My Boyfriend Crushed My Confidence

[grimesq]

I feel like my boyfriend doesn't want me. He used to chat with other girls to gain their attention and claims that he didn't like them the way he did with me. Plus, he has said the chats never really went anywhere because he doesn't know how to keep a conversation. Additionally, he told me he stopped two months in because he realized how much he loved me.

This was two years ago(when we first started dating), and I found out a month ago. I can't help but feel crushed, stupid, and unwanted. I already dealt with self-esteem issues before and during our relationship(we had issues involving other girls before I found out about this), but this has crushed any confidence I had left.

[Hells18]

Sorry to hear he’s putting you through this, you really need to put ur self first and think is he good for you’re mental health sometimes men or woman do stupid things but if you feel that hurt and it is totally understandable I would leave the situation or work on it as a team xxx

[fauxartist]

There's nothing stupid about being trusting, and when someone breaks that trust...it's on them.... he's gaslighting you.... want's his cake and eat it too.... and he's a coward for doing this to you. You deserve better... and believe me... it's out there for you.

[Hidden]

It sounds like He has the problem, not you. If you feel unwanted etc, why stay, walk away, the world is full of needful kind people who will show you respect.

Also if you are having concerns or worries regarding a boyfriend walk away to find someone who would be honest and truthful. Remember we are a long time married, to death, it is important we do things that suits our needs

BOB

[emmi331]

How sad it is when we keep toxic people in our lives. You have discovered that he is untrustworthy, yet you're still with him.

If you are in counseling, I hope you are addressing this issue. The problem doesn't just lie with your boyfriend, but with what sounds like your low self-esteem.

Ask yourself the old Ann Landers question: Am I better off with him or without him? And answer the question with honesty....🤔

[grimesq in reply to emmi331]

Hi emmi331,Firstly, thank you for responding. My main issue is that I am codependent and while I do love my boyfriend, he is my source of validation. I need him even if he doesn't want me or need me. However, (and I feel guilty about it) I do wonder how my life and mental well-being would be like if we never met. Sometimes I feel like he makes me happier but at the same time, I feel like he makes me feel worse about myself when it matters.

It's an extremely toxic situation and I know the answer is so simple.. but it's so hard.