Why can't I Just be Okay?

[MoldyPenny]

Hi friends, been a while since I've posted here but the last couple weeks have been hell for me emotionally and I don't honestly know why. From the outside, everything looks to be, and is, going in the right direction for once. I found a job I love, that pays so much better than any job I've ever had before. My relationship is going great. My future plans are starting to move forward, and I actually feel like the future is hopeful. So why do I still feel so inadequate?

I feel like I have imposter syndrome with this job, it's in a brand new field for me and I honestly don't even know how I got the job. I had exactly zero qualifications going into the interview, and yet somehow they chose me as their best candidate. It's even going well, I get along great with my coworkers and everyone is always telling me that I'm doing a great job. Yet somehow I'm still waiting for someone to pull me aside and tell me I messed up.

My relationship is going great, despite my colossal mistake a few months ago. Everything in that regard is exactly the way it should be, and yet I'm still wondering when he's going to tell me he found someone else. I've been having dreams for the last week where he cheats on me, or leaves me for someone else. He's not doing anything to make me believe any of this is actually happening, so why am I so worked up about it?

Why do I still get this twinge of anxiety when he wants to go out with his friends without me? Why do I still feel like I'm a bother to everyone around me, and no one actually wants me around? I was doing so well for a couple months, anxiety under control and just happy, and now I'm right back where I started.

[Megapanda]

Hello .Congratulations on your new job and I glad things are improving for you relationship wise and in general .

It's understandable to feel lost and unprepared in a new career . They choose you out of all the other candidates which means they see something in you . To be honest most people have doubts in themselves and their abilities and what ifs they something wrong e.c.t . Even the really confident people . It normally means that you care . And that you want to succeed .

When you picture yourself doing something wrong or making a mistake , think of the opposite version . Imagine yourself nailing it and being confident . Your outlook itself can be massively impact on how well a situation goes. And if it doesn't go well , instead of beating yourself up about it . Think of it has a learning opportunity and way of improving yourself . Everyone messes up that is how we learn and grow.

I am wondering if you still feel guilty about the mistake that you made ? . I am wondering what happened if you feel like sharing ( it's okay if you don't). Sometimes we project our fears / insecurities on to other people . If you feel that you done something wrong then obviously I need to be punished , my partner couldn't forgive me. He must be plotting something behind my back . But the truth is that you haven't forgiven yourself .

You definitely haven't gone backwards . Maybe you hit a bit of a road block , paths are not straightforward they go up and down and sometimes you take a different direction . This doesn't mean you failed , it just means your human .

🐼

[Rick1on1]

This kind of paranoia usually happens when you change meds or go off them. Has this happened?