This is what I wrote to my therapist.... - Anxiety and Depre...

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This is what I wrote to my therapist. I’m struggling and scared that I may not return to normal after drinking for a while. Drinking=poison

Starrlight profile image
25 Replies

Hello

Today is Monday. I am still not well. I cannot think straight. I cannot drive. My brain is healing but so far everything is fuzzy. I have been sleeping 3 hours early waking up 3 hours late. I cannot think straight as it feels different and difficult. I will get back on a good sleep schedule from now on. Maybe that change is part of the problem. I need to be ok for my kids. I need to be ok for me too. Please help. I haven’t passed the 2 weeks mark for getting through withdrawals. Maybe soon I will revert back to or become a better me.

Thanks for listening please send me any tips you have.

P.s. I recall when I am over sleeping it is causing the fog. I always feel terrible in this regard when I sleep for too long. I don’t think my brain will stay this way I just have to be patient.

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Starrlight
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25 Replies
Louie35 profile image
Louie35

One moment at a time, one little battle after one little battle! Keep hanging in there, for yourself and for your kids! You made it this far! The fog and all of that will go away once your body adjusts, we are pulling for you! Godspeed!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Louie35

Thank you for being here with me Louie. Yes I feel myself becoming stronger and things are becoming more clear now that I recalled that too much sleep does this to me. A lot of it is my perspective.

Louie35 profile image
Louie35 in reply to Starrlight

I understand, have been there myself, different poison but the same battle!!! Keep posting whenever you feel down!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

How are you doing? Yeah addiction can become such a battle. I have addiction and mental illness run in my family. I got into these as a teen and have been fighting off snd on ever since.

Louie35 profile image
Louie35

Im good now, clean 2 years, i have my bad days but I'm never going back to that hell again! Try to find a support system in your area, a sober buddy, aa, anything, its easier when you have someone who's been through it themselves!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Louie35

First of all - good for you!!! I’m so happy for that. I have been through it before and gave AA a chance but never liked it. I have joined a Drink Free group on here and I have a therapist and friend with addiction education experience. I think this is it though, I’m through. It costs too much potentially.

Louie35 profile image
Louie35 in reply to Starrlight

Thats great! One day at a time!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Louie35

Thanks I won’t forget how you have encouraged me. I’m always here for you.

Louie35 profile image
Louie35 in reply to Starrlight

Thank you and don't mention it!!!!!!

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Louie35

💙

Take care Starrlight. Stay away from alcohol, its not going to help. We all love you on here.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to

Thanks Googoodollsfan. I know it just causes problems. We all love you, too. I’m really suffering right now. I am trying to not be triggered and right now that’s really hard. How are you doing?

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist

Hang in there, it is one day at a time for real...sometimes moment to moment. And whether you have had 2 days, weeks, years, or decades... it's still the same mantra kiddo. Just do the best you can to stay grounded and in the here and now as they say.

When I first got sober, my biggest issue wasn't withdrawal from drinking, it was having to deal with all the crap I was trying to block out by drinking. That's why it is so important for a lot of us to have reliable and consistent support throughout the first year especially, and thereafter as well. AA isn't for everyone, and if you're not religious, it can be a difficult issue to deal with in program. I don't like dogma mixed with my sobriety, as part of my mental injury was from religious abuse. So be sure what ever support system you have suits your lifestyle, that will help you gain more trust and security, I believe.

But as they say... 'just don't drink'...'bring the body and the mind will follow'... meaning...you do kinda just have to grab your behind with both hands some days and just push yourself through the process. Stay busy, do lots of writing, and sharing... it helps a lot I think.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to fauxartist

I so appreciate you taking the time to write to me. Yeah there’s a lot to face. I’m honestly really scared of life right now. I am deep breathing as I write. Everything seems so big and I am trying to keep my head above waters of responsibility. Much going on. I’m having a panic attack now. I feel like I have tunnel vision. My fears are irritating. How can I stop being afraid? Accept it right? Then deal with it in time and try to go with that flow, I think. What do you think?

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Starrlight

Theres a saying 'Keep it simple'... that is for those of us who pile everything into a mountain too tall to get over. So.... one thing at a time. Some days, just staying calm and doing the most basic things is good enough for that day. Listen kiddo, this is tough, and you're a warrior for taking on this stuff... yes.... it's scary, overwhelming, seems like it's impossible... too big to handle.... but it's not. Make things smaller, simplify, make a priority list, and do that one thing at a time. ...forget about yesterday.... you cannot change the past.... forget about tomorrow...it's not here yet and nothing is in granite... just deal with your stuff for today.... no regrets, no guilt, no what if's.... none of that is productive. Give yourself credit for all your doing, and know you're not alone.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to fauxartist

Wow so encouraging thank you this means so much to me.

fauxartist profile image
fauxartist in reply to Starrlight

keep sharing.... here's another qliche that worked for me: 'fake it till you make it', meaning... just keep going through the motions... do what you have to do, but don't beat yourself up.... this is a process... and it's going to take time to find your footing. Your doing great... it's all good.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to fauxartist

It’s all good! Love it. I used to say that a lot and it helps with feeling positive about life instead of worried in it. Yes fake it till you make it is good too. I will fake drive and fake talk to a therapist ha!

I copied what you first said about Keeping it simple. I love it.

eant65 profile image
eant65

Hi Starrlight,

I am going through the same thing, as I have a drinking problem, sleeping problem, anxiety and depression and ADHD. However, I have been working on this for a while and things have gotten a lot better. The first thing is to reduce to eliminate drinking because that will cause the sleeping issues with insomnia and irregular sleeping. Anxiety and depression will affect it as well.

I tried AA a dozen times and it works a little but i dont do it because they are like bible thumpers, so I have a therapist and psychiatrist, and medication. There are numerous medication for alcohol to help reduce to eliminate drinking. The first is Antabuse, which you take once a day, and if you drink anytime afterwards, you get sick (major heartburn), and a second one, which there are numerous, is Naltraxone, which greatly reduces the affects of the alcohol where you get sick of drinking. I am on Naltraxone now, which helps, also it does take about a week after you quit drinking to come back to normal with your sleeping.

I highly encourage that you talk to your therapist or Psychiatrist to get some advice. I have been on this rodeo trail for years, and all I want to do is get back to normal. Also one last thing there is a non-addictive sleep medication called Trazodone, which is a prescription, and I do recommend this, however talk to your medical doctor or therapist to ensure all these medications are not going to put your health at risk. Feel free to contact me as I am still a work in progress. You are doing great for submitting your issue, as it helps us as well, and this helps me work on myself as well.

Best Wishes

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to eant65

P.s. Best wishes to you too. Let’s keep in touch! :)

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight

I wasn’t drinking for a long time straight just off and on but now it will be off only. I’m into my second week of no alcohol and sleeping more than usual and barely eating. I too don’t like AA I gave it many long tries and I rather go about it in my own creative ways. I think meditation will be key for me also as I get my motivation back for cleaning and keeping busy also I could use exercise to help. I keep a journal which is great and especially when I can look back snd see progress it motivates. I don’t feel up to much today anx I can say that is ok. Usually I would beat myself up for it.

What are you doing that you notice helping or think that you will do to help stay sober snd be healthy in mind body and soul?

eant65 profile image
eant65 in reply to Starrlight

Hi Starrlight,

I have been going through the same thing except my sobriety is only less than a week, however I am on Naltraxone, which is anti-alcohol medication prescribed by my psychiatrist to reduce and eliminate the affects and tastes of drinking. I was finally correctly diagnosed by my new therapists this year of ADHD, Bipolar and I think Narcist, BUT i figure its better late than NEVER. I wish I could of found out when I was young, however it is what it is. The withdrawal or side affects of drinking will take at least a few weeks to month to start fully healing, and sleep is definitely good. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk, let me know.

Best Wishes

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to eant65

Hi! You too, eant65, let me know if ever you want to talk.

Survivor1687 profile image
Survivor1687

((hugs)) hang in there. 💜

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Survivor1687

💙

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