I hope it gets better...another year just started

[Lucyw22]

I'm new here. I decided to try something new and seek out online support for 2022. I've felt like I've always suffered from depression most of my life. I've tried therapy in the past (I feel like I need it again) and been on a few different anti-depressant's. I don't feel like the anxiety or anti-depressant meds are helping anymore. I joined because I really got tired of talking with friends and family members who don't "get it." If you don't suffer from a mental illness it's hard to understand what it feels like. They feel like its something you are able to just get over it or they tell you that you have so many good things happening or to look forward to to be depressed (Basically you need to be grateful). I've tried different things. I tried to pray it away, meditation, self-help books, achieving my goals, meds, etc. but it feels like a little monster that never completely goes away. It feels like happiness last a short while and I try to hold on to it as long as I can. A big chunk of my depression right now stems from me separating from my husband a year and a half ago. The holidays were rough. I tried to appear happy for my kids. I left him due to his drug addiction. I didn't find out it was an issue for him until we were married for 4 years. It's been 6 now. He now wants to reconcile but I'm not sure about it. I planned on filing for divorce this month. My big fear about this is if he relapses. Anybody who deals with a spouse with an addiction knows life can be a rollercoaster ride. It has taken a toll on my mental health in the past and I don't want to make things worse if it falls apart again. I want to get to the place of not crying all the time and feeling pessimistic about certain areas of my life.

[Marysblue]

Welcome. Everyone here understands and is here to help. I hope things get better for you. Maybe counseling is a good step too. Sounds like you're doing alot of things to help yourself. It takes awhile to get over a loss and we all need help sometimes.

[Ramon123]

Hi Lucy - I understand what you're going through. Sometimes it feels helpful just to talk things out with others who understand and are willing to listen. This community is here for you. Feel free to DM me if you ever want to chat.

[Hidden]

Hello

It's a good place, if you want to chat there is usually someone here to chat too... All very helpful people.

I hope we can all help you.

[HisDaughter]

Dear Lucy,

I am glad you decided to write to talk about your suffering! It's not easy being in your place and I would recommend that you get therapy again. It helps many times. Mental illnesses can last many years in some cases and it is important to be consistent with treatment. I have suffered from depression for most of my life too and I feel compassion for you. I am sorry that you are hurting a lot! There are professionals who provide individual marital counseling and that is something that could be very helpful because it is not always easy to do what is appropriate when you have a husband who has an addiction problem. I am very sorry that life is so hard! May God help you a lot and guide you and be with you every day!

[Hidden]

If he is indeed an addict who won't even try to stop and get some help, and he can't/won't stick to any kind of work, then girl, cut your losses and move forward.

[cbgrace1980]

I'm sorry that you are in such a rough situation. I have not walked your path but I have been separated from my spouse and it was very difficult. I always think very highly of counseling as it has been a tremendous help for me. Thank you for sharing with us how you feel. We are here for you anytime you need.