Detaching myself from the world

[sadwaffle]

I told my friend that I think I'm becoming Anti social. I'm an introvert but now, I really think I'm becoming anti social. I'm slowly detaching myself from the world. I'm slowly becoming hateful. My persona remained the same though. I still show my family that I'm bubbly, silly, and well, good nature i guess. But deep down, I'm having this hateful, terrible thoughts. And the fact is that, I'm entertaining those thoughts. I'm so tired of being kind to this world when all it do to me is treat me unfairly. I'm so tired of seeing people who are a terrible person get what they want. I'm so tired of unfairness. I'm so tired of being quiet and understanding to everyone. I don't know where will this thoughts will take me. I just wanna escape and rest.

[sadwaffle]

I always have a hard time expressing anger and I relate to you when you said you're having emotional outburst. I rarely show my anger and I always repressed it, because I know when I let it out I'll end up hurting everyone which leads to me being guilty and feeling bad and invalid. I also recently talk to my bully(once friend) about why she said terrible things to me in the past, that to be honest, still affect me and my self esteem, and she ended up not owning to it. I mean she wasn't mean about the way she said on why she did it, but she didn't own up to it either and just sort of brush it off and blame it to others who "influenced" her. I still feel bad talking about this to other people as I always think I'm talking behind her back since she still became my friend anyway, that's why I rarely talk about it. Anyway, I'll try to be neutral like you said and hope for the best that the terrible thoughts dont consume me even though I'm giving into it slowly now. I'm also glad I'm not the only one who feel this and that I'm not alone. Thank you for the advice and comfort, I hope you feel better soon too <3

[truthseekorchid]

I can relate with you...I have family members who are introverted, and I also have moments where I feel antisocial. Many years ago, I carried a lot of hate in my thoughts. I felt I deserved to be treated with respect, and if anyone did not, I would lash out. One time, I yelled at an airline employee when my flight was delayed. This employee was just doing his job. I thought I was being treated unfairly (by the delay), yet I was so wrong in my attitude of yelling at the employee. Then, a few years later, an amazing transformation happened in my life...I met Jesus. I realized that He loved me, even with all my failings, and he forgave me. And now, the anger that used to burn in my mind, has really diminished , and turned to forgiveness and love, just as He has for me. I've realized that no one is perfect...including me. I will pray for you that you may be transformed, and receive the peace that only God can provide. Do you have some support around you? It sounds like you have family, is there anyone you can confide in about your thoughts? It is important to express your feelings, and sometimes anger is just an outward expression of loneliness, sadness or fear. Let me know if you'd like some resources that have helped me when I have had down times.

[Hidden]

I'm tired of seeing people who want to play games and manipulate and lie being the ones who get ahead too. I'd like to believe what goes around comes around.