After watching a segment on GMB about addictions this morning i had to agree that an Addiction wants you to itself.
Whether alcohol,drugs,smoking,over eating or anxiety is ones addiction i had to agree that Madame or Sir Addiction is a very selfish entity which feeds on ones aloneness,which is why it always wants you to be alone for it cannot thrive if you are surrounded by people.
Yesterday my friend Sheila told me to have as much interaction with people as possible because the more time one spends alone,the more that Addiction can control ones life,and i had to wholeheartedly agree,for this state of living can result in obsessive behaviour,which over time only worsens.
I am very aware that the days that i see no one, is a time when my fears seem to become very real and it is a cycle which i must try to curb.
Due to being incompaciated now for the forseeable future, ,and not being able to get out and about i find i am totally alone for 3 days out of 7,and being unable to do very much (of which there many things i should do,or want to do but unable to ) it becomes a vicious circle and my mind is in overtime,and i let addictions come in.
I am fortunate that i do have some close friends,but i dont expect them to be at my beck and call all the time,they have their own lives to live,and they dont live nearby.
My addictions are over eating,anxiety,worrying and very occasionally drinking to much Sherry,of which i am not proud.
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secrets22
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If it wasn’t COVID times, I think a good thing for me would be to join something and do an activity with other people. I never really interact with anybody except my boyfriend and the people I work with. I miss having friends. I’d like to call my best friend and just have a long heart-to-heart, but I don’t get much privacy. I have a human instinct to reach out, but a fear of reaching out at the same time. I really need friends.
We all are feeling that way to a greater or lesser amount.
Yes addiction is a selfish thing isn't it?
You have the dogs for company and they are great friends to have.
Baby is fine and enjoyed her fish treat yesterday afternoon.
I feel a lot better now I have had time to calm down over being called bitter or Saturday and ok perhaps my attitude was bitter towards my family's bad attitude towards me but it doesn't mean I'm always like that.
I never did tell that person who insulted me to burn in h*ll as I decided it's better for my own peace of mind to concentrate on my friends not my enemies and let life sort then out as what goes around comes around eventually!
Sunday night I had the door rudely slammed shut in my face by my mother who claims she will be in contact later on in the week and I was hurt but thought yeah whatever and rang up a good friend and invited her to join us yesterday for tea and coffee which she had happily accepted and said she had appreciated getting invited out and said how that on Sunday night was very rude!
This morning I had a job interview for 11 and made a morning out of it as I had a nice walk round the park nearby and a nice relaxing cup of tea in a cafe before I went in the interview and came out of it feeling in my heart I had given it my very best.
oh tell me about it....families...people and things...no matter how we try we cannot please everyone,and as for family,they are often the worst people to please,and i am so glad i live a fair distance from any of them.i do hope you job interview went well,and fingers crossed you will get the job.x
Last time I was up in whitchurch in Cardiff for an interview it was back in January 2020 just before everything shut down for a part time job there that I didn't get and now looking back I feel not having got the jobs back then was a blessing in disguise as I feel it would have hurt a lot harder to have gone through interview, think I was getting a job only to have it snatched away or starting a job and then it being snatched away after having just started rather than what has happened me having to wait even though having to wait gets frustrating I would rather this than the alternative!
A few weeks back I was out at a place in Cardiff called the corner house with my friends for a rearranged event that had been taken away when everything shut down back in March 2020 and had said to them how the virus had made me have to postpone some plans I had made and had asked the girls what do you think is worse not starting something and having to postpone or start the things and then have the door slammed shut in your face?
They think it's worse starting something and having it taken away than not having it at all and having to put things on hold.
Sunday night the excuse was that yesterday they were getting a new back door fitted to hide behind not wanting to talk to me but plenty of others do want my company!
Myself and my friends all laughed together about the back door excuse and said how its cowardly to hide behind excuses not to do things and just laziness and we turned the excuses into entertainment and they had asked me if I had anymore and I said I have heard everything Now!
I wonder what the next excuse will be to hide behind?
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Feeling very alone
Being alone
Alone
Scared to be alone
