Venting

[Bookishbunny]

Okay so I just need to vent. God I’m so freaking tired of living like this! Every second is like I’m on the edge just waiting for one last thing to send me over.

My new job is great. The issue is my family.

This is very triggering for me to talk about because this situation is the main cause of my depression, so I will just gloss over a few things because it’s really hard to talk about. My whole life things have been up and down with my family on both sides. On my mom’s over the course of three or so years they have actively worked to cut us out. They have never treated my parents as equals and after the passing of my grandfather we had a falling out and now only one member even talks to us at all. On my father’s side I’ve dealt with a lot of… stuff. Everything from openly disparaging my mom in front of me to getting screamed at. I’ve reached the point where I’m over the shit and I want all of them out of my life. My dad is openly against this and pushes me to be around them.

This causes so much anxiety it’s unreal. Every day is hell for me at this point.

The main reason I am writing this is because of a situation on this past Friday. My boss is a neighbor of my grandparents. She left early that day, and minutes later they call my dad saying I should be home any second. They are so nosy and prying! I am a grown ass woman, where do they have the rite to call my father and tell him I should be off work! The entire reason I’m angry is because no matter how good a granddaughter I am, no matter how honest or trustworthy they treat me like a criminal. If I didn’t come home then what? I was lying to my dad? Trying to sneak around? How do they have the nerve to call him and do this! I’ve never done anything to make them mistrust me and still this! And I know that’s why they called to make sure they ruined any chance I had of doing wrong because in their minds I belong to them. Anything having to do with me is their business. Oh my god I’m so pissed off! I’m so over this crap!

I don’t know know what I hope to gain from posting this I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading any encouragement is nice.

[Agora1]

Whew....find a quiet corner bunny to call your own. Put a warm blanketaround your shoulders. You'd be surprised in how that can make you feel

loved because it's like getting a hug.

Then just breathe. Clear your mind of any thoughts. There are some things

in life we cannot do anything about... Learning to accept these acts of others

with a grain of salt. They are not worth you getting emotionally wrecked.

I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight. You need to regenerate. Goodnight sweetie xx

[Blueruth in reply to Agora1]

You cannot change someone’s behavior. they have to choose to. But you do not have to accept behavior with a grain of salt. You can change your life circumstances. Tracy Chapman was my inspiration.

[Blueruth]

Is it possible to get out on your own? It sounds extremely dysfunctional. family.lovetoknow.com/about...

[Bookishbunny]

Edit: they did this again on Monday. My uncle called my dad and give him an ETA on when I should be home as he saw me drive by. Honestly, does anyone understand why I'm upset? I've started to doubt myself and if this should bother me or not.