I have suffered with depression, suicidal tendencies and self harm since I was a child. I have been in and out of mental health facilities my whole life, and I have gotten better but also relapsed several times. It seems right when everything appears to be going okay, it comes crashing down. I feel like no matter what I get pulled back into this downward spiral. I have never been free from pain, even when I have been happy. It feels like the most hideous kind of morose has contaminated my blood, that the sadness flows through every single vein. Yeah, it often feels like that; like the entirety of me is encompassed in melancholy. But, I am still here. I am still here and I did not think I would be. I guess it is an achievement that I have lived and my heart keeps beating and I keep breathing despite it all. I am still alive.
Still here : I have suffered with... - Anxiety and Depre...
Still here
Your words are very beautiful. I suggest you write poetry it may make you feel better.
I was where you are at 25. I can relate. So much pain! It took me many years to finally find the right help. When I began to understand that there is nothing innately wrong with me (God who is good made us good) I began to heal. I carried so much shame for my behavior. People judged me harshly for the self harm. My family members & friends thought I was looking for attention.😔They didn't understand the depth of my pain & self hatred. I understand & have great empathy for you. Don't give up hope. There is healing from all of this. Keep reaching out.💕
Me too. I started my own journey in my mid 20's and have got to a place I never dared dream of. It is a vast improvement to my 20's I can tell you.
Your story is a sad one, but eloquently written. Your user name brought to mind the book, The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. Any connection? A sad story, too.
Yes, I read the book in my adolescence and I related to it more than anything. I have used it as a username since. It feels a lot like me...thank you for your reply.
Thank you very much Leon. I do feel so touched and welcomed by all these comments.