Grateful : What are you grateful for... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Starrlight profile image

What are you grateful for?

Me, the first day of going off benzos was a success and better than I imagined I found peace and joy during although at times it was very difficult. So I am grateful to have made it through that day snd into day two I pray will go easier.

I am grateful to have met a bird who we met yesterday at our doorstep who we called PEACE it was so peaceful with us. I think it had a concussion and we had time with it giving water and strawberry while recovering and then sent it on its way back into the wild when it was ready. It’s a yellow-breasted chat.

87 Replies

Sending lots of positive vibes for today! I hope it goes well. Love the bird!

Positive vibes right backatchya (((((((((

I am grateful for the groups of people l joined on ZOOM here in Ireland over the past year- mental health peers and Creative Writing. Thes combined with HU are great support

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Roxylox

Awesome Roxylox

What a sweet photo. Good luck on your journey to keep off them. 🤞

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Jo0410

Thank you Jo it’s already quite an adventure mostly full of peace and joy but also times of pain and struggle but I am definitely determined and confident that I can do it. How are you?

Jo04107 profile image
Jo04107 in reply to Starrlight

Hi Starrlight I am doing okay. I just starting a journey with my first ever antidepressant. Sertaline. I suddenly started having anxiety attacks about a month ago. Feeling more positive after conversation with Dr about what might have triggered it all. Hopefully the only way is up from this point.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Jo04107

I do wish you the best. Keep us posted if you want to, ok? It’s great to not have to go the journey alone.

I guess it's just a brain fog day. I read "Good luck on your journey to keep them off. 🤞

Then, thanks to vision that ain't that great, I saw a bunny at the end of your post.

"Why would Starr need to keep the bunnies off" I thinks to myself.

One of the joys of getting old. 🤣

Lol 😂

I agree with Jo lol 😂

Hi Starrlight, Well done to you for being thoughtful about the medication change and thank you for the good news bird story 👍Are you going cold turkey or tapering off? I have read & read that going cold turkey can be pretty challenging. All the best from Australia 🦘

I loooove Australia I have another friend on here Ellinaki is from Australia anyway I’d weaned off a bit now I’m off

Hi again, is Ellinaki still in Melbourne? If so, I hope everything is OK after the 5.9 earthquake today. I have sent a message earlier

Oh wow yes ! I had not heard if the earthquake. I’ll check on him too.

I am grateful for keeping myself somewhat together the last several days in a very challenging situation. Love the shore, love my husband and children but feel unsafe whenever I am around my in-laws. So glad you found something to help you get through yesterday. Each day will be better.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Mrspjsmom

Awww 🥰 sending love to you so sorry to hear you feel unsafe with in-laws. I wonder what kinds of things you have found or can find to help you during those challenging times. For me I am distracted by my don needing me at virtual school all day then whenever a craving or anxiety comes I take a drink of water. I drank a LOT of water yesterday maybe too much not joking 🙃 but I’m serious maybe find something to do with your hands while around them - like my therapist gets up snd does dishes when she can’t stand her family members behavior and I’m thinking there’s a girl I know who did cross stitch .... whatever you can find that works for you.... best to you

Mrspjsmom profile image
Mrspjsmom in reply to Starrlight

I go outside and sit for awhile. Maybe take a few photos. I brought my crochet needle and some yarn. Still trying to find a good comfortable spot to sit and do that. Last night I went to the bedroom. Watched some TV and patterned. Went up and down a few times to make it look as if I was busy doing things. Managing for now.

The ocean in the early evening

Hello Mrspjsmom. I enjoy crochet too. Are you working on anything simple enough for me to try out? (I have trouble with my hands if I use smaller hooks.) What a great escape!

I'm grateful that I've been happily divorced and separated for 6 years and that some divine power got me through it all as a single parent.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to LadyZen

Wow! That always amazes me! How you did it is amazing! My best friend who I’ve known since kindergarten is a single mom and she kicks ass and I think- how? YOU ARE AWESOME DIVINE POWER IS AWESOME

That is such a sweet little bird, how fortunate it was to have found you. Sending it back into the wild will always be a beautiful memory for you and your family.

I am grateful that I was able to make it through a benzo withdrawal. One single day at a time. Yesterday was good for you. Today is the only day that matters, you've got this Starrlight.

Oh, as usual, I am so very grateful for HU and for you, your thoughtful posts always help me. 💗

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to snowdaze

Snow days, thank you; your post is a gift to me. Yesterday and this morning I was doing well. When 10:45 hit, I am now so troubled that I am just amazingly in need of any help encouragement positive distractions calming stuff I can get. You are a breath of fresh air for me. I’ve been helping my forth grader at virtual school and it’s stressful because he is upset most of the time and I am patient with him but it’s a lot to do and a lot on my plate in general in life. Thanks for being here.

I love this 😆 you are great thanks for sharing

😊 I'm glad.

Therapy dog makes me scream!

snowdaze profile image
snowdaze in reply to Starrlight

You are welcome, Starrlight. We are all here for each other. 💗

When I was tapering from clonazepam I would go for long walks. My walks were purposely in busy parts of the neighborhood, this would help me to distract from myself and how I was feeling.

I cannot even begin to count the number of cups of Chamomile tea that I drank, sometimes with two teabags per cup, especially in the evening hours. It may have been all in my head, but it worked to calm the jitters and help me sleep. If it was all in my head, who cares, it worked.

Other than that, I just took it one day at a time, some were not so good, some were not so bad. The only way out is through, as they say. Having your children to school and all of the countless other items on your plate are, in my very humble opinion, good distractions.

Thank You for being here too, Starrlight. 🙏🏻

I'm glad your in a good space, that's a great accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself for that... I love the birdy's what makes us human, by having compassion for those around us, including our animal friends. We can't finish up the last bit of clean up from the work we are doing because we have a hedgehog who has decided to hibernate in the wood pile, and has been collecting nesting material, and eating all the snails to fatten up for the the wood pile is going to have to wait.

Thanks! I appreciate you support and compliment I need it now. Awwwwww 🥰 hedgehog! You are lucky to have him/her! So fun.

I am so thrilled to have this endangered species safe and sound in our country garden. I am really hoping for little 'Hoglets', as they are called, next spring... so we are already devising a plan to keep the hedgehog den, but kind of spruce up the outside of it once she comes out of hibernation. This little critter has cleaned up our snail problem big time, and hoping for some more of them next year. We had swallows return this last summer too, and of course they built their nest in our garage that we were going to re-furbish, so that is now on hold.

When we had a heat wave here we noticed the little baby's a bit stressed so we hung a fan to cool them during the day, and it worked ... now they have all left the next, we just saw the mom and dad and three grown chicks lined up on our phone line outside and they went off to winter over elsewhere. We also have an on going issue with starlings that keep managing to get up into our attic. And every year when they are ready to leave the nest it sounds like the 'Irish River Dancers' over our heads....but...that's nature and I'm glad we care...Ohhh...and don't get me started on the two brat mocking bird chicks trying to go fishing in our pond...yeah.... that was a trial of patience. But they too grew up and have moved on. We are short a few baby fish though, but...our fishy shenanigans will start up in the spring and we will have new babies.

Using the fan on them is so thoughtful and awesome of you!!! AwwwHoglets !!!!! What are starlings? I’ll look them up. Wow! The amount of nature you have is so cool for you! I love it 🥰

What wonderful, touching stories! Thank you for sharing, fauxartist.

I love Stars little birdy sitting on her finger, it shows how nature is healing a bit I think. I hope we all stop and smell the roses and realize nature is as much a part of our lives and happiness.

I also feel that connecting to nature is healing.

So true and very grounding healing definitely

That’s my husbands finger 😆 my finger is way prettier

👍 😂

🥰 hedgehog! How exciting!

She's a cute little critter, comes out at night and roots around, her little refuge is right outside our back bedroom window which faces the back field, and she is quite a character. She's noisy and makes little noises as she waddles around looking for bugs and snails.

Aww... She talks to herself?

I'm jealous. It sounds wonderful.

HU is getting weird. It won't let me "like' your post. Oh well.

What a victory! That's quite an achievement Starrlight. 👍 I know (too well) how hard it is to get there.

Your picture is a stunner. (Just a coincidence, but I like it.) I found an Audubon link explaining how to protect our bird friends from potentially fatal collisions.

The hard part. Really hard for me, so I really appreciate you reminding us:

I am grateful that even though there is a bad storm today, my body isn't putting me through hell. Confused, but grateful. I don't like when things aren't predictable, so it's weird I don't hurt. Am I one confused lady, or what?

I'll go with "Or what". 🦜 🌼🌻🌺

Yeah “what” you aren’t confused ... you are an amazing lady! I love Audubon thanks!!!

You're welcome! You did great, nursing the little guy back to health.

Thank you! 🙏 ☺️

Thank you, my friend. 🙏

I’m grateful for Chicken Kiev and fries ……nice little birdy 🎶bet he was grateful to you star

What is Kiev? Yes I think he/she was . Maybe he/she will visit some day. Once I let me moms doves out of the cage ‘by mistake’ haha 😆 (no mistake; they shouldn’t be caged I thought at that time I recall) and I would see them cross our skies occasionally for years after (as white doves are easy to distinguish around here)

Lovely little u.s.a. bird we don’t have them I don’t think….how’s that beautiful toady?

Toady needs crickets. All I have for her are mealworms 🐛 and beetles 🪲 but she needs crickets 🔜

I feel I shouldn’t drive I just got off benzos and I’m just not ready to drive just feeling too weird at the moment.

Google pic

Chicken in breadcrumbs stuffed with garlic butter 😋

Ok yum 😋

I second Starrlight's YUM!

Was good 😊

Your food looks professional 😂 if that makes sense,... like perfect like it could be in recipe books oooooooh it’s google ok maybe you will show yours some time so I can see the real thing I don’t know why like compare them for fun... ok I’m tired obviously I’m to bed have a good night ✨ 🌙 or morning to you 🌞

Thats a very good sign ,lovely bird too,hopefully the rest of your days gaining freedom from benzos will be similiar--im still dependant ,though on a very moderate dose!

It makes me so happy that you say our bird helping is a very good sign. Yes peace ☮️ the bird brought peace and I think being off benzos will bring me peace. That’s ok that you are on them. I know so many people who are doing great on them. I was on them because I needed them. I don’t think I want them anymore at this point in life. Its so good it’s a moderate dose. I know a good friend who took a high dose for 20 some years and just decided to get off and she describes it as being sick for 2 weeks then less of a zombie ... for me it’s very different I’ve been on a small amount for a relatively short time but it’s mentally so stressful and anxiety producing it’s super hard ... I don’t want them , but have extra racing thoughts, can’t sit still very restless, sensitive to touch noise all stimuli I feel like I’m needing to relax and sensations in my limbs are creeping kind of and there is little relief ever I rarely get that break and sometimes get pretty scared - of nothing, just that paranoid type feeling that I hate just about more than any feeling. But this will pass. Thanks for being here, being you.

Starlight you describe yourself and emotions so well,for that I am very pleased,.Ialso understand the rollercoaster feeling of being on a small dosage and the dependancy still overwhelms you--I too had been on 5mg diazam for around 30 odd years--never really thought about how I would feel without them or on a lower dose --I have been my own mentor and had never really had counselling,GP or anyone in the family to understand my hidden torment ,I just drifted on regardless and it was a real shock/terror when eventually I was brought to heel,and the very rude Gp at a new practice wanted to put me on anti-depressants--everything was a blurr after that --that was 3 years ago,now Im much more myself but it hasnt as you already know been easy-------well ,sorry to digress,I never really got over that hurdle as this Gp had no conception as to how I felt and it triggered one of the worst episodes of my lifetime-----now I am glad in a different way and still struggling ,though definitely more aware of medication as well as learning of others plight--------nature always brings a smile to my face and the little bird,and its beauty!hope you can understand and Im also very pleased to know that you are still sharing your artistic,caring side and helping others to brighten up their day,many blessings to you and thanks for your understanding and care.🐱♥️❤️❤️🥰

You are beautiful and thank you for sharing about your struggles; this has helped me today as I struggle. Yes I try to help others it’s so important to me to give back what others have given me here.

You are wonderful too inasmuch as you do share and you do care ,and thats appreciate by many on this site,I do like to hear our your coping in weaning yourself of benzos.its by no means an easy task , so look forward to your progress,you deserve as much support as you give back threefold..

You. Are. Amazing. Thank you for your words. Today is such a struggle so far but I feel like not taking the benzos today is protecting my brain and my whole self. Taking them is not healthy for me. So I focus on healing inside my heart and of my body. I’m working hard with my therapist too. When I’m ready I will work harder on trauma therapy called CPT. Have beautiful moments all day long. I hope it’s s good day for you my friend. I’m sorry for what you’ve gone through with the triggering and benzos they are can be very helpful and very evil.

I understand your description of benzos,good and bad side ,evil if you want to call them that.all I can say that each individual can work out how to treat them ,and how much of a dependancy is still there!AND of course its quite essential to have a good form of therapy.Thats where I differ as I dont push myself towards a goal,or have a therapist ,and now that the winters upon us and the uncertainty of Covid dominating .Im almost needing the stregnth of people like yourself so that I can feel as though theres some kind of back-up and not left to disintegrate-----but IM not throwing in the sponge yet----I need understanding and acknowledgement-----as I feel most of us do,and Im grateful for my health ,and for my compassion and understanding of others Mental health is my priority and I know its imperative for the balance between physical/mental or rather the other way round ;mind over matter,,keep trying we will overcome ,I do hope your day improves ...

We are here for you as winter is coming ; you will not disintegrate. I know that feeling, that fear.

Today I remind myself nothing stays the same. I can’t even imagine feeling worse but I know there is. I think I’ll try to look at my pain as discomfort and watch a movie on pain and suffering called Cake I can’t get away from this so I will try putting it in perspective as this discomfort and my feelings of it, though valid, are not the worst in the world, you know?!

I am new to this and unsure what to say. I just know I need someone who understands to talk to. I feel like I'm going crazy

propjock profile image
propjock in reply to Dogmomof4

“I am new to this and unsure what to say” the very best way to begin. Welcome!

A good way to “talk” is to click the “Write” button at the top of the page. That will be your post and others will reply.

People here know all about feeling like they are going crazy. We get it.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dogmomof4

Hi Dogmom! You can say anything that is on your mind like what you did today or how you feel at the moment like anxious sad happy to be here or scared or what’s been going on that makes you feel like you are going crazy...

Prop jock is so right- most of us understand know how it feels to think we’re going crazy and you know what?!Usually we are just really stressed out but I have gone through psychosis and it is scary. Anyway I am glad you are here. You can respond here or start your own thread, up to you.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dogmomof4

How are you doing today?

That's amazing that bird came right to you. It's adorable.

Well done on the Benzo. Take it slow. I am your cheerleader. You got this.

I am grateful for the beauty that surrounds me. Yesterday I took a road trip. My goal was 🛍. But I also got a view of a canal. I had to walk up a bridge to get the shot. So I guess I'm grateful no car swerved off the road. Lol.

I'm grateful for so many things. Over the past couple years my life has come back to me. So much hard work, I really created my own destiny. I'm following my own path.


Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

Thanks cheerleader! That is gorgeous yes. It reminds me of a pic of Switzerland I saw earlier. I’m glad you are safe funny you!

The fact that you got your life back is hopeful to me. I think I will keep moving forward with the work I do as well and be happier like you. Your own destiny. Your own path! Beautiful!!!!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight

I did get my life to be exactly how I wanted and needed it to be. The way I had hoped it would turn out when I was younger.

I never want it to sound that it was easy. I have put years of work into it, I also don't want it to look like I don't fall back at times. I still get triggered. I still get sad and cry.

But, I don't live there, my coping skills have helped me pull myself back together quickly.

If we had a post called what do you wish for. I would wish for ⭐️ and everyone struggling here to be able to do the same.


Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

I have been in therapy off and on mostly on all my life. I now do healing work with my therapist. Mostly I remember and admit a lot of things were not my fault and now moving onto more trauma called CPT I’m wondering what kind of work you’ve done to get to where you want to be. I don’t even know where I want to be. I’m so happy for you ❤️ (((((( 🐬))))) ❤️

snowdaze profile image
snowdaze in reply to Starrlight

I think guilt and regret for our past experiences can do so much damage, this has indeed been my personal experience.

I am trying so hard to let go of all of that, it serves no purpose whatsoever. All of my mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame. As always, there are setbacks, this is a given. We must do our best to let go and live in the absolute present.

You will know where you want to be when you arrive there, Starrlight. So will I. Keep at it, you give us all hope. 🦋

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight

I just knew my life was overwhelming me. I was stressed, having many symptoms of PTSD, trying to keep life as normal as possible for my family, working my butt off. I thought I was happy. I wasn't happy growing up. I would always sit at the ocean and look out for answers to happiness. I knew something was out there.

I do 2 therapies, once a week on each. I've done EMDR. I've been meditating for years. I got rid of work stress.

I started doing nice things for me. I felt guilty at first. But now I love it has you know.

The only place I wanted to be was a place of peace in my heart and soul. I feel that now. I know who " I " am.

Thank you for being happy for me. Things will work themselves out. Don't give up


Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

❤️ you are beautiful

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to Starrlight

You are :)


snowdaze profile image
snowdaze in reply to Dolphin14

You should start that post, Dolphin, it is a great idea. 🌸

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to snowdaze

One thing you must know about 🐬 based on my bio is I don't post. I've just never done it but thank you for the vote of confidence. I don't have it in me to post. Especially if it goes South, I wouldn't be able to deal with it.


snowdaze profile image
snowdaze in reply to Dolphin14

I understand Dolphin.💗

I hope I haven't upset you. 🙏🏻

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to snowdaze

Oh no. Not upset at all. I could never be upset with you. Did I write that wrong? Should I edit it?


snowdaze profile image
snowdaze in reply to Dolphin14

No, absolutely not. No editing required, I love that we are all able to talk so freely and genuinely. The beauty of this forum and my new found friends. ❤️

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to snowdaze

Agree, it's a great place. The support is amazing. I just wanted to be sure I didn't upset you. ❤️🐬

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to Dolphin14

You are so sweet.

Dolphin, please continue to surf the gentle waves of this forum, offering up your words of experience and wisdom.🌊

You could not ever upset me.

Starrlight profile image
Starrlight in reply to snowdaze

You are sweet too. I love it here.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply to snowdaze

Snowdaze: Thank you so much.


I am grateful for people like you who share their stories on here and give me hope, reason, and motivation to persevere. <3 Have a beautiful day!

Awww ☺️ you too I hope you have many very amazing beautiful moments that move you forward on your journey. I’m struggling a lot right now snd you really made my day. Thank you Blondethunder. How are you doing?

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