its still not enough

[anoniii]

today i got a congrats on paying off my car loan from a rep at travis credit union. i should be excited or at least a little proud of myself right? im also moving back home, got a new job making enough to get me by to help pay off student loans. this new job i make 2x more than what i did before. its good money. but its still not ..enough. im not talking money, im talking about the connection i didnt feel when that person was here that ive just been fantasizing about all this time. my happiness comes from what is make believe. its like a never ending cycle of trying to curate a strong connection that can only develop over a long period of time by two individuals. i cant ever seem to obtain it if the person isnt choosing to reciprocate. even my own family i love dearly doesnt reciprocate. will i always be this lonely? being on my own for over three years and im happy with myself but im tired of people pretending like we only need 'self love'. it doesnt make any sense to me.

[Agora1]

Hi anoniii, yes you should be congratulated for paying off your car loan. Wow that's ahuge accomplishment. Congrats on also accomplishing getting a new job, great pay with

the benefit of being able to pay off your student loans. All this sounds idealistic...that is

if you weren't putting your happiness in a past relationship.

Many of us make believe when we meet someone but a relationship is a reality. You both

have to feel the same way and have the same goals. Once you don't then it's best to let

go or you lose all spark from your life. Which I think is where you are at right now.

Sometimes we want things that aren't good for us or would hurt us in the end. I remember

reading about your relationship. Unless you are both on the same page, it's not going to work. Right now, it sounds like you are ready to start a new Chapter in your life. One that

will take you down another road. A road to success. Please don't allow another person

to ruin this opportunity.

Believe in yourself. I read your post and am proud of the capability you have in picking yourself up and starting over again. You are so fortunate to have a chance to make ends meet when so many are struggling in this world. Gratitude is a word that you have been

blessed with. I wish you the best in your future. xx

[anoniii in reply to Agora1]

hi agora, im so glad to hear from you again. thank you for responding. your words are so simple yet.. so powerful and meaningful to others. thank you

[Agora1 in reply to anoniii]

Thank you anoniii Sometimes we make life more complicated than itneeds to be. I'm proud of you. xx

[hypercat54 in reply to Agora1]

What a lovely response Agora x