Deal-breaker?

[Lookingforhope20100]

So I'm a Christian it's a big part of my life I go to church I made good friends with the people at my church but I found out my boyfriend doesn't believe and that's okay I guess I would rather have found another Christian but other than that he is a perfect 9/10 on the boyfriend scale but that's not my problem I feel like because he is my boyfriend I need to believe what he does and it will put my faith to the test I already pretended to hate church and that I'm only going because she is leaving me a lot of money for the record though I like church and the friends I made there I just don't like sitting through the church service my pastor is very long-winded. My mind and heart says it doesn't matter but somewhere in my brain it does matter a little bit because my faith helps me with my mental health so is it worth ruining this great relationship over one thing or should I continue to say it doesn't matter and be happy. because he does make me so happy he treats me better than I deserve and he is someone I could see myself building a future. side note to those who read my last post I decided it would be in my best interest to take my medication I'm not myself without it.

[Heliophile]

Hello darling,

I can relate to what you're saying because my faith is very important for me too.

I think that as long as there is love, respect and understanding between you two, as long as you remain true to who you are, then no it is not a deal breaker.

The question is why do you feel like you have to discard this part you and pretend that it doesn't matter? Is it because he makes you feel uncomfortable and small in what you believe in? If that is the case, then THAT would be the deal breaker.

My advice is be true to who you really are. Don't pretend to be anything you're not for the sake of others. Whatever it is, the right people will love you in all your glory and that love would be unconditional. If he is the one for you, then he will respect that part of you even if he doesn't agree with it.

One of my favorite quotes by shakespeare: This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

🖤

[Lookingforhope20100 in reply to Heliophile]

He doesn't make me feel uncomfortable about my faith he actually took it really well when I told him that it was a big part of my life and I told him if he didn't believe that was okay and I wasn't going to force it on him

[Heliophile in reply to Lookingforhope20100]

That's great, then! You don't have to pretend that it's not important to you, if it is. I don't see any deal breakers here😁

[hypercat54]

Why do you need to believe what he does? That idea went out centuries ago. You do what makes you happy and if you believe and he doesn't then you will both find a way to compromise.

[Dolphin14]

Don't lose a part of yourself for someone else. You pointed out your faith helps your mental health. This is huge in my eyes.

I don't see why it should be an all or nothing. Don't lose your individuality for some one else.

🐬

[mvillarreal]

I don't see why this should be a dealbreaker. People of different faiths have relationships all the time and navigate them just fine. A good book about this is "Being Both" by Susan Katz-Miller, which talks a lot about how interfaith families find ways of working together. According to this book, studies show that interfaith couples actually have STRONGER relationships than those who share a common faith, so this shouldn't be an issue so long as neither of you are trying to change each other's belief system. That can lead to problems.

[Midori]

Take your time with this relationship. Only you can decide ultimately if your boyfriend's lack of a similar belief system to yours is a deal breaker.

I know of some folks who have married with different faiths, and as long as both people are comfortable with it,and tolerant of each others' beliefs it can work.

Cheers, Midori

[stellina04]

I am not religious, I am spiritual tho. I like tarot cards, zodiac, planetary guidance, yoga, I'm a vegetarian and I most definately believe in Bigfoot. Lmao 🤣😂

My husband believes in none of that. He's not religious. He is very scientific minded, he eat a crap ton of meat and he doesn't care what his zodiac is and how the stars were aligned the day he was born. We are complete opposites.

But... He is respectful, kind and open minded to the things I care about and believe. He honestly is the love of my life even tho we couldn't be more different.

You truly just have to be yourself it's ok to have moments of doubt but eventually you need to be honest with yourself and him and someone who loves you for all that you are won't care if you believe in a God, multiple dimensions, reincarnation, or even Bigfoot.

They may even embrace it!

Afditionally:

My husband and I have been together 12 years, married for almost 2. We both came from religious families mine more so than his. He accepts me weird ideas and all and has gone thru with trying things for me that I care about even if he doesn't. In our own ways as different as they are we want the same things and it's ok to be different from each other. Communication is key!