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Here's what got to me and pushed me to the edge

wmcagoodguy profile image
16 Replies

Things over the past 4 years pushed me to the edge. Trumpism, Lack of Climate change action, , unwanted retirement, then the Pandemic, finally getting COVID

One of our kids broke up with his wife, moved into our house with the kids, Parents don't enforce house rules. The War in Ukraine..I feel like the world will never be normal again, or I'll never see it normal again

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wmcagoodguy profile image
wmcagoodguy
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16 Replies
Blueruth profile image
Blueruth

I have a cousin in her 80s who experienced a lot of discrimination and fight. loves Bernie. But she told me she would leave that to us. Emotionally she was passing on the fight. You should do the same. Support the millennials and gen x running for office locally. Maybe if you start supporting local leaders your family will see.

wmcagoodguy profile image
wmcagoodguy in reply to Blueruth

Dear Blueruth you are correct I have come to that same conclusion I ve given up political activism It became toxic for me The next generation will have to pick up the fight when they are able it makes me angry Not to have hope for this world and for the world of my kids and grandkids I grew up with Peter Paul n Mary and Joan Baez and all of that my generation failed those ideals but you are correct I have to let it go / good guy

Blueruth profile image
Blueruth in reply to wmcagoodguy

Not all failure…I have way more opportunity than my mother. My cousin’s partner was instrumental in passing title 9. LGBTQ marriage would not have happened without that movement. In high school we completely rejected contemporary music. So much better music in the 60s and 70s. Yes the boomers screwed us on climate change. I remember watching John Kerry speak at earth day in the 80s about climate change!

You got time to make a difference without getting involved in the toxic part. I have an older friend who helps with fundraisers for progressive state level candidates. We became friends through a campaign to flip the state blue in another state (which led to ERA ratification). The thing is she can afford to do that and that is the point. Let millennials hit the streets and run for office. Support them by learning who they are and attending fundraisers or just a monthly donation on act blue. For a council member 10/month is literally enough. Your streets and law enforcement and city new construction policies are directly affected. Back to John Kerry…look what he became! It’s important to support local candidates.

Re climate change…I’m not as depressed as I was. We tend to be in a bubble called USA but countries all over the world are not waiting hopelessly. They have good ideas and are doing them. Prevention is a pipe dream but that doesn’t mean there isn’t hope.

Marysblue profile image
Marysblue

Not just the Boomers. All the next Generations have been buying too much,driving low mileage suvs, taking once-in-a-lifetime trips every year.

Personally I try not to do any of that. I live in a small condo, i recycle, take few trips. I even have some land with trees on it to offset some of my carbon.

It is very frustrating the lawmakers have put big oil over climate and still doing it.

Arymretep profile image
Arymretep in reply to Marysblue

We boomers used glass bottles that we used to return to the shop and get money back, no plastic, no cars, or mobile phones and computers in school , we walked everywhere, so I don’t think we are entirely to blame for climate change

wmcagoodguy profile image
wmcagoodguy in reply to Marysblue

Hi Maryblue. RE climate change I’m not blaming it all on the boomers yes the following later Gens contributed What upset me is that not enough b people are taking it seriously and the click is ticking and each year we see these fires and hurricanes and tornadoes Abd it’s not being given any urgency. That frightens me as do some other world problems I used to be very involved writing letters supporting causes marching etc and for me I feel it personally To see nothing really being taken seriously and everything politicized it makes me feel grief s d fear Duting pandemic I had too much spare time I began to feel grief and Anxiety My therapist says that I got too close to it To attached and failure hurt too much. Being pushed into retirement when my company was taken over by another larger selfish company just before the pandemic started made me feel like. I guess nothing works anymore For me that combination of grief and fear became too much Abd yes for me some of this is genetic and chemical But I’m learning to walk away from those things and focus on things that maybe I can do something about and help somebody when I’m better That’s why I’m here posting I want to be involved in this organization do that I can help myself and then help others

Lizzo30 profile image
Lizzo30

They are political issues rather than health issues - maybe you should be venting on twitter ?

wmcagoodguy profile image
wmcagoodguy

Lizzo you are correct. I’m not looking to have political discussion. Not all. If anything I need to get away from that. My point was that all of these horrible things of the recent years and the pandemic and that I recently retired unwillingly have affect me emotionally I started to grieve for a more normal time and started to have anxiety attacks where I hyperventilating tilated

Arymretep profile image
Arymretep in reply to wmcagoodguy

I agree this is very relevant, i think the pandemic especially is to blame for a lot of the mental health crisis we are now facing, I never suffered panic attacks until lockdown.

wmcagoodguy profile image
wmcagoodguy

Yes the pandemic got to me in the last 6!months. I started to feel imprisoned trapped and I started hyperventilating fir hours at a time I only recently learned that when we sleep our bodies produce Cortisol a cousin to Adrenalin It kicks in about an hour after waking and causes the anxiety thing The antidote is about an hour exercise walking briskly swimming if possible something that creates a sweat I started being really serious about this this past week I feel some improvement Some med adjustment also is finally starting g to help

designguy profile image
designguy

I can definitely sympathize with you. I'm retired and it too wasn't by choice but was volunteering and had travel plans but covid put a halt to that. i initially didn't mind the isolation and did a lot of house projects but am having difficulty getting motivated again. I too am dismayed about the direction our country is taking including frustration of the lack of progress on climate change among many other issues.. I'm also dismayed at how divisive we have become and it seems to be increasing.

i've been active on facebook until recently and have also posted or forwarded political messages but my family of origin are all of the other political party so I have been accused of spreading hate because I don't agree with them. I've realized that all i'm doing on facebook is continuing to add to the divisiveness so from now on i'm just going to post constructive, positive messages and let the younger generation take over. I'm tired of politics, it makes me angry and frustrated and my mental health is much more important.

I also had issues with anxiety/cortisol and take herbal supplements for it at night before bed. I take ashwagandha, phosphatidylserine and magnesium glycinate. I also take melatonin for deeper sleep. The other thing is to cut out caffeine. I also find that some days i'm good with retirement and others it's difficult. I enjoyed what i did as a career so I wasn't longing for retirement. Best to you.

wmcagoodguy profile image
wmcagoodguy in reply to designguy

Hi Design Guy thanks for just that your comments..Of all the comments that you and I seem to be tuned to the same station the most. I have always had anxiety / depression on and off in my life particularly when my first wife died suddenly at age 47 that was the first time that i realized that I could become ill from my emotionals..That was in 1996 But I got help and eventually I became ok ...But all of the horrible things of the last few years and the retirement...it's too many changes for me...And so the Anxiety came back to where I hyperventilate in the early hours of the day...and sometimes break into a sweat..I didn't know that there was a natural herb that can manage the cortisol issue. I'm going to look into that product that you mentioned and discuss it with my Rx . It got bad about two months ago after getting a break through Omricon....Anyway for the short term I had to up my Klonopine at night so that i didn't start the day in anxiety mode....I tend to do better as we get later in the day.....I too have had to give up on the news ....I understand how we let our country get so divided....You and i grew up with Huntley and Brinkley and Cronkite and other reliable down the middle news sources....Now we have my news and your news...We no no longer have THE NEWS....And the legacy broadcasters gave up their responsibility But that's a lost cause i won't waste my time on it....just that early in my life I wanted to be a history teacher so I cared a little too much .....Anyway by your name Designguy I guess you might have been in the technical world ...I lost my teaching job early in 1974 when NYC was going bankrupt.So i wandered into the electrical supply business and found my way starting out knowing nothing about it ..I ended up spending 44 mostly happy years especially the last 33 years in sales. I was very happy I realized "this is who I was". Then one day a large company bought our company and ruined and at 69-1/2 they took the joy out of it and so I retired I do some free lance work with about 4 customers repping for 3 companies...just as i started rolling the pandemic hit Anyway when i'm feeling ok I like to read a good, I listen to jazz, classical , broadway and some top 40 radio ....When I'm relaxed I like to enjoy a nice whiskey and i enjoy the beach in the summer time ( although not every single day) I would like to do some volunteering things too. I miss having an office to go to .....One of the reasons that i went on to this site is because I have battled Depression and Anxiety on and off over the decades I know something about it..I'd like to think that maybe i can help somebody thru this process while helping myself Anyway it sounds like maybe we have a bunch of things in common I look forward to hearing from you again / wmca-goodguy

designguy profile image
designguy

Hey wmca, I feel some of your pain and glad I could help with the supplement info. You're close about the design reference, I had a graphic design firm for over 20 years then did design consulting and fine art crafts and my last gig was as the creative/marketing director of a building products manufacturer. I was there for over 9 years and the company was bought by a large manufacturer. I was initially told they wanted me but then let me go. I've been very fortunate to work at something I enjoyed for the most part and was good at. I also met my 2nd wife through the business who became a partner in it and life. i wasn't ready to retire since I enjoyed what I did. I did some fine art craft shows after I retired and worked at a hardware store because I do a lot of diy projects and some volunteering but then covid hit and I stopped everything and now i'm trying to decide/get motivated of what to do next.

My background is that a grew up in an emotionally repressive home environment and was punished physically and verbally shamed for expressing anger and trying to stand up for myself. I had three brothers and all we did was fight. I was bullied later on in school and later on developed social anxiety disorder but had no idea what it was. i sought help from different therapists and got on medication but it wasn't until a number of years ago that I realized that what I had was social anxiety not general anxiety as I had been diagnosed. I then later realized that I also had c-ptsd from the bullying and started therapy with a trauma specialist using emdr therapy which has helped. I've pretty much resolved the social anxiety but had a recent setback. I also realized that I had low-self-esteem and have done work around that and continue to.

I've definitely found retirement challenging, especially as a high achiever and doer and someone that was use to external validation. I very much self identified with my career. I've had to force myself at times to do nothing and be ok with it. I've also realized that life is an inside job and not an outside one, I wish someone had explained that to me years ago. Covid has also made me realize how much I miss people contact and unfortunately most of my good friends have gone on to the next life. So I'm still trying to figure this next chapter of my life. One of the things I am also doing is cultivating my spiritual side.

I've found this site and the anxiety site very helpful and I love being able to offer help if I can. Look forward to talking again.

wmcagoodguy profile image
wmcagoodguy

Hi Mr Design Guy. Can’t write too much tonight I’m in the west coast packing up to go home to NYC But you mentioned more things that we have in common I didn’t grow up in an abusive home but my mother had bouts of mental illness and it disrupted the household. My grandmother had to move in and take care of for a year one time 6 months another time This was back in the mid 1960s. But I got bullied for 6 years in school. It started in the 4th grade and lasted till the 9th The worst was in junior high school grades 7-8-9 In those days the words mental illness was like saying leperecy Wird got out among the parents that my mother had mental illness. Well it became Hey I hear your mother s crazy It got me into the only street fights I was ever in It got me into school fights too where I ended up in the principals office. I couldn’t bring myself to tell my folks why I got into fights …..Also in grades 4-5-6. They used to divide the classes up into 2 groups slow and fast I was in the slow readers group. So right from the start the faster group shunned us I also am married to a second wife. My first wife died at age 47. Quite suddenly from a rare blood disease I met somebody new and inherited two more sons. Question what is C-PTSD. as opposed to PTSD. My Rx thinks that I have a bit of that relating to my first wife s death which I ll have to tell about that another time I also had two things happen to me in the army …not combat but something else which set up my first lengthy episode of panic which went on for about 4 months I ll tell you about that next time thanks again for writing I have to fly from SFO to JFK tmw / wmca good guy

Hb2003 profile image
Hb2003

Same the world needs to change .

Yes, I understand. The war in the world make me sad everyday. Im glad I believe the world will get better though and you will see it. I wish you could see that too. I hope your son and grandchildren are ok

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