I had an unfortunate run-in at the grocery store today. The curbside pickup delivery person startled me by knocking on my window and I got scared. Another worker nearby accused me of being a "d***" so I called him an "a******" in return.
It's completely not like me. I've long defaulted to being a nice person to strangers. But living in the US and seeing COVID denialism, anti-vaccine sentiments and just general hostility to our core values (democracy, protecting the environment, treating people of all races with respect) be so common has thrown my ability to be nice completely out of whack. I find myself wishing a lot more ill on a lot more people than I ever used to.
As I drove away from the grocery store, I cried and shouted to myself and was just confused as to what I've become. Being mean was painful and it felt like it wasn't me doing it. But it seems to have gone hand-in-hand with me losing sympathy for a lot of people. Sometimes when this happens I feel like I'm losing touch with myself and my sense of community (it hasn't been an issue with friends and loved ones, but thinking about people writ large.)
Has anyone else dealt with a similar change with the stress of the pandemic? How have you addressed it?
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yankeesguy
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For sure. I’m lucky I live in a county with a mask mandate right now. They don’t have a choice. I noticed police presence in some of the stores I shop. You know masks really do work and when you are outside you are very safe. It really isn’t worth letting them bother you. It is more important to take care of yourself. Let the the government deal with them and they are…by end of January I wager we will have insurance paid in home tests and the ability to get a subscription to cure us if we do get sick. This is a really big deal. Instead turn that energy into helping with the next election. It is really important. Today I was in container store in the next county which is very anti mask. I made some comment. The sales person smiled and said “they don’t have Covid in x county!” This is someone who works with these anti maskers all day long. laugh it off a bit.
Oh my goodness, YES!!! There is a reason that so much of our research over the last 2 years has focused on disconnecting from the news, from social media, etc. We are not meant to be bombarded with constant negativity and fear. As humans our biology isn't intended to handle that level of omnipresent stress. In addition, compassion fatigue is very real and very normal. It can get to a point at which we feel like we're ready to snap.
The truth is, if we don't recognize our need to take space and stillness, we likely will snap (i.e., have a mental breakdown, yell at someone, act in a way we aren't proud of). The way to deal with this is to find a coping mechanism that allows your mind and body to recharge. This could be anything (for some its art, for others, a weekend in the woods or otherwise in nature, for others it could be a weekend yoga retreat, a friends weekend, or spending time helping children or animals). Only you know what helps you feel centered and connected again.
Try to recognize when you feel like you're nearing your breaking point. Realize that this is your body trying to tell you to take care of yourself; be kind and show yourself a little nurturing. Forgive your body and mind for acting in a way that you didn't like. It likely came from a primal place (that fight or flight response) - and it was trying to protect you. Understand that it will be engaged anytime you feel cornered and stressed to that extent. Thank this part of you for trying to save you from harm, even if you need to have a conversation about how to react in the future. You didn't do an unforgivable thing. You did a human thing. Take some time to understand where it came from, why it happened; learn what you can to avoid getting to that place in the future, resolve to be better, and forgive yourself.
I think that my anxiety has got up since people aren’t wearing masks I have gotten COVID last week and it made me angry because people arent protecting people and not wearing masks ugh I could ramble about it all day 😤
Yes this is very familiar to me. It’s giving me a short fuse and less patience. I just cut out the news again this morning because it just makes it worse. Everyone gets on my one remaining intact nerve! I’m going to concentrate on myself and my environment more and let everything else take a rest to preserve my sanity. I’m
I hope gillyflower can cut out the news! I can't since I work in it for a job. I'm one of those people who dealt with burnout for a while but switching jobs helped, although I still wonder if it would be easier or harder for me to turn off news if I wasn't working in it!
Someone was nasty to you and you gave an equal response back. I think that's fine, and healthy as long as you are not the instigator (which you weren't). It would be different if you had physically attacked the person, but you didn't. Good response. Don't worry.
I appreciate the attempt to help. My job requires me to figure out what is true and what is false. I have no reason to lie to you about any of this. Scientific studies have repeatedly shown masks work. Vaccines work incredibly well at slowing transmission and preventing severe illness and death. Science changes quickly and we're gaining a greater understanding of the virus every day, which is where the need for more doses comes from. People not getting vaccinated in the U.S. and around the world have led to new variants and hundreds of thousands of needless deaths. From the very start, we knew vaccines help both yourself and your community. It is hard for me to understand willfully engaging in harming oneself and others. That's exactly the kind of behavior this board is here to prevent. Even with your deeply held beliefs, my anger isn't even really with you. I care about you and your well being. My anger is with the people responsible for lying to you and making you and many others believe that steps to protect you and your community are hurtful.
I’ll have to give stoicism a look. I promise you the other stuff I told you about is not a thing to agree or disagree on. It’s a matter of fact proven by the miracles of modern science (that you might even say are given to us by God to protect ourselves and others.) Wishing you the same love and light!
You experienced and expressed anger. That is a normal human emotion. So try not to be too hard on yourself. The last two years have been very tough on everyone. So many people are experiencing anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration, and despair at levels they are not accustomed to. Your outburst does not make you a bad person.
It's best not to suppress our emotions. Maybe you can find some outlet for the anger that has been building. Physical exercise helps. But even sitting with those emotions and allowing them and experiencing them is good.
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