losing hope

[Lookingforhope20100]

I have a lot going on right now like so much but on one hand, it seems like nothing to most that it's just life. but what do you do when life gets hard to live? well don't ask me cuz I have no freaking clue. My grandma and I are always fighting she makes me hate myself and my life. I was doing so good and she is bring me down and making fun of me. My mom makes it hard to stay sober and I try my best to keep my cool but all they do is fight with me like they want me to explode... now I don't have much to lose at this point but that doesn't mean I want to lose what I do have. I want my grandma to love me and listen to me but she never does she told me today that she hates me and what's me gone but kicking me out means she will lose my daughter. she is always calling me a bad mother but she isn't giving me the chance to show her I can be a good mother. she calls me lazy and worthless and I'll be the first to admit I'm all of those things but I don't need her to tell me that. and on top of my grandma's mental abuse, I got my whole life stolen someone is out there walking around with my name and numbers and everything. Then at work, my boss called me out in front of everyone for making a phone call in a stairwell that is hardly used but apparently people have been complaining about me and I talk to one of my co-workers about my personal life and apparently, I'm not supposed to do that either I don't know how much more I can take I really don't and I know things will get better they always do but I'm losing hope that things will get better. I'm starting to think I'll feel this way forever it's to the point that I'm thinking about admitting myself to a hospital to get the help I need and then I'm moving away to go to school and I'm never coming back to this place.

[Survivor1687]

(((hugs))) sorry you are struggling right now. You're not alone here. There's so many supportive people here. Keep reaching out. 💜

[Lookingforhope20100]

Thank you and I have very few friends but my godfather is the best and he is only a few blocks away from me when we get into fights it's hard for me not to fight back very few times do I walk away

[CoderMom]

That is such a hard place to be in, when the people who you are supposed to be able to rely on are not there for you at all. I have been there for 17 years. I know firsthand what it is like to try and raise your children without love and support from your family and have no one to turn to outside of them. Having strong healthy personal boundaries is a good place to start. Have you ever considered counseling, to have someone to talk to who listens and can help you learn personal boundaries?

[Hidden]

I do the best I can at that moment! Best is all I got! I give myself a break! Not perfect, but the best I got! I’m satisfied!