Me, the first day of going off benzos was a success and better than I imagined I found peace and joy during although at times it was very difficult. So I am grateful to have made it through that day snd into day two I pray will go easier.
I am grateful to have met a bird who we met yesterday at our doorstep who we called PEACE it was so peaceful with us. I think it had a concussion and we had time with it giving water and strawberry while recovering and then sent it on its way back into the wild when it was ready. It’s a yellow-breasted chat.
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Starrlight
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I am grateful for the groups of people l joined on ZOOM here in Ireland over the past year- mental health peers and Creative Writing. Thes combined with HU are great support
Thank you Jo it’s already quite an adventure mostly full of peace and joy but also times of pain and struggle but I am definitely determined and confident that I can do it. How are you?
Hi Starrlight I am doing okay. I just starting a journey with my first ever antidepressant. Sertaline. I suddenly started having anxiety attacks about a month ago. Feeling more positive after conversation with Dr about what might have triggered it all. Hopefully the only way is up from this point.
Hi Starrlight, Well done to you for being thoughtful about the medication change and thank you for the good news bird story 👍Are you going cold turkey or tapering off? I have read & read that going cold turkey can be pretty challenging. All the best from Australia 🦘
I am grateful for keeping myself somewhat together the last several days in a very challenging situation. Love the shore, love my husband and children but feel unsafe whenever I am around my in-laws. So glad you found something to help you get through yesterday. Each day will be better.
Awww 🥰 sending love to you so sorry to hear you feel unsafe with in-laws. I wonder what kinds of things you have found or can find to help you during those challenging times. For me I am distracted by my don needing me at virtual school all day then whenever a craving or anxiety comes I take a drink of water. I drank a LOT of water yesterday maybe too much not joking 🙃 but I’m serious maybe find something to do with your hands while around them - like my therapist gets up snd does dishes when she can’t stand her family members behavior and I’m thinking there’s a girl I know who did cross stitch .... whatever you can find that works for you.... best to you
I go outside and sit for awhile. Maybe take a few photos. I brought my crochet needle and some yarn. Still trying to find a good comfortable spot to sit and do that. Last night I went to the bedroom. Watched some TV and patterned. Went up and down a few times to make it look as if I was busy doing things. Managing for now.
Hello Mrspjsmom. I enjoy crochet too. Are you working on anything simple enough for me to try out? (I have trouble with my hands if I use smaller hooks.) What a great escape!
Wow! That always amazes me! How you did it is amazing! My best friend who I’ve known since kindergarten is a single mom and she kicks ass and I think- how? YOU ARE AWESOME DIVINE POWER IS AWESOME
That is such a sweet little bird, how fortunate it was to have found you. Sending it back into the wild will always be a beautiful memory for you and your family.
I am grateful that I was able to make it through a benzo withdrawal. One single day at a time. Yesterday was good for you. Today is the only day that matters, you've got this Starrlight.
Oh, as usual, I am so very grateful for HU and for you, your thoughtful posts always help me. 💗
Snow days, thank you; your post is a gift to me. Yesterday and this morning I was doing well. When 10:45 hit, I am now so troubled that I am just amazingly in need of any help encouragement positive distractions calming stuff I can get. You are a breath of fresh air for me. I’ve been helping my forth grader at virtual school and it’s stressful because he is upset most of the time and I am patient with him but it’s a lot to do and a lot on my plate in general in life. Thanks for being here.
You are welcome, Starrlight. We are all here for each other. 💗
When I was tapering from clonazepam I would go for long walks. My walks were purposely in busy parts of the neighborhood, this would help me to distract from myself and how I was feeling.
I cannot even begin to count the number of cups of Chamomile tea that I drank, sometimes with two teabags per cup, especially in the evening hours. It may have been all in my head, but it worked to calm the jitters and help me sleep. If it was all in my head, who cares, it worked.
Other than that, I just took it one day at a time, some were not so good, some were not so bad. The only way out is through, as they say. Having your children to school and all of the countless other items on your plate are, in my very humble opinion, good distractions.
I'm glad your in a good space, that's a great accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself for that... I love the birdy story...it's what makes us human, by having compassion for those around us, including our animal friends. We can't finish up the last bit of clean up from the work we are doing because we have a hedgehog who has decided to hibernate in the wood pile, and has been collecting nesting material, and eating all the snails to fatten up for the winter....so the wood pile is going to have to wait.
I am so thrilled to have this endangered species safe and sound in our country garden. I am really hoping for little 'Hoglets', as they are called, next spring... so we are already devising a plan to keep the hedgehog den, but kind of spruce up the outside of it once she comes out of hibernation. This little critter has cleaned up our snail problem big time, and hoping for some more of them next year. We had swallows return this last summer too, and of course they built their nest in our garage that we were going to re-furbish, so that is now on hold.
When we had a heat wave here we noticed the little baby's a bit stressed so we hung a fan to cool them during the day, and it worked ... now they have all left the next, we just saw the mom and dad and three grown chicks lined up on our phone line outside and they went off to winter over elsewhere. We also have an on going issue with starlings that keep managing to get up into our attic. And every year when they are ready to leave the nest it sounds like the 'Irish River Dancers' over our heads....but...that's nature and I'm glad we care...Ohhh...and don't get me started on the two brat mocking bird chicks trying to go fishing in our pond...yeah.... that was a trial of patience. But they too grew up and have moved on. We are short a few baby fish though, but...our fishy shenanigans will start up in the spring and we will have new babies.
Using the fan on them is so thoughtful and awesome of you!!! AwwwHoglets !!!!! What are starlings? I’ll look them up. Wow! The amount of nature you have is so cool for you! I love it 🥰
I love Stars little birdy sitting on her finger, it shows how nature is healing a bit I think. I hope we all stop and smell the roses and realize nature is as much a part of our lives and happiness.
She's a cute little critter, comes out at night and roots around, her little refuge is right outside our back bedroom window which faces the back field, and she is quite a character. She's noisy and makes little noises as she waddles around looking for bugs and snails.
HU is getting weird. It won't let me "like' your post. Oh well.
What a victory! That's quite an achievement Starrlight. 👍 I know (too well) how hard it is to get there.
Your picture is a stunner. (Just a coincidence, but I like it.) I found an Audubon link explaining how to protect our bird friends from potentially fatal collisions.
The hard part. Really hard for me, so I really appreciate you reminding us:
I am grateful that even though there is a bad storm today, my body isn't putting me through hell. Confused, but grateful. I don't like when things aren't predictable, so it's weird I don't hurt. Am I one confused lady, or what?
What is Kiev? Yes I think he/she was . Maybe he/she will visit some day. Once I let me moms doves out of the cage ‘by mistake’ haha 😆 (no mistake; they shouldn’t be caged I thought at that time I recall) and I would see them cross our skies occasionally for years after (as white doves are easy to distinguish around here)
Your food looks professional 😂 if that makes sense,... like perfect like it could be in recipe books oooooooh it’s google ok maybe you will show yours some time so I can see the real thing I don’t know why like compare them for fun... ok I’m tired obviously I’m to bed have a good night ✨ 🌙 or morning to you 🌞
Thats a very good sign ,lovely bird too,hopefully the rest of your days gaining freedom from benzos will be similiar--im still dependant ,though on a very moderate dose!
It makes me so happy that you say our bird helping is a very good sign. Yes peace ☮️ the bird brought peace and I think being off benzos will bring me peace. That’s ok that you are on them. I know so many people who are doing great on them. I was on them because I needed them. I don’t think I want them anymore at this point in life. Its so good it’s a moderate dose. I know a good friend who took a high dose for 20 some years and just decided to get off and she describes it as being sick for 2 weeks then less of a zombie ... for me it’s very different I’ve been on a small amount for a relatively short time but it’s mentally so stressful and anxiety producing it’s super hard ... I don’t want them , but have extra racing thoughts, can’t sit still very restless, sensitive to touch noise all stimuli I feel like I’m needing to relax and sensations in my limbs are creeping kind of and there is little relief ever I rarely get that break and sometimes get pretty scared - of nothing, just that paranoid type feeling that I hate just about more than any feeling. But this will pass. Thanks for being here, being you.
Starlight you describe yourself and emotions so well,for that I am very pleased,.Ialso understand the rollercoaster feeling of being on a small dosage and the dependancy still overwhelms you--I too had been on 5mg diazam for around 30 odd years--never really thought about how I would feel without them or on a lower dose --I have been my own mentor and had never really had counselling,GP or anyone in the family to understand my hidden torment ,I just drifted on regardless and it was a real shock/terror when eventually I was brought to heel,and the very rude Gp at a new practice wanted to put me on anti-depressants--everything was a blurr after that --that was 3 years ago,now Im much more myself but it hasnt as you already know been easy-------well ,sorry to digress,I never really got over that hurdle as this Gp had no conception as to how I felt and it triggered one of the worst episodes of my lifetime-----now I am glad in a different way and still struggling ,though definitely more aware of medication as well as learning of others plight--------nature always brings a smile to my face and the little bird,and its beauty!hope you can understand and Im also very pleased to know that you are still sharing your artistic,caring side and helping others to brighten up their day,many blessings to you and thanks for your understanding and care.🐱♥️❤️❤️🥰
You are beautiful and thank you for sharing about your struggles; this has helped me today as I struggle. Yes I try to help others it’s so important to me to give back what others have given me here.
You are wonderful too inasmuch as you do share and you do care ,and thats appreciate by many on this site,I do like to hear our your coping in weaning yourself of benzos.its by no means an easy task , so look forward to your progress,you deserve as much support as you give back threefold..
You. Are. Amazing. Thank you for your words. Today is such a struggle so far but I feel like not taking the benzos today is protecting my brain and my whole self. Taking them is not healthy for me. So I focus on healing inside my heart and of my body. I’m working hard with my therapist too. When I’m ready I will work harder on trauma therapy called CPT. Have beautiful moments all day long. I hope it’s s good day for you my friend. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through with the triggering and benzos they are can be very helpful and very evil.
I understand your description of benzos,good and bad side ,evil if you want to call them that.all I can say that each individual can work out how to treat them ,and how much of a dependancy is still there!AND of course its quite essential to have a good form of therapy.Thats where I differ as I dont push myself towards a goal,or have a therapist ,and now that the winters upon us and the uncertainty of Covid dominating .Im almost needing the stregnth of people like yourself so that I can feel as though theres some kind of back-up and not left to disintegrate-----but IM not throwing in the sponge yet----I need understanding and acknowledgement-----as I feel most of us do,and Im grateful for my health ,and for my compassion and understanding of others Mental health is my priority and I know its imperative for the balance between physical/mental or rather the other way round ;mind over matter,,keep trying we will overcome ,I do hope your day improves ...
We are here for you as winter is coming ; you will not disintegrate. I know that feeling, that fear.
Today I remind myself nothing stays the same. I can’t even imagine feeling worse but I know there is. I think I’ll try to look at my pain as discomfort and watch a movie on pain and suffering called Cake I can’t get away from this so I will try putting it in perspective as this discomfort and my feelings of it, though valid, are not the worst in the world, you know?!
Hi Dogmom! You can say anything that is on your mind like what you did today or how you feel at the moment like anxious sad happy to be here or scared or what’s been going on that makes you feel like you are going crazy...
Prop jock is so right- most of us understand know how it feels to think we’re going crazy and you know what?!Usually we are just really stressed out but I have gone through psychosis and it is scary. Anyway I am glad you are here. You can respond here or start your own thread, up to you.
That's amazing that bird came right to you. It's adorable.
Well done on the Benzo. Take it slow. I am your cheerleader. You got this.
I am grateful for the beauty that surrounds me. Yesterday I took a road trip. My goal was 🛍. But I also got a view of a canal. I had to walk up a bridge to get the shot. So I guess I'm grateful no car swerved off the road. Lol.
I'm grateful for so many things. Over the past couple years my life has come back to me. So much hard work, I really created my own destiny. I'm following my own path.
Thanks cheerleader! That is gorgeous yes. It reminds me of a pic of Switzerland I saw earlier. I’m glad you are safe funny you!
The fact that you got your life back is hopeful to me. I think I will keep moving forward with the work I do as well and be happier like you. Your own destiny. Your own path! Beautiful!!!!
I did get my life to be exactly how I wanted and needed it to be. The way I had hoped it would turn out when I was younger.
I never want it to sound that it was easy. I have put years of work into it, I also don't want it to look like I don't fall back at times. I still get triggered. I still get sad and cry.
But, I don't live there, my coping skills have helped me pull myself back together quickly.
If we had a post called what do you wish for. I would wish for ⭐️ and everyone struggling here to be able to do the same.
I have been in therapy off and on mostly on all my life. I now do healing work with my therapist. Mostly I remember and admit a lot of things were not my fault and now moving onto more trauma called CPT I’m wondering what kind of work you’ve done to get to where you want to be. I don’t even know where I want to be. I’m so happy for you ❤️ (((((( 🐬))))) ❤️
I think guilt and regret for our past experiences can do so much damage, this has indeed been my personal experience.
I am trying so hard to let go of all of that, it serves no purpose whatsoever. All of my mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame. As always, there are setbacks, this is a given. We must do our best to let go and live in the absolute present.
You will know where you want to be when you arrive there, Starrlight. So will I. Keep at it, you give us all hope. 🦋
I just knew my life was overwhelming me. I was stressed, having many symptoms of PTSD, trying to keep life as normal as possible for my family, working my butt off. I thought I was happy. I wasn't happy growing up. I would always sit at the ocean and look out for answers to happiness. I knew something was out there.
I do 2 therapies, once a week on each. I've done EMDR. I've been meditating for years. I got rid of work stress.
I started doing nice things for me. I felt guilty at first. But now I love it has you know.
The only place I wanted to be was a place of peace in my heart and soul. I feel that now. I know who " I " am.
Thank you for being happy for me. Things will work themselves out. Don't give up
One thing you must know about 🐬 based on my bio is I don't post. I've just never done it but thank you for the vote of confidence. I don't have it in me to post. Especially if it goes South, I wouldn't be able to deal with it.
No, absolutely not. No editing required, I love that we are all able to talk so freely and genuinely. The beauty of this forum and my new found friends. ❤️
Awww ☺️ you too I hope you have many very amazing beautiful moments that move you forward on your journey. I’m struggling a lot right now snd you really made my day. Thank you Blondethunder. How are you doing?
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