Seriously depressed

[Annd26]

Feeling so alone and depressed.I have a almost 4 year old dd.I beleive I moght have passed on something to her.She screams and hit herself.I do not self harm but I have had suicidal thoughts and I am a loner.My family do not like my partner.He beat me up before because i went out on the relationship.I told him it it was done because he is a deadbeat and I am the breadwinner he he cuss me and belittle me all the time.I had enough amd said we were done.I went back to him because he begged and was stalking me and because of my child.Now couples weeks ago I was very Anxious because my sibling was really ill and could not eat or sleep now my period is late by 8 days.I am even more anxious depressed not mention sleeping and gettin up only because I have to take care of my child.Also because my partner stresses me and cuss me out.We are on lockdown and it has gotten worse .He argues about everything and calls me names like retard stupid etc and yells infront of the child.I just shut up.He does not work nor does he want to.and he says I am of no use to him.He constantly begs me money and owes me money and Accuse me of cheating.I dony have any friend to talk .

[hypercat54]

This is awful and I am sorry. It seems clear to me that you have to get out of that terrible relationship with his awful man. Do you have any options such as family taking you in.

The child is seeing all this violence and the only thing you are passing down is keeping her there with this abusive man. No wonder she is playing up. It is far better for children to have a stable loving one parent home than to be with 2 parents who are constantly fighting. So don't stay there for her sake, leave for her sake.

Get as far away as you can and do not let him know where if possible. You can also get a restraining order against him if necessary. Don't make the mistake of thinking he will change, or believe anything he says or let yourself be persuaded back to him whatever you do.

You haven't said where you live but I am guessing the USA, so can't offer any practical advice as I am in the UK.

[Cb1963]

Well,as soon as lockdown is over, get his sorry face out of your life! Is it any wonder you're having major anxiety issues, your child will be picking up the fragility in the household, nobody, but nobody lives a life like that,he is using you,and running you down isn't acceptable, your family have perhaps have seen his true colours, but don't want to get involved, you can't carry on like this, I've seen and read these problems to many times, the person goes to the doctor, gets anti depressants tablets, but never reveals the real reason why they are depressed, and yet the bully carries on with his wicked behaviour, he wants to isolate you,and will keep you alone, you will end up with no one,this ISN'T NORMAL, next he'll be checking your phone, I suggest you get out of this toxic relationship as soon as possible, he will deny you a normal life, and your daughter will also suffer, get a court order, injunction against him,anything to keep him away from you.i think you need to break free,go and stay with your parents if they will allow this once you have got rid of him for a few days, tell them you need a bit of moral support and love,and tell them that's the last time he's ever coming back into your life,they will know you have struggled, and hopefully they will understand, its the only way to make yourself safe and secure, and you'll find your daughter will be a lot calmer,I wish all my strength in a difficult situation.

[Annd26]

Thanks everyone im in the caribbean Jamaica.He just went on a rant some minutes ago.Dd put her foot in the dirt he was sweeping and he went off on me and almost hit me with the broom.He says I must get out of his house.

[Cb1963 in reply to Annd26]

Hello from the UK 🇬🇧, we are all on your side!!! We have your best interests at heart, I know it may seem easy for us all to say get out, but you MUST,this isn't a NORMAL relationship, a loving relationship works both ways,and you are not,i don't know what facilities you have in your country to protect yourself from this type of 'man',like the police, or courts etc,like we have over here,its frowned upon, so forgive my ignorance, I can see why you are lonely and fed,up,but you must seek help, you will make yourself ill, and things will escalate, time to move on,you won't regret this,and hopefully in the years to come, you'll find someone who treats you with respect, and kindness, please, take it from me,I'm a man myself, and trust me this isn't normal behaviour, and NO woman should even put up with this,try and sort something out, once again, my thoughts are with you.

[Midori in reply to Annd26]

You deserve far better that this, and so does your daughter. I too have a history of extreme abuse, but I got out before my kids started suffering. Please get out, go away from the neighbourhood and keep away from this man! he is dangerous! Can you go back to your family for awhile?

Cheers, Midori

[Roxylox]

I hope you can get to a good women's refuge. You do not deserve your situation. You are obviously a good person

[Tara52]

It's no wonder you are depressed! You must for your daughters sake get out of that house today! She is being traumatized as well. Are there police in your area to help you? I am praying God will give you wisdom and strength to move forward to getting free today!!🙏💗☝️

[bethelbee]

You MUST get out of that relationship! It is toxic and abusive to you and your child. Go to a shelter if you need to, go to family or friends if you have to. Call social services or even law enforcement if you need to? Do it before it is too late!!! Please get help. Your's and your child's life may be dependent on it!!!

[Daveacr1959]

What use is a man who won’t work? Are you on birth control? You should not be worrying about more babies. Go be with your family. Leave him.