Last time i was so scared that i escaped to university accomodation. There i'm trying to cope with roommates. We have a new one, That's really loud and my old roommate likes her more than me. The other one is bringing her boyfriend and friends all the time. I'm just in my room, sleeping all day, without eating , lost track of time. I visited a doc here, he just gave me more Clonasepam.
The problem is yesterday mom sais to me and sis to celebrate Christmas with dad. Dad has new family, he won't want us. Neither mom nor dad want us. I'm traumatized as hell but what i worry about is traumatizing my little Sister. She doesn't deserve this. Moreover granma defended mom even though granma wants us for Christmas and mom just wanted to get rid of us. I was the one to constantly care about granma and she thinks i'm the bad guy because i raised my voice. Mom's drunk and asleep and doesn't give a damn about granma. But no. I'm the bad for having emotions. Meanwhile this mf dad gave me his PhD article in veterinary medicine to translate and write in English. And when i couldn't because i'm traumatized as hell and sleeping all day because of the clonopin, he gave it to sis. Gave his PhD medicine dissertation to a 14yo to write in English! She had homeworks and was tired so i told her to send it to me and i would write it today because yesterday i was upset. I wrote it today instead of being in my own university classes and the deadline was today so he sent his full of spelling mistakes work. Also sis wanted him to visit her but he said "Denitsa is sick, i can't". Fucking Denitsa is the stepmother. Sorry If it's too much, just the story why i'm losing it