Crushing hopelessness

[Seacow111]

On the outside my life looks great. Lovely family, good job, healthy, no money problems but I have recently been hit with crushing depression and anxiety and the inability to sleep. I just want my old life back. I fear so much for the future and for my family. Just looking for some advice or encoragement. Is there anyone on here who has been through this and come out the other side feeling fine? Have gone from a normal happy guy to feeling suicidal in a few months.

[Coral43]

I know exactly how you feel. My life on the outside looks great, I have a supportive family, a job and great friends, that are always there when I need them. I was hit with depression just about 2 years ago, and it came out of nowhere. I am still dealing with it so I have not come out on the other side of it yet, but I do know that having family support and talking to people on here has helped me a great deal. I have found that talking to a therapist and being on medication has also helped me out during this time. I struggle with my husband not accepting the fact that I have depression, but my children have seen the change in me and have been around to help me when I need it. With the right support you can get through this or at least get to a point where you can manage it a little easier. Just know that you always have people who care about you even if they are strangers.

[Seacow111 in reply to Coral43]

Thank you so much, is good to speak to people who understand.

[Coral43 in reply to Seacow111]

I'm always around if you ever need to talk.

[Seacow111 in reply to Coral43]

Is always good to talk. Life is a struggle at the moment. I did take some drugs for a week, mirtazapine, but they didn't agree with me. Also I have an issue that my job as a military pilot means i cant fly on anti depressants so I am loathe to take them as it will take me off flying for over a year. If I can deal with this without them then I should be back to flying in a few months. Am getting CBT which is something. I had a good few weeks just gone but then came crashing back down this week, couldn't get out of bed on tuesday and was having terrible suicidal thoughts. I have a wonderful wife and three great daughters. Work are supportive and there is a great chaplain who has been a huge help. Still a struggle though, is absolutely crushing at times. Thanks for your support though, anything you can suggest that might help would be hugely appreciated.

[Coral43 in reply to Seacow111]

I understand about not being able to take the medication, as a military pilot I know that you would not want to be grounded for that long. I have also been doing this without medication lately, due to the fact that the only medication that helped I was having major side effects from, so I had to be taken off of it immediately. The one thing that I have found that helps me when I am really down is to just get in my truck and go for a drive, I have driven around for hours before just to try to calm my mind. Sometimes it works for me and sometimes it doesn't.

[nicetry in reply to Seacow111]

CBT worksheets can really help you sort through your thoughts, I use them frequently. ... I’m in the same boat: from the outside, I’m a funny, nice person. I have a beautiful home in a great neighborhood, no money worries, etc. But I was, like Coral43, hit with a deep depression about 2 years ago & am not yet out. But thing is that it’s happened before and I always came out the other side. My husband and sister are godsends — their support has gotten me through many a bad day. That, and a good therapist to talk to if you can get one. Good luck! Know that everyone here supports you!

[Seacow111 in reply to nicetry]

Thank you, really appreciated the thoughts, you are good people.

[Chanshan in reply to Coral43]

Same here. Financially very strong, great family but I get episodes of depression which I can't share with family members because they don't understand. Already on medicine and don't want to increase the dosage. I am just wondering this is only due to clinical depression because of some composition in the body and there is nothing I can do except wait for it go. I had few episodes in last 12 years and everytime somehow it disappear. Now it has been 8 weeks and still it is hurting a lot.

[Seacow111 in reply to Chanshan]

I am sorry to hear that. What medication are you taking and does it work?

[Chanshan in reply to Seacow111]

I am taking zoloft and it works most of the time

[Chanshan]

I am in the same boat. No job, finance or family issues. but still feel so much depressed and it really hurts. It happened to be many times and every time I recover from it. Don't know how. It is just that one day I start feeling better. So hang on.. and try medicines. I take zoloft and it is kind of helping.

[Seacow111 in reply to Chanshan]

Thank you, I think trying medication is what I need to do.

[Avidreader9559]

I do have experience with depression and anxiety. I have to be very careful with what I think about. If a negative thought comes into my head, I have to be very deliberate about making sure I think something positive. I have learned that being thankful for the things in my life have helped me with this. I use sticky notes around the house where I can see them, and I repeat those messages to myself. I listen to positive music. I exercise. I do things that help me see the positive like what a sunset or just be outside. I do things I enjoy most of the time. Anxiety is a little harder for me. I try and take deep breaths and relax with the exhale. I focus on the positive and on the present. I pray about the things that I have no control over. I seek God for peace and comfort in whatever situation presents itself. I agree with PPs. Having support from others in invaluable. Having someone to talk to and share our burdens with can help ease the load. I hope you find what you need to make it through this time and keep moving forward.

[Seacow111]

Thank you, that is really sound advice, just need to actually listen to it and apply it now!