I know it's all lies but it feels so real

[dreamingofmountains]

I feel like a burden and a horrible person. I am always about to start crying. I am a manager and supervisor, so I have to pretend to be a competent person during the day. I try to restrain my tears at night because I don't want to burden my husband.

I have been under treatment for depression and anxiety for years, but the pandemic has broken the camels back recently. I have the feeling that I am useless and deserves to be punished. I work hard to feel like I am earning the right to exist by being useful.

[Mirabellee]

I feel a little like you at the moment I'm so sorry you feel this way. You are important you are the world. Try and reach out to your husband or a colleague or a doctor. Here if you need a natter xxx

[Midori]

Can I make a suggestion of something which worked for me?

I realised that voice in my mind was destructive, and started to tell it to go away; In the most terrible words I could conjure up, fighting back against it. I kept doing it every day if a negative thought came I banished it, and eventually It gave up.

If something negative happens now and it tries to weasel it's way back in I tell it off again an to go forth and Multiply!

It's worth a try!

Cheers, Midori

[Hidden]

Hi and welcome!

I have very similar feeling these days. I am fighting to keep myself alive. It is very hard because I believe I deserve to die.Please talk to your husband. Do it for you. You should not have to suffer alone.

I'm not sure how it is in the US, but over here in Europe people are very optimistic that this Omicron variant is the beginning of the end.