Should have said something

[Lookingforhope20100]

So in my last post I talked about something really personal that happened to me when I was younger I didn't go into detail because I'm not ready but I feel like I should have told someone a lot sooner about what happened because I found out today that the person that did what they did to me did that to somebody else and she has the same issues that I do not trusting people not wanting to leave the house by herself and I feel like if I would have said something when I was younger it wouldn't have happened to her so needless to say I'm react with guilt over not speaking up sooner I know it's not my fault and I know what was going through my mind but at the same time I can't help but feel like it is my fault

[Hidden]

Hi there. I just read your last post. I am so incredibly sorry that happened to you. Please, in no way should you feel guilty for something you didn't say. It is very easy for us to think back and kick ourselves for what we think we should have done or said. I know this is so much easier said than done, but try and not to feel guilty. Do you have a therapist you can talk about this with?

[Lookingforhope20100 in reply to Hidden]

I used to but the therapist I had didn't really work out so I'm trying to find a new one

[Hidden in reply to Lookingforhope20100]

I wish you luck in your search! Thanks again for sharing! Please continue getting it out (if comfortable with that, of course). As Mrspjsmom says, this is in no way your fault. Are you familar with Brene Brown's books? I've only read one of them so far (The Gifts of Imperfection). I've been told that her speciality is on shame, though. She has youtube videos that I've been told are really good.

[Mrspjsmom]

This isn't your fault. I know you feel guilty. I have been there. Someone who did something to me did it years later to someone else. But anything I said or did couldn't have prevented it from happening again. It took me a long time to realize that. Alot of tears, so much guilt, and anger. Please don't suffer like I did.

[Hidden]

Unfortunately people who abuse others never stop at one person. I'm sorry you went through this. There are many hotlines that can point you in the right direction depending on what kind of abuse you went through. They may have some free resources to get you some councilling or support. Just talking about it is a really big step. It takes a lot of courage.

Best of luck & sending 🤗 &❤❤❤❤

[Sammmrae]

There is absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty about not speaking up sooner. Especially being in a fragile state that you didn't/don't feel comfortable talking about it. That is NOT your job to do so. The person that did the damage is the guilty party. Not you. I hope you eventually get to the point where you no longer feel the burden of guilt over you for this, because you did nothing wrong. Plus there is way too many people in this world that disregard warnings anyways, and that ends up feeling even worse because you STILL feel guilt but also want to tell them I told you so...

But you are not a bad person.

Victims of any kind of trauma should not be held responsible for preventing it to happen to others in the future.

You just got to focus on healing yourself, and don't push yourself to talk about things you're not ready to for others sake. Your own mental health comes first.

Sending lots of love your way.