A sad part of my life ..never had freinds ..never had any girl freind ..always been depressed

[Aggy_poddar]

I am so much broken I just want to live my life in a way I never been able to .I can bearly speak about it in a cohesive way .I..I am just done and cant do anything properly at this point ..all my dreams and wishes seem to fade away ..other shity fake inhumane fuck up people , teachers, freinds of here dont want to listen to mine or speak to me about it or anything proper and never understand any of mine or anyone's situation and instead they judge people and call them with bad names and treat people bad .

I am frustrated with my life cuz no one cares and I am frustrated with my life cuz all those strong regrets in my life.

I am frustrated about the life cuz death is soon and still I couldn't even live happily even in my childhood..I see other kids happy and being with a girl I feel sad I feel empty taht I never had any freinds like them or never had that happiness cuz the way society works here.

No one cares about our mental health or physical health at all..no one cares about our emotions .

I feel bad and really sad when I see other teens having a good stressfree loving life and being able to explore places and have a girlfriend and able to talk with many communities and peoples., talking with many peoples and respected by many people...

I coudnt have that this is one of my biggest regrets ...

Maybe this is the basic thing ever this love or friendship or happiness I couldn't have any of those..

And in this society I really hate everyone cuz they dont have any logical thinking or anything right about huamns lifes they dont seem to care about our lifes ..

The teachers too never helped us understand life ot how to operate in life.

And not only this they also stopped us and restricted us to talk to & be with opposite gender ..they never let ..their work proves that ..

Now when I am grown up see things like this ..look back..I feel really degraded ..I feel I am lost I feel I am no one ..I feel like unloved 😭

I feel I am left out...........and extremely depressed and sad cuz I could not be happy, could not be loved .

People start to talk shit about it to me and make me feel more bad ..

And at this age already all the girls are like booked by other people or in simple words they already have boyfriends so there Is chance of mine having someone i can love..

I wanted a girl with my me from childhood who can listen to me , my stories and words and be my freind and never leave me until my death ..

But here its impossible....no one let's a girl and boy talk to each other..I never been able to be free ..I never been able to experience life

Tahts why I am so depressed , broken and demotivated..there is infact no memories in me that motivates me at this point ..

I am at this point hell-ed up .😵..🥺

I feel like I deserve nothing and no with all this I feel like this trauma and depresiona and this sad life memories and events holding me back and I dont feel like moving on .I dont feel like studying , and feel no interest in anything ..

I am just lost and now better be dead ..

Bye 😔

And I see the conditions of my mom ..who never had any good life moments.., married at age 13 , father died early, never got any proper education, couldn't complete education

And she also have many disorders and diseases..

She have thyroid, extreme spondylisis , mental trauma, sugar, weak bones and skin disease..

And this all acts like a fuel in my fire of sadness..

I Mean I get more sad about it 😭😭 knowing I am unable to do anything better for her and me..cant help

All this killed me and kills me and all the hope that may arises ...

I am really in true pain .and with suffering all this what gonna happen

We just gonna die ..😭😭😭😭😭 and would have that energy or time to do anything or experience any life when we will br near to death .

That's too much for me now ..I am done

[Broken1971]

I'm so sorry you are suffering like that. I feel like that too...I have so many regrets, am angry and resentful at people who have hurt me or held me back. That's ok. But you are soooooo young! Trust me, please trust me that things change, people change and you'll change as you grow older. PLEASE don't do anything rash! And please find help anywhere you can now...a hotline, anyone you can talk to. There is help out there. You reached out to us here and that is such a big step. There are great people on this forum who care as and will listen and respond. Try to ground yourself and slow down your thoughts...watch some funny tv or videos. You will be ok!

[crowningglory19]

I'm so sorry you have always been sad and lonely. I wish I could help you more. It might be learned or inherited since your Mom was the same way as you said. Have you gone to a dr for it to see if you are chemically imbalanced? Maybe there is some thing that can re-balance you to help. If you are interested in more natural things these help a lot with depression/anxiety Magnesium glycinate is great for that or a quality multi vitamin with extra magnesium and B vitamin in it. Ginseng is great to get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop too! Take walks, get involved in volunteering to help others which helps you too. Stay away from negative people esp when you feel low, protect yourself and love yourself well, you are worth it! <3

[SirGrits]

Hey Aggy, I'm sorry too that things have been so tough for you. Do try and explore the inheritance aspect of your suffering with a therapist.Consider too a local church. The thing about churches is that they are full of people trying to find connection with each other. At minimum, you'd have that in common with the other people there.

In my own life and thinking, lately I've really tried to hone in on my negative thinking patterns. Identifying them and challenging them brings me great relief. Look into that too, it's an aspect of CBT, google it. There are number of negative patterns I could see in your post, try and learn them for yourself so you can keep them from controlling your emotions.

Prayers bro.