Why is it when a person is upset, the person in question will go on and on about themselves. If you ask a question or offer neutral advice, your not listening or you don't understand...
Yet when the person who listens tries to talk, many people talk right over them; their voice doesn't matter, their feelings don't matter...
I am the one who does my best to listen in my family, yet I get talked over. When I try to speak. Everyone talks right over what im trying to say. Even at the last 2 jobs I had, that has happened. I guess im just not important enough to listen to.
My childhood was that way. My mother worked all the time. My father half way worked. I was the youngest of 4 and the only girl. I didn't get acknowledged. I dont remember much about my childhood except reading books. The books took me away to a different life where I mattered. I dont know why we were poor since both my parents worked but we were. I barely had decent clothes to wear. Once puberty hit, it got worse I still had to wear hand me downs from my brother's, their clothes didn't fit right I was a girl not a boy. I tried to explain to them when I was around 13 that something was wrong with my emotions and i was sad all the time yet it was ignored. I was ignored. It took years before I finally made a real friend who looked information up on the internet and told me that he thought I had anxiety and depression. Many years right around the time I quit my 11 year job I finally went to a doctor and got help. I was ashamed to ask for help but I did and got medicine. My parents still didn't understand. My father didn't acknowledge it either way considering he's selfish and only himself matters. And my mother well, she prefers to be the center of attention when it comes to anything. The medicine was helping but i sleep alot. I was sleepy 24/7.
The older I get the more it seems im crumbling apart from the inside out.
Currently I am jobless. I am looking for a job but not sure what to do. My depression takes everything out of me. I am healthy and have money to survive on for a few months yet im still depressed. I still feel a heavy cloud that weighs me down no matter where I go or what I do. I don't know why i was born if all my life was to suffer....I just don't understand
Hi not criticising but you sound like a 'people pleaser'. This is very common in those who suffer with their mental health. Somewhere along the way you have learnt that you and your feelings don't matter, only everyone else's.
If you put out the image (unconsciously) that you don't consider you don't matter then other people will pick this up and you will attract users rather than equal friends.
The good news is you can change this through therapy and self help and it is doable. Have a look at this as it might ring some bells.
As for your family you said they don't understand. It doesn't mean they don't love you anyway. Try telling them how they can help you as often people don't have a clue. This will make them feel better and you too so it's a win win.
Things that help me. Wim Hof guided breathing exercises free on you tube. They have other ones if you don’t like these . 30-40 minutes of daily cardio exercise to help burn off steam. And I only take about 1 hot shower a week. I take barely warm shower and rinse in cold the last 5 minutes. I take my medicine too. The internet and you tube has information on all this and why it helps. Just rinse in cool and work to cold. Exhale slowly it keeps you relaxed in the water.
I can't say I know how you feel. But in some ways I have experienced self loathing and would have one heck of a pity party. I was the youngest of 6 (4 boys and 2 girls). My mother was loving but not affectionate. But I sought affection and rarely got it. My father was an alcoholic but loved me and again no affection. That is the nearest I can get to your situation. I was dismissed from anything because to my family I didn't know what I talked about. I too had a love of books even before I learned to read. I have been depressed for most of my life but hid it. I was molested when I was 4 and raped when I was 20. But no one ever knew it. And even after that, I still sought "affection". I don't know but I think you might be on the wrong meds. I would find out. You need to think clearer. I write a journal. And when I write, I think of 3 options that may help. I ponder over which is best to try. If one doesn't work I try another. I am always looking for that "key" that opens that door of "help". I doubt I have helped you but I wanted to let you know YOU ARE WORTHY. You matter! That has helped me thru a lot of situations. I MATTER!
😢I am sorry you went thru all that. And yes, you have helped. I need to try writing all my thoughts and feelings down it may help. Thank you for reading my post and offering insight that is helpful. I hope you have a happy day🙂
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I’m at my breaking point 
I don't know what to do 
At my breaking point.
Struggling to Accept What Life Has Handed Me.
