How do you talk to normal people?

[argh52]

I want to talk to the (very few) friends in my life, but all I have to talk about is my misery and despair. It's ok to lean on friends when you need to, but it's been like, years and I don't want to be nothing but a negative drain. Also, I can't really make small talk about my life. So how do you talk to normal people?

[Nina2016]

I know that! It’s hard because I don’t like to make small talk or talk about things that don’t matter to me or I don’t care about. I’m a deep thinker and introverted so fake conversation are draining. One way to connect is to make other people talk by asking them questions. How’s their life?

Another good option is to talk about subjects that you like - could be nature, your pets, a good meal you had etc. sometimes I practice working up ideas and subjects befor I go to a party. So I have some stuff ready and I don’t panic. Other ones I just stay quiet and let others do the talking.

On this website you can talk about anything that matters and get support. I care and peeps on this site care so share away we are here 🌼

[Expo123]

I feel exactly the same way. I am in such a deep depression right now and it's really hard to avoid being a downer when you talk to your friends. What I try to do is shift the focus off of myself and ask people how they are doing. People usually like to have someone to listen to them and it pulls me out of my own head space for awhile. Maybe this can work for you too. You are not alone in feeling the way you do. Sending you my wishes for strength, courage and much better days ahead.

[argh52 in reply to Expo123]

When I do talk to them, we usually talk entirely about them and not at all about me. I don't like that. I want to share but I have no idea what.

[Downandout123 in reply to argh52]

I was going to respond by telling you to ask them questions and make small talk like that. But with you saying that the conversation is always about them anyway, and you don't know what to talk about, I completely get it. If I'm not depressed and whining about my life, I have nothing good to talk about. So I understand.

[Expo123]

Can you simply share with them that you're having a really hard time or have you done that already and you're worried about doing it too often? I tell my friends that and sometimes even apologize and tell them I'm afraid of being a downer because my depression has been going on for so long. They are usually very understanding and supportive. Just having someone accept you as you are, and not turn away from you, even if they don't know what to do to help, can sometimes make a difference.

[argh52 in reply to Expo123]

Yeah, they all know that my life is a dumpster fire and big picture what's going on with me. I just don't want to be a constant downer. That is not why these people became friends with me. And it's not that I'm concerned that they'll like, stop talking to me. I just want to be able to share w/ them the way they share with me, ya know?

[Expo123 in reply to argh52]

Yeah I totally get it. My friends are always telling me about things they are involved in, places they went on the weekend, new jobs, plans, etc. I just want to be able to have something to share with them. Some kind of exciting news or even just a small thing. I really connected with your message because it was like you were writing it about me. I wish I could be of more help but I hope you at least know that you're not alone in feeling this way.

[fauxartist]

Fake it till you make it was what I was told....but believe me ... abnormal is the new normal. Just be yourself and don't worry about it. Everyone worry's about saying the right thing in a social situation...but there's no manual on it...so just do your own thing. Finding people with similar interests always helps, we all have our niche...you'll find yours.

[Nina2016]

I don’t have much of a life outside of work so I just talk about work. I don’t like talking to people about my sadness if they can’t give empathy or hold space. It makes me feel worse to talk about my struggles when someone dismissed them. I find it better to talk to someone who cares about my troubles. Usually that is someone I pay 🤣🥲

[Against_the_current]

Don't judge yourself and don't pressure yourself to fit into their bubblegum bubbles. I'm like you and i went through hell so i don't mind some silly little Normies hating on me (most of them don't even care). I see them posting normal stories, selfies, clubs etc. And my stories are vents, mental Breakdowns, thoughts, depression memes and awareness posts. And i'm a bit ashamed tbh, espessially when they ask what the hell i'm doing. But i'm actually not afraid of them, i'm envious of them. And i see no shame of going deep, real, authentic instead of sugar coated. And it breaks the stigma. It's brave. Espessially when in my life i have nothing else to talk about but misery. You're valid. You're not negative or burden and If someone dares to tell you this, tell me 😅