Overwhelmed with everyone else’s stress

[Bluesky6]

I’m so overwhelmed with everyone else’s stress lately that my own health is suffering. My adult son has had some health issues and emotional problems as well. My sister has a lot of health issues as well and she’s always had anger issues. And of course she’s not shy about telling me what a bad sister I am for not checking in on her or ask how she’s doing because to her, her problem and health issues are priority (according to her) and no one else has comparable problems.She’s thrown me under the bus a few times the last few weeks. I’m just exhausted from it all. I do try to surround myself with positive people. My work is a source of stress as well.. and one person that is comparable to my toxic sister. I know it’s time to care for myself but I’m having a hard time letting go of everyone else’s needs and feel guilty about it. Has anyone else ever dealt with being so overwhelmed with everyone else’s problems?

[Hidden]

You aren't alone there. We can tell you this, but it's you who has to believe that you are worth it too. Look at it this way: you can't do a good job at helping others if you don't help yourself first.

[Bluesky6 in reply to Hidden]

Yeah, I totally agree with that. I guess it’s knowing where to start first.. my adrenaline has been in over drive for so long. It’s hard to go back into first gear again.

[AnxiousSilver]

"Has anyone else ever dealt with being so overwhelmed with everyone else’s problems? "

I'm trying to help my elderly parents out with health issues, but it's taking a toll on me that they don't understand.

Simply put, they understand what it is like to have physical pain but not mental pain.

You are not alone, and fortunately there's a community like this filled with good people trying to support each other.

[Bluesky6 in reply to AnxiousSilver]

Thank you so much for the support. I’m thankful for this community.

It is absolutely exhausting dealing with relatives that have health issues.

I have a sister that has a lot of health issues. She has been the angriest person I’ve known even before she had all her health issues. I had to take a step back because she has been attacking me every chance she gets. But she still expects me to help and go visit her. I can’t do it.

I have too much on my plate with my own young adult kids living at home. My coping skills have left the building because they have been over used.

I’m also a Pediatric Home Care Nurse and that’s exhausting in itself. Taking care of everyone else and I’m last. I need something to renew myself. I’m looking into acupuncture and a different therapist that will take in person visits. These zoom calls are not helpful. If you or anyone has any helpful suggestions in similar situations and found helpful ways to keep yourself sane during hard times.. please do tell.

I hope you have a good day and we will keep trying to take care of ourselves.

[AnxiousSilver in reply to Bluesky6]

IDK, I feel your pain. I'm trying to help my parents out, with toxic neighbors that live above me.

I suffer from severe GAD.

Some days I feel like I can handle and juggle all of this, and then there's days like today where the neighbors are out of hand, and I say to myself, when do I start taking care of me? 😔

[Against_the_current]

It's tough. I personally got traumatized from my mom's borderline and drinking and sis going through our stuff. The thing with me is that i want to help others, it's not like i want to put boundaries or say figure it out yourselves, but i am there when needed (now doing this with others) and then i got myself stress and i see how nobody is willing to tolerate me being so stressed. So i guess somethimes we have to take care of ourselves. Had a therapist that said "put your oxygen mask first so you can help others". And hey, you're a good person

[HoldingonLou]

Oh yes. I know exactly what you mean and our shoulders can carry but so much. What has helped me is to create boundaries. I usually write out a schedule for myself and set blocks of time to call friends or make visits. I have a friend as we all probably do that is always in crisis. I make sure to call and let him know exactly when I am available and when to reach out to me so I don't miss his call. I think it's always important to make sure people know you care about them and you want to be there for them. So give them the tools to make that connection with you within your own boundaries. It puts the control back in their hand to reach out but creates limits. Then you can simply apoligize because that is when you go to the store & not the time I told I would be home. Start planning things for yourself, even if it's a 20 minute break where you just practice deep breathing & turn off your phone.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I suffer from a God complex. I think it’s up to me to fix everything and everybody. I don’t know where I got this idea but unless I work on it, it will kill me.

I can only do the best I can do. But I keep trying to do better than my best. And that’s insanity in my book.

I work with a therapist who helps me see my limitations and also helps me be responsible for myself. I’m being irresponsible if I always put others first. Self care is a habit to practice.

I’ve had to give up the Superwoman role I had myself in. I can’t be all things to all people. I didn’t cause these problems that other people suffer from and I certainly can’t cure them.

Put down everyone’s lives and concentrate on living your own.

Keep posting and let us know how you’re doing.