they d rather get mashed than helped.....u never ever go near or help female vets....ir u value ur health)
dolphins are amazing on so many levels....more u know the mosre awe u have true aon many areas in nature...more u know the more in awe....is for this pea brain me....the mor i think on things the more i have to borruw the duct tape o secure my jaw.............somethings......just blow my little tiny tiny thin y brain.....o m g........whod believe o r undersantd....u get it ....ud never laugh i had prb with intnest and having roruble getting back an still devistated by hose soss of a erson so still gut shot......just trying to hold it toegether...i stil cant believe it...............no words..........try not toh think about it........ peanuts gt ur red hots here beer anyone nedd a bberr op conrn get ur popcorn ...hows the game man....got a good view...hey great buddy....need a coke? anhyone olse.....uuuugh
Brig
Very appropriate timing for this post to show back up.
Lots going on in my world and the bottom line for me now is the title of your post.
For how long do we try and convince ourselves that everything is working out ok when the writing is on the wall that it's not? How long do keep fooling ourselves? Those are the questions in my head right now.
Your post gives me the opportunity to reflect. Where I was, where I am, and where I want to be.
Never ever sell yourself short. That brain of yours is far from pea size and I know that for a fact.
I'm heading back to the ocean on Tuesday! Lots to think about. No place like the ocean for me.
May we find peace in our lives
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absolutely...ive known the opposite and got huge trouble for objcting...hosp nurses and people following me...wasnt imaginary....and while im a nice guy....im fiercely protective side of peples privacy.....and i want*** people to have time off since i was worked to exhuastion then stomped by doctor for asking if his staff even got lunch...,,,,,ahhh!!!he is spoiled just like his mother said...
just back from two years Mash like conditions....160 hours per week.....slept every 4 to five days....tip of iceburg...
nbettter end there- people aint machines....i wont sacrifice to admin who need us and drop us when we cant get up any more......
better end there... to each his own....i make my own plans and decisions....
And so you should Brig. We are the only ones that know what we need. Took me many years to figure out I'm worth time off too. I deserve to get away from the stress and be happy.
i went home years ago...saw my old man workng til 2 am...we know the hours of medcine and vt med (ok shrinks dont.) .......we...are the engines....designed to work...however
we are the enginneer........we dont run it full throttle wide opoen excpt 911 then.....we cut her back...she aint designed
just bedcaus some bean counter or doctor or idot rested an dwell fed or general
walks in and presses the troops on on on on ...they get plenty of rest....
the engine and troops.......some generals know to take care of their troops nurses people horses planes trucks ....all he same 5thing....
others are geroge patton.....never cared about causalieis just 5their own glory...
u can run troops flat out 7 days a week 24 h4s.....yep
ur also going to have a very high turn over burnout rate
now .....that hops or army will go flat out constanly
however.....u better have a constant influx of new cherry trroops
whether troops or nurses .....all the same
humans have an evoluion
leaders can assign any no of cases or pushup s they want...
they****** arent doing them they***** never get tired
part of horsemanship is to educate the rider ie the leader ....how to care for and maintain the life of what he is dependent on.......u take care of the engine , the truck rhe staff...........only a moron......runs their hoorse into the ground...thats just movie garbage.......life is a marathon...
marathon........bean counter and leaders never get tired opeing the door to check on the air condiioner....
gee wonder why were gong through masses of medical supplies
dang nurses......
meanwhile.....cases are pouring ......pouring in....
just like covid now......u think one or two nures and docs migh need a rest of have ptsd
naw......better cut the nursing staff......80 to one ratio...nice round no ...always did like 8.....cool no.....add a zero....nice new memo........
they force workers to rebel...that not a character flaw..
fatugeu is patnent safety.....
someone is going to die
and 200 mil lawsuit....
whose
the morons.......aint the nurses....
hosp esp er are massive stress not stress of what banana split to order.........nurses get soo into it and no one knows what they do.......
i know.....the Nam Nurses....as a study....that was
one
year.......
sorry but 999 percent of system has no idea where nam is an lt alone he Nam nurses let alone nursing stresses
and hwe nd up tellsng them about PtSD.....oh.....and im paying them....for .....what reason?
not this idiot......
Nam? Nam Nurses? ah...5hat in my DM5......Nam who? Nurses? and u say they ....what worked hard? well who doesnt ?
oh.........brother....
ever spent a day on the floor and liing with the suffering doc?
me? i have my plant and my nice office and coffee....what else is there?
absolutely....im very protetive of peoples day off....throw peoople out...want them long term..got nothing to prove to me....
You are one grounded man Brig. You know what's important in life.
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i know....the system....i know...from experence ...who we can trust...who we can be real with...who we have *** to play the game with....who in the system...think the system is cotton shirt not...what it really is.....and since most counselors are Bopeep sweet and knd and dont know their are spiders an know we....are the problem
we......of expernc go out of our trees fig out how to work around the bou peeps...sweet and kind...on and aon and on...heal oursleves....heal ouselves with aid of othe mhs survivors and how to warn peeeeepples of the mhs without pissing off the ugly ogre system run by powerful ama dotor intilectualls.....
ohhh the fun of it all and thankful for ...and
we are forced.....to get mean....to which they will ....add the meds they caused....the anger they caused.......walkng all over peaceful people ...
and why we thrive better away from them
as yes we have dandruff and not perfect
ish
however they destroy the paaien5 for the cure
sorry.....i can live with the condition.....and have been
have 400 hats just fine....till this doct5o5 idios take over
but he doesnt fit the DM5
Patch adams movie and friends pretty much pegged it...
rural people ..oh no i assure u ....two neurons...never say much
ahhh doctor ....speach is but one form of....
and isnt there body language and eyes
nurse......who the h is 5he docto4 here....pass out the meds...
fantastic system.....soo impressed.....mind if i dont watch the rest of the movie? popcorn...going for popcorn...any normals here want to come help .? y know the ah door in back of trhe horror show? no no takers.,..oh stoned to 5he gills see ur a cooperative one.......
they force....us ........to be definant...that NOT an innate character flaw.....thats.....i have had enough of whatever is going on........for..........get.......it................
im no one leader...............but endorse
this system???? the bus for 5he lemming patrol and custers fun time troop righ5 oooooover there...........big L for true
losers......doctors who have never been nothintg out of rheir offices and rhey ......want to what?? run our lives?
u do wha5t u want...not this pony.......
no one makes decisons for me .....ever......
I'm going yo become that same pony with the stuff I'm facing now. Have to put myself in the driver seat. We have to protect and nurture our own lives not follow someone else's rules when they make no sense.
Some things just don't fit anymore
i never know what the problem is
is it they arent listening?
not hearing?
not percieing??
yes snowshoes are great........that fits ur*** needs
i was talking abou5 my and my nurses worlds.......
they force us to blow by them ...
this ...is what we need or i need...
u force me to be directd
i tried to be polite.....doesnt seem to work..and i dont have five years to get on sheet of paper....catch my drift
they force us to be black and white....we see 99999999 shades of grey
docors always thk their rules fit everyoene?? or seem to
but but im the doctor
doctor.......dif worlds.....ur answers dont remotely apply
the true manager turns the tablet to the staff
tell me what u need (which i have done many times...just news to my..."thoughtful F troop family")))))
u....know what u need...done
Ioaoca method of biz.......u ask the workers....tell me what u need...
doc lke to tell .....dont workeee
its not the hours that kills nurses.....
its that someone dies.....
and no matter what and how dysuncional and impsoliel thei job how insane he system
hey lost a life......
its scars them for life
bllws u mind these morons hire nurses not knowingt what makes them tick.....they have no idea...what livng with patient changes...metamophs nurses to senior nurses
u get ahead of that infection in 101 doc or else
thats a nurse ud better listen ot
she is talking from exeriencde....not book
u cant go back......u cant undo epereince
and hese shrinks are n charge? what this the gong show???
true...nurses are touched by the suffering of others and compelled........compelled to act ........to act to relieve their sufferng, comfort and preserve their dignity in the process....altristically (v selfish DNA theories) our nurses treat all regardless of political lines.....and sets them apart .....they remember all and each case or person....stays with them the rest of their careers....well documented....haunts them who they could not save etc.....
used them to help inspire me in my early career....
the essence......they and many others...definededication....and unsung people....we honor all that serve others ..in any capacity....
Nurses....are rhe lionesses.....of rheir paten5s...rightly so...
who can read his script? its not a character flaw
is dangerous......hey are not the Pia...they are he
guardians.....*****************
There is burn out in every job I imagine. Especially right now, workers are forced into carrying a heavier load and not always being compensated well.
We have a high standard. Give it all you got or go home. You do it everyday. Take pride in whatever you do and do it well.
i can smell experience......u ......get out now.....we only have two paper cuts.......i know u .....have to get a dozer .......leave now....thats an order........
when he stuf hits the fan nurse.....
i dont need exhausted seniors with a hundred cherries.....catchmy drift...they can handle a paper cut..sure uve seen it go south too....ok .....ill call if any5hint gets worrysome....
k? i NEED rested..........RESTED seniors.....when the next
cloud burst comes....catch ma drift....????
IM NOT CUTTING U Nurse
I CANT
REPLACE u..........
GO>>>>>>>
IM done......seeing the dedicatd...worked into the ground....
im just as mule as anyone even more
days off.....are an absolute......to recharge rest restore
our
BEST.....its NOT a weakness.....(dont pres take vacations..sure they do ....why? ....u turn)
i want my best...beack in two days.....or else...ur not ...expendable)
see u
WEDS..........
u can have ur stechtescope on WEDs.
yes i no...u have 12....way ahead....always super ready
i
rest
my
case..............duhhhhhhhhh
high standards in all sure....these peopepl jugle not jems not head of lettuce...a mistke and soeone lovedone....unique cant gt more letuce...ginormous responsiblities ...so u work them past exhausrionthen get pssd hey say anhing or fire hem
oh
insane standards....insane...i can say it u cant
im out o he system
im a total loss canon...u have to keep ur job an caeer
i hav notingt to lose....
Trying to find meaning in my life
My life is strange enough 
Alchol is Destroying my life
My life in a nutshell.
