Do you ever feel like you're doing everything wrong, even when you're not really doing anything wrong?

[Indiegal]

I've been feeling like this a lot for a year or maybe even more that everything I do is wrong or that I should have done things differently. I get excited to go out with friends or do things with family but then afterwards I get a negative feeling like I said something wrong or shouldn't have complained about things or just have that feeling for no particular reason in general.

A couple of examples...I went out with a friend I hadn't seen in awhile and made a passing comment that I don't see how it could be negative at all and he got defensive about it. He admitted he was probably just drunk and didn't understand and we quickly got passed it and were fine. But when I got home I just felt like crap. Then yesterday I thought it would be nice to go with my mom to take Christmas presents to a few of my family members. It was fine until one of my sisters got mad that we were going to go to my nephew's game before her house instead of after because it got late. Since she was mad and said her kids might not be there by then we just skipped my nephew's game. But she was pissy the whole time and didn't even appreciate we made that exception for them. And I honestly think we could have done both. But when I got home I just felt like crap about the whole thing and wished I never agreed to go since my original plan was to go to my nephew's game and I didn't even get to go to it. I started my own business this year and even though most of it has been going well, I question what I'm doing half the time.

I don't know if it's my confidence that's lacking or if isolation has caused me to question myself all the time or what else it could be. Does anyone else feel like this? Any advice on how to cope?

[Indiegal]

Haha! Good to feel I'm not alone in this feeling though.

[Indiegal]

I have felt like I have imposter syndrome at times. Would love to chat.

[Midori]

I think it's lack of confidence, and the feeling of guilt. There is no need for guilt; you have done nothing wrong. You can't legislate for other people's thoughts and sayings. Once something has left your mouth you can't recall it.

There is a little saying I use and find useful; 'Yesterday is History. Tomorrow is a Mystery. All we have is the Present, and that is a Gift.' It helps me not to worry about that which I cannot control.

Cheers, Midori

[Indiegal in reply to Midori]

Hi Midori! Thanks for your response and sorry it took me so long to reply. Long story but I had a bad situation with someone on here and avoided logging in for awhile. I like that quote and it's very helpful!

[Midori in reply to Indiegal]

That's absolutely fine. The occasional troll does make it through, unfortunately, had some trouble myself a few weeks back, but they've been dealt with by Admin.

Cheers, Midori

[dogsandfishing]

I've been feeling like that a lot lately. I'm still trying to find ways to cope with it. I try to help or fix something and it always seems to backfire. I didn't always used to feel this way. I used to be pretty confident. I like helping people, but lately I just want to be left alone because I'm tired of being rejected.

[Indiegal in reply to dogsandfishing]

I feel the same way. I just feel in the way anymore, even when I try to help. I feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. I know my post was awhile ago (and so was your response), but I'm still feeling this same way. I hope you're feeling better now though.

[Darklight_465]

hey Maybe therapy can help!! You didn't do nothing wrong I know it may feel like it but your trying your best to make ends meet. I can see you overthink it a lot. I myself am an overthinker and replay my conversation with people multiple times. I probably said something wrong or did something wrong where in many cases the other person does not think much of it. But im here if you need advice, wanna vent or just need a friend. bes wishes, Joss

[Indiegal in reply to Darklight_465]

Yes, I do agree I need therapy. And yes, I overthink everything. I guess you understand that since you do too. I've actually been struggling with finding a therapist that my insurance covers that is reliable. I went to a local university that offers discounted therapy from grad students and it was frustrating. I felt like I was his first patient and I was just helping him with his homework and he didn't know what he was doing. Plus he wasn't reliable. I've only been able to see him once in the last 6 weeks because he keeps canceling so I had to end it today. I just found out my insurance offers telehealth therapy so I'm going to try that next. It's just frustrating having to start over with a new therapist again.