60 year old failure

[depressedguy]

I feel like I have failed at almost everything in my life. Does anyone have suggestions for how I might get over this depressing feeling?

[Hidden]

Try easy things and do little by little and ask for tuition or someone’s help. There is nothing wrong with using family or friends or neighbours or colleagues

[depressedguy in reply to Hidden]

I do pretty well with the little things. I fail at the big things like jobs and relationships.

[Dolphin14]

When we are depressed we forget the things we did right. We only seem to remember the things we did wrong.

I just read your bio. You have overcome a lot. Don't let depression take away the positives from all the hard work you have done.

🐬

[notanotter in reply to Dolphin14]

This!! Maybe you could have done better at some things, but maybe you did the best you could at the time, or you did better at something else. I try to think about the times I did overcome something or did pretty well.

[depressedguy in reply to Dolphin14]

Thank you for the words of encouragement

[Hidden]

What are you classing successful to be if you feel you have failed? Think you have a lot to be proud of from what you have achieved from your bio!!

[Midori]

Hi there,

Do you mean jobs wise, relationship wise or something similar?

Cheers, Midori

[depressedguy in reply to Midori]

Yes, I have failed at most jobs and most relationships.

[WickNeo]

I think feeling like a failure and actually failing are things people with depression struggle with. Our perceptions are skewed because our bodies are chemically out of balance. Therapy, medication, sunlight, some form of exercise all may help, but realizing that your depression is talking to you is key for me. Uncovering the healthy person buried under years of negative self talk is hard. Just know that it’s there, waiting for you in the back of your mind under the guilt, self loathing and fear. Good luck on your journey and know there are others on that path with you.

[depressedguy in reply to WickNeo]

Thanks for the encouragement.

[Beholy]

What you have accomplished with your addiction is definitely a plus! you have to be thankful and be proud of yourself, 😊

[depressedguy in reply to Beholy]

I'm not good at being grateful - I definitely think that is one of my problems.

[Hidden]

Could you be on autism spectrum?

[depressedguy in reply to Hidden]

Possibly, but I don't think so. Psychologists and psychiatrists have never suggested that.

[Opportunity]

Your life is at a turning point. I have learned to think of my depressions as a mini-game-over. A reset. Something is shifting in the universe for your benefit. The depression won’t last.

You have a unique purpose that is yours to figure out. But until you accept that, and run with it, you’ll feel driven to achieve rather than to be. You don’t need a job or a relationship to have value. In fact, for some people (think hermits or spiritual advisors), their whole life purpose involves an ‘alternative’ focus and relies on charity from neighbors.

Is there anything you can think about, from your past, that you enjoyed doing — even if it got you into trouble or got negative attention? Anything you’d do while no one was watching? Something you now feel you’ve had to sacrifice to maintain social connections? Maybe it’s telling certain stories or building blocks or organizing the spice drawer or asking people tons of intrusive questions or riding bikes. Maybe it’s standing on top of a mountain or holding your breath underwater for a long time. It’s probably a part of you you’ve long disowned. Is there anything you can remember like that? There’s something you find “fun” that not many others do. Finding or remembering what that is, may be a key to getting over this depressing feeling.

[depressedguy in reply to Opportunity]

My favorite thing to do is sleep, but that is totally unproductive. I currently sleep about 18 hours per day on weekends. I used to really like to drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes but those also have a lot of negative consequences. That's off the top of my head - I'll have to give more thought to your questions.