I can't even study. I push people away. I'm fully deabilitated.
Now i should go to sleep and Tommorrow dad and sis will Come over for a fest. I'm anxious. Sis is too. I hope he doesn't bring his wife and baby. I hope sis is okay. I hope mom isn't mad and won't ask questions. I hope we won't have problems there like me panicing (at the fest and because dad and sis there), like dad criticising or we wanting stuff but dad not wanting to give us money. I get like "i don't deserve it, i don't want to cause troubles" but sis, she deserves the world and still understands. It's sad. Hope i make it. All day panicing. Couldn't study. Should write 7 essays for Monday and i can't. I can't even now when they aren't here, what comes Tommorrow?
