Bad day at work. I'm burned out at my job, and have been seriously struggling with it for at least two years. You may ask, why don't I find something else? Valid question. I don't have skills to get anything else meaningful outside of something like retail/cashier. My mental and emotional health cannot take that, as I've been there and know what it entails. I fear just moving on to a different job that I have to sell all my time and soul to, just so I can barely pay my bills and eat. So, I've stayed with the devil I know for almost four years now. I phoned my mom after work, which did help, and I thought I was fine, until I got off the phone and took a shower and my inner demons just came right back in full force. I can't win today, and am just killing time until I can take a sleep aid and go to sleep. It's the only reprieve I have anymore. All so I can get up and go back to pretend at work all over again.
I'm so exhausted. I'm tired of existing in a world I don't fit in and in a society that dictates you sell yourself to the highest bidder just to barely make it by. No one needs to respond to this. I just need to physically write it out and get it out of myself, even though it doesn't alleviate the feelings. My soul is so tired of feeling alienated and lonely. Thanks if anyone actually read this.