Trying to act normal when nervous

It's so hard for me to act normal when I feel nervous. It makes me not want to be around other people, but I love people. Who else can relate?

[Hb2003]

Oh me too I act totally shy when I am nervous I get distracted easily apologize too much 😅 touch my face it’s embarrassing I try my hardest

[Hidden in reply to Hb2003]

I just don't know how to act! I try my hardest, too. I've always been shy and anxious. I also over analyze every social interaction afterwards. It's exhausting!

[Hb2003 in reply to Hidden]

Me too . It’s really exhausting i sometimes have a freaking out battle internally. It’s like arguing sort of if I did a good job or not

[Hidden in reply to Hb2003]

Exactly! I couldn't have said it better. I can totally relate.

[Rafiki11]

That makes a lot of sense. I have to work hard at this at times, especially at work. I focus on smiling, breathing slowly, and relaxing my body language (shoulders back and down, no visible fidgeting).

[Hidden in reply to Rafiki11]

Holding something in my hand helps... (like a drink) or at restaurants I always squeeze my napkin under the table... grocery shopping holding the cart/my purse helps. It's a like a security thing or something. If that makes any sense?

[Rafiki11 in reply to Hidden]

Honestly, I think a lot of people feel the same way. They’re just trying to hide it just like you are.

Most people feel like they need something to do with their hands.

[Roxylox in reply to Hidden]

It makes perfect sense. Much nicer than my coping habit of rubbing the top of my finger I made rough by skin nibbling.

[Hidden]

This is how I feel wherever I go. Can feel like a walking paradox when you really want connection and love people but feel uncomfortable at times where I just want to run away but we can’t do that so we have to act “normal” whatever that is

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I have no clue what "normal" really even is. I want and love connection, but I also like staying at home sometimes, as long as I can do it without depression. I really have to push myself to go places because of my severe anxiety.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Maybe try to look at is at not pushing yourself. Because whenever I say I’m pushing myself to do something it’s because I genuinely do not want to do it. You like to go places it seems, so you’re doing your best to be more open to going more places. The things you tell yourself daily will assist with your anxiety. If you feel it’s severe enough where you can’t function having a normal conversation it wouldn’t hurt to try medication. I haven’t done so but I’ve considered it to.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

That's a much better way for me to look at it! Thank you. I am on different meds. My doc just increased my anxiety one. I think part of my problem is I wasn't going anywhere because of Covid, so I am out of practice going places. I am vaccinated now though.

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

You’re describing my childhood 😂 I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was 12 so that’s middle school. Every time I would get a sudden “adrenaline flood” or “sudden fear flash”. I would say I need to go to the bathroom. Or lie say I’m on my period. I would race to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall and breathe and sometimes cry. Cause before getting the diagnosis I didn’t know what the hell that was. Just knew other people didn’t do that.

After settling down I pull myself together and pretend to be normal. I would try to dive back into my school work to distract or start talking to someone about something so I could get over this “feeling”. I usually would be funny so people would not notice anything a miss.

One of the things about having anxiety is that you learn to be a good liar. Or a great pretender as I like to say. I can put on a show and make it look like I’m ok. But inside I feel like I’m on fire and my skeleton wants to jump out and make a run for it.

[TangledUpIn in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I just got a visual of your skeleton making a run for it😄

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to TangledUpIn]

Yeah it felt like my skeleton was just going to jump out if I didn’t move. Like my skeleton was saying “look I’m giving you 2 mins to get out of this uncomfortable situation or I’m gone. Your body can stay but I’m gonna bounce” 😅

[Hidden in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I pretend I'm fine all the time even though I'm not. I just want to do well for my loved ones, but because of me hiding my symptoms they don't know how badly I'm doing. It's not good because I've been so depressed. I think of suicide every day. I am safe, so no worries. I am just not doing well.

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Hidden]

I know how you feel. That was me thru out middle school in fact I tried 2x to take myself out of the picture. It’s hard when people around you don’t understand anxiety. Kind of think you can just stop acting that way. Or get over it. Of course you have family and you don’t want other to worrry so you hide and suppress your feelings. It then you end up drowning in them.

I found it a lot easier when I found somebody to talk to about this. My person was a counselor. She was amazing. It just felt so good to let everything out that I was feeling. To be reassured that I wasn’t crazy and this affects millions of people.

I know you’re not feeling so hot. But I can say from my own experience, don’t hide your feelings. It’s ok for you to be anxious. Don’t be ashamed of it. And know that here, you are among friends

[Hidden in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

I am so glad you had your counselor. It's amazing how people can come into our lives and touch our hearts. I've had a few people come into my life that made me wonder if they hadn't would I still be here. Thank you so much for your reply! I am eating a whole thing of chocolate ice cream and crying because I'm a mess. Friends? lol

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Hidden]

Yeah we were friends if you share your ice cream with me 🤣🍦

[Hidden in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Hahahaha.... 🤣❤️🤣

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I would if I could!

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Hidden]

Hey it's the thought that counts! That you be willing to share your chocolate ice cream. Is it just chocolate ice cream or like rocky road?

[Hidden in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

It was (lol) dark chocolate ice cream! My favorite! ❤ What is your favorite ice cream?

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Hidden]

Chocolate, double chocolate, rocky road, swirl. Umm strawberry I have a lot of favorites 😋

[Hidden in reply to CL3V3R-G1RL]

Oh, I forgot about strawberry! When I get neapolitan the strawberry is the first flavor gone!

[CL3V3R-G1RL in reply to Hidden]

I do the same I systematically go thru the flavors... strawberry, vanilla then chocolate...mmm 😋

[Hidden]

Well, I'm definitely an introvert, and that's okay. I get nervous being in a group of people, I'd rather talk to someone one to one than be among a bunch of strangers at a party. And I don't like public speaking, but I love the acting classes I've taken. When I'm pretending to be someone else, it's fun.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I prefer one on one, too. Acting classes?! That's so cool. When I was little I always wanted to be an actress.

[TangledUpIn]

Up until my 20's I was nervous talking to people. Then a wonderful thing happpened: I got a traveling sales job. All of a sudden, I had to talk to strangers🙃🙂 To do that naturally, I had to drown out my nerves. My technique to this day is to talk to strangers any chance I get. I learned how to bond with all types of people quickly. If you show genuine interest in strangers, they will talk. (I like to open with: How's your day going so far?) And if theyre talking about themselves, I'm not so nervous because the spotlight is off me. So that's my tip for how to be less nervous😉

[Hidden in reply to TangledUpIn]

Thank you ❤️ That's amazing you overcame that!

[Roxylox]

To thisismetrying

I can also say I feel awkward and act awkward , particularly in shop. Unlike you , l don't mind not being around people.

Ive been hurt by too many people publicly to have much love of people, l'm now wary, and l think that makes me more awkward looking.

I'm glad for you you still have good faith in people. I think poor treatment has soured me a bit.

[Hidden in reply to Roxylox]

Sending you some good thoughts. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Not all people are bad, but I understand!

[Kainan]

Yeah that's a hard thing to do. I totally get it and I'm sure others do as well. At that point, anxiety is in control, so it's not likely you can just act normal and be in agreement with how you feel internally.

[Hidden in reply to Kainan]

You're exactly right. Hugs.