It feels like i am losing myself

[Mishell11]

I dont know in a very long time, i found someone who loves me more than the benefits. I fell in love once before and he hurt me. But now i have fallen in love again, and it feels like everything, but i find some holes everywhere. I dont know everytime he asks me for a breakuoy, i feel all the energy draining out of my body. Every time i fall in love they start going against me in the first 6 months, everything starts to fall out of place, they start asking me for a breakup everytime we fight, i sit idle, i have my nerves breaking down. I dont know why. I have a family who loves me without conditions and everything just in front of my eyes, but yet i always fall in love and be so dependent on their love. Maybe i change them and that makes them a monster, i am the problem everytime. I was always blaming them for saying or not treating me right. But just like he said, im love sick, i just want someone everytime despite the invisible love that i have got.

I just realised im not supposed to carry on with relationships, how am i supposed to succeed in that when i dont know how to embrace the loved ones in my life already. Somethings wrong with me.

[TangledUpIn]

That's interesting that unlike a lot of us your family isn't the problem. It's something else entirely Codependency.