Control your thoughts. or they will control you.

[gerrerd]

All is thought !

[Missy1948]

That's what my therapist says. He's into Acceptance and Commitment therapy. I've been seeing him a couple years now, and still don't really get it. I'll say I "feel" something, feel down, afraid, etc. And he says "it's just a thought." True. But somethings I can't just accept the feeling and move on. I want to make progress -- feel BETTER!

[gerrerd in reply to Missy1948]

The only way to understand it is, everything is thought you create your reality with your thoughts, so if you realise that you can start to work on changing the thoughts as they come up ! So when a thought of old ways come up catch it think this is just a thought that leeds to anxiety, depression, say im not following it, and think I can think everything is ok because its just a thought ! I will change it to im in control not a repeat thought,

[Blueruth in reply to Missy1948]

Moving on sometimes is healthy. Contrary to the post we all have feelings and thoughts we don't expect. Maybe we feel guilty or ashamed about them. It is human. Majority of people have thought of killing someone. Obviously the majority do not do it. It is just a thought. Letting it go is about self regulation and acceptance. Just because you have a thought or feeling doesn't mean it is rooted in reality. You only have the information that is in front of you and your brain can lie. If you have trauma it can definitely lie. Learning self resilience doesn't come naturally. It is learned through practice and self knowledge. You CAN learn it. I don't care for this quote.

[gerrerd in reply to Blueruth]

Ive lived it, gone through it, al what you say come out the other end ! and this is my conclusion, dont be a critic give us some answers my dear.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Missy1948]

Fear and sadness are emotions not thoughts.

🐬

[Blueruth in reply to Dolphin14]

Grounded in thoughts which might be your mind lying. Or not.

[Dolphin14 in reply to Blueruth]

Or not.... correct

[Blueruth]

Literally everyone has thoughts they can't control. Most people have thoughts about hurting or killing someone but they do not do it. Imagine if the subject or police knew that. That is why they are private. Meditation teaches us to that thoughts come up all the time and to acknowledge it and let it pass. Sometimes it brings up emotions you need to deal with, sometimes it is just noise. All is not thought. Your thoughts are a culmination of your entire life to that point. Your brain can lie. That is why self resilience training teaches you to check those thoughts before letting it get too far. That doesn't mean you should dismiss them.

Once again this is a single sentence taken out of context without any effort or thought taken to explain what it means to you. This isn't facebook.

[gerrerd in reply to Blueruth]

Tell me something you can do without a thought !

[gerrerd in reply to Blueruth]

I can explain it as I do it and it works ! 50 plus years learning and practicing to be able do it ! face book could with this advice my dear.

[Blueruth in reply to gerrerd]

"without a thought"? You totally didn't read my comment. You also interpreted the quote in a way that i didn't. I don't see where it says everything is driven by thought. What did you explain? That demonstrates why not putting any thought into your posts is not helpful. From my interactions I would say you got another 50 years... my dear.

[gerrerd in reply to Blueruth]

I like you

[gerrerd in reply to Blueruth]

Your so positive and encouraging

[gerrerd in reply to Blueruth]

Ive more than 50 years of learning to do its eternal. never stop learning, who ever thinks they have nothing to learn, and thinks they are right all the time is a idiot !!!!

[Dolphin14]

Emotions and thoughts are two different things.

❤️🐬

[gerrerd in reply to Dolphin14]

Thoughts evoke emotions, its your thinking that produces the emotion, in my thinking, im not always right but its just the way I see it x

[Dolphin14 in reply to gerrerd]

Ok if that's how you see it then that's your opinion which is fine we all have our own.

You can google difference between thought and emotion and see another perspective

❤️🐬

[CarlJames in reply to gerrerd]

I beg to differ, gerrerd. Thoughts are random and often meaningless. They create the mischief. Our feelings are pure and are what we need to connect with. It is our thoughts about how we feel: "I feel terrible", "I hate my anxiety" etc. that keep us in the anxiety state. Our emotions don't cause our suffering. It is our reaction to, and thoughts about, our feelings that cause our suffering.

[Dolphin14 in reply to CarlJames]

Well said!

🐬

[gerrerd in reply to CarlJames]

Hate fear anxiety, can be released by your thinking ! when we release all ! we can work with pure thoughts they are only random when we have no control over them, people cant grasp this because they are unable to control them, I have control of mine most of the time now ! delving into the bad things that bring up bad emotions is like having a pile of manure behind you and keep going back playing with it and jumping into it, thats my thinking on it !

[CarlJames in reply to gerrerd]

Well we come from different directions entirely. "Control" is the last thing I want to do, because this is "fighting", and exhausting. It might work for mild anxiety or mild depression - the run of the mill stuff that everyone experiences. It might even work *temporarily* for someone who suffers from severe and chronic anxiety or depression. But in my experience when a setback hits, our attempts to control are simply overwhelmed, and we are just left anxious, depressed, and exhausted.

I lived this cycle my whole adult life until I learned that instead of trying to control, change or suppress my anxiety with CBT, positive thinking or affirmations, I learned to face and allow it and accept it instead. What a relief that change was. I was no longer in a constant battle to control things, but allowing my mind and body to do what it wanted to and needed to do naturally. And, over time, the anxiety faded away because I was no longer engaging with it or with the anxious thoughts. I didn't try to control them, but simply ignored them, didn't engage with them.

In summary I recovered by ignoring my thoughts and feeling my feelings.

Anyway, as I said, we see things very differently.

[Dolphin14 in reply to CarlJames]

I agree we need to feel our feelings. Each emotion shows up for a different reason. Every emotion we have is a part of us. We have many parts. Sure the mind can take over and make us spin things a bit. But if you can't deal with whatever you are feeling you can't clear the mind. That's my take on it.

Through therapy I have learned to embrace my feelings. They are mine.... a part of me. In my particular therapy the brain is not allowed in the room. There are no thinking parts welcome. If thoughts come in they cover the feelings.

I def agree with what you wrote

🐬

[CarlJames in reply to Dolphin14]

Your therapy sounds spot on to me. I agree, it is all about learning how to experience even the most intense and so-called unpleasant emotions without resistance. When we can do that, they no longer frighten us, and we can allow them. When we go through the storm willingly, we come out the other side with a freedom and peace unlike anything else.

As you say, the feelings are there for a reason. We need to honor them. The anxious thoughts? Meh. They are just ramblings of a tired, frightened mind. We just don't engage with them, and they fade away eventually.

[gerrerd in reply to CarlJames]

I think im a few steps ahead of you, my thoughts are along the lines of the guru,s etc there are many stages to enlightenment !

[CarlJames in reply to gerrerd]

Haha. Perhaps. Or maybe a few steps behind

🙂

[gerrerd in reply to Dolphin14]

I worked on releasing all the emotional stuff still do I had to clear everything out to get to a point were my thinking could gain control.

[Dolphin14 in reply to gerrerd]

But don't you have emotional stuff that happens to you now? What do you do with that? You can't think it away can you. Don't you have to feel it first?

[gerrerd in reply to CarlJames]

Ive been in the same place for decades I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 1990, but had it from 1971. months on end unable to move many many times, but with no help back then only tabs, I started to use self help programs etc, now Im free of depression for several years, I do the work on my thinking and mind everyday !

[Dolphin14 in reply to gerrerd]

I know this is directed to Carl but I'm depression free also. I am a very emotionally sensitive, insecure @ times person. I get sad I get scared. I can't think those away when someone hurts me.

[gerrerd in reply to Dolphin14]

There are many paths to freedom, as long as they work thats ok x

[CarlJames in reply to gerrerd]

I'm free of it too, without any need to work on controlling thoughts. I just surrender to my feelings.

[gerrerd in reply to CarlJames]

very good well done

[Dolphin14]

Agree 100%

🐬