Breakdown: I had an anxiety attack. I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Breakdown

20 Replies

I had an anxiety attack. I was breaking down. I called my friend to just cry. My friend didn’t care. He was the last person who I can rely on. I tried with 6 others before and failed. For the entire world I am just drama, but I swear on everything I believe in, It’s so hard. It’s extremely painful to go through this all alone.No matter how hard I try, How hard I tell myself all the tips and do and don’ts of a breakdown during anxiety and depression. At that moment of breakdown, none of them seems good enough. I just feel so alone, so lonely. Like no one is there to tell me “I am okay”. I just need one person that I trusted in my life to understand my pain and tell me “you are okay, this will pass, I am here for you”. That’s all. I think I can fight the world with just that. And I lack that. No matter how many times I hold myself and tell the same, It’s not the same. I just need one support. One emotional support. Life’s problems all seem manageable just with that one line of comfort from someone you trust. I don’t even think I am asking a lot. I am just so lonely. And it hurts everywhere that People don’t stand up for me or with me.

20 Replies
Emmajean45 profile image
Emmajean45

You will be ok it does feel lonely and you think people don’t understand ,I think that sometimes but they just don’t know what to say especially if they haven’t been though it, sending you big hug 🤗

in reply to Emmajean45

Thank you. Even I don’t know what to say most of the times. It’s like a whole emotion inside me but No words. But Idk, I could just use a friend maybe without being felt like I am a burden or just unnecessary drama in people’s lives.

hypercat54 profile image
hypercat54 in reply to

Have you told your friends and loved ones how you would like them to behave? I ask this because many don't understand anxiety and don't know what to say for the best. This makes them feel uncomfortable so they tend to avoid it entirely. You can't expect others to be mind readers so try telling them what you need.

in reply to hypercat54

Actually I did, 4 of them turned their backs on me and 3 of them are overseas. 7 of my most trusted people (including my own siblings) , always been there for me up till now. I guess not everyone is blessed to have a support.

Amandasullivan12 profile image
Amandasullivan12 in reply to

U have us now 🤗 most of us on here understand exactly how u feel and I’m sure a lot will agree that does feel very lonely trapped in your own mind with all the negative thoughts and feelings that we can’t quite seem to escape from trust me I get it

in reply to Amandasullivan12

Thank you so much! I am here for you too if you need. We’re in this together, holding out our backs.

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2dance in reply to

Some people will never understand..my mom says ur punishing me , or get rod out of your butt, when I am having a moment.. Even though she has mood swings... Like people choose this.. You can try to work through it, but it's like I'm sorry my health is bothering you.. It's unfortunate when it's people who are close to you.. I had more support from random people than the ones in my close circle.. Everyone here are amazing beautiful strong people.

Hollick profile image
Hollick

I'm sorry your experiencing this mental pain..I think it's the time of year that is adding to it all, the holidays approaching.Many of us are suffering with loneliness, its awful. Thinking of you and keeping you in prayer..hugs, please take care..

in reply to Hollick

I agree. But this too shall pass. Thank you. Happy Holidays to you. I wish you good luck and good health. Sending love.

cbgrace1980 profile image
cbgrace1980

I am so sorry you are going through this. I feel very lonely at times as well. Have you talked with a doctor recently about how you are feeling? I see a counselor as well and she has helped me tremendously. Feel free to vent on here anytime you want. We are here for you. You are important! Even though you may not feel like it, you are. Big hugs to you!!!

in reply to cbgrace1980

Yes, I am in touch with my therapist too. I feel much better after speaking to her. Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot.

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2dance

Feel free to send me a message anytime

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2dance

It is definitely hard... I'm surrounded by people but feel alone, when people don't understand what you are going through it makes it worse.. Sometimes I cry in the shower.. Sometimes when I get up I feel like I am on fire... Achy and sick.. I begged to get help.. My mom is all take an antidepressant and get fat or I'll put you away.. Ironically I am eating my feelings now because the only safe place I have is this site.

in reply to Lve2dance

I can understand what you are going through too. I can say a lot of things but I think we just need to accept the fact that we have people who can understand us, just not the people we thought would do initially and it sucks! I know damn right! It sucks. But We got no choice in this issue, people come and go. Sometimes walk all over you. But there’s always someone who will love to hear our ups and downs and live with us our most diasastrous moments. I think we just have to light a candle for ourselves until someone walks with us and holds it to the end of the tunnel. Much love. We’re all here together. Let’s do our best.

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2dance in reply to

💋 😘 Some days all I need is a hug.. I'm I touch centric person.. I need to hold certain items not just pictures.. I journal so I can hold in certain memories and go back especially when I am sad. When I lose those it makes me even sadder. And I go in mental circles.. I have a busy job.,. I keep busy at home but I can't shut my mind off.. I try to set a, timer to move on but it affects me in my life

in reply to Lve2dance

I do the same things too. It’s like if your brain is not busy, your thoughts run amok. And yeah, not just you. I think everyone needs a hug. We need it more often because we fight with ourselves everyday. And it’s not something you should even ask for. I think I have been forever waiting for a person who will give me just a hug and breathe slowly with me and say “I am okay” . That’s all, That’s the secret to all your problems. But more often than not, we do it to ourselves and I like to believe that it’s going to end soon. So, next time you feel this way, just remember Someone here understands what you want and you’re not alone.

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2dance in reply to

I really appreciate it.. My friend I used to see pre pandemic was awesome in person for that.. We would like sync our breath when we hugged.. It was like a natural high.. I did not know how much it helped me until It stopped. My mom is like what do you see in him.. Other than nice.. He was good for me.. He got me through things.. I would be even worse... I wish I could stop obsessing over what is gone.. Getting mental pictures in my head on loop. Since I am not allowed to talk to a professional I do not know how to not do it.. Or if it's normal occasionally.. So I get more anxiety and depression.. I tried to tell her my mind is racing she said I'm not a genius.. I get overwhelmed for no reason.. Instead of her trying to help me she puts me down or yells

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2dance in reply to

... Work is my safe place but even there my mind is everywhere else.. I can't focus.. Some days I feel physically ill.. I tried the breathing and visualizing.. Etc... But I can't let go in my mind.. I tried cbd gummies but I was just really out of it and tired. So not optimal during the day. 2 years ago I could deal with more... But I lost my best friend.. And certain things that have meaning to me.. My mom still has hers.. It's years of this happening I ignored.. It just snowballed. I lost it at my check up when the doctor asked how I was doing. Because I felt like nobody really cared

Lve2dance profile image
Lve2dance in reply to

.. Or says grow up.. When I am stressed out I can't talk because My brain is off kilter.. So she yells at me and gets in my face.. Call me lazy and said I need a speech therapist.. I need a regular therapist. I found this site looking for free help.. Not because I can't afford it but because I have no support here

Haha! Right back at ya!

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