Depression taking over

[ocdlady]

Hi All! I am new here. I have panic disorder, ocd, depression and agoraphobia (that one is new for me). I have always gotten nervous about taking trips, but now I cannot make myself. So, my husband and 2 kids are leaving tomorrow to fly out of state to visit my mother in law. I was initially relieved that I didn't have to go, but now I am hitting a serious anxiety attack and depression over being home along for a week. I have intrusive self harm thoughts, and a fear of passing out and having someone home 24/7 the past 18 months has been good for my mental health. Now I am going from never being alone to being very alone for a week. I have been bed ridden crying for the past 24 hours and they haven't even left yet. I am so scared of going back down my depression hole and being alone. My therapist is also out for the week, we had a longer session on Monday but I wont see her again until next week. When I get like this I have a very hard time reaching out to people, I don't answer my phone because I will just cry and that is embarrassing to me. Any tips to get out of this funk and embrace the time alone rather that fear it?

[Saffron_Spice]

Welcome. I can appreciate how you're feeling. I am schizoaffective with suicidal thoughts, PTSD, anxiety & ADHD. I have issues with paranoia on one end, bipolar exhibition on the other. I was pretty well stabilized, managing my anxiety satisfactorily until Covid-19. It's like all aspects of my mental & emotional diagnoses take turns daily now.

I know this: routine, resources, & pursuing interests set folks like us up for success. Do you have any projects you can now better tackle with an empty house? Any movies you've been wanting to watch? Plan & complete a project, curl up with the pup & a bowl of popcorn & watch a movie, or set aside a special time every morning or evening to read a book with a cup of hot tea or chocolate, whatever floats your boat. Delight in uninterrupted bubble baths by candlelight with your favorite CD playing!

At least moderately stick to your routine, but fit these things in. When you do something that is healthy self-care, recognize it and pat yourself on the back!

While we hope for the best, it's important to know who you can reach out to. This forum is a great source of fellowship, it's nice to know we aren't alone in our struggles and folks give some great advice & support. I will say, people will respond but sometimes it isn't immediate, which isn't unreasonable because of time differences & work weeks - if you are in a place where you can be patient for feedback, you have discovered a wonderful group. 741741 is a good text resource, they have counselors that can listen & advise in a moment of crisis. With your current tendency for self-harm thoughts, I'd advise having the Nat'l Suicide Hotline number close by or programmed into your contacts. Maybe your therapist has some other resource suggestions.

Lastly, indulge as you wish, but try to nourish your body with dark greens and lean proteins daily. Something fermented, like yogurt or apple cider vinegar drinks, is good to ingest daily because the natural probiotics in these help your body "re-up". I say this because dopamine & serotonin, among other beneficial body & brain chemicals, are produced in the gut. If you don't eat, or don't eat healthily, your body won't be able to replenish your brain with what it needs to chemically remain stabilized. External things throw us off, even when this is working properly, so we mustn't handicap our body from doing what it can to protect us mentally & emotionally. On that note, at least 15-20 minutes of sunshine a day helps this also.

Best of luck, love & peace. 💚✌

[crowningglory19]

Hi there, glad you logged on, that is a great first step in right direction. Baby steps are to be celebrated. Take small steps outside, soak in sun, you don't have to walk, just get some vitamin D for 10 min or so. Also, take off your shoe and walk outside to get grounded to the earth again, it does help. Taking magnesium is great to calm your mind body and spirit and ginseng is great to get rid of sticky negative thoughts or moods that loop. I order mind online thru natures sunshine, it is very good. Hope these ideas help you too! God bless you dear.