How do I deal with this anxiety?

[PinkLeia]

I am going to probably lose my job because of some mistakes I made. I have a hard time speaking up because I don’t feel like I can and now I am suffering for it. This job I took 2 years ago after being let go from a toxic workplace of 15 years. I feel like a loser. I don’t want to have to deal with this day in and out so I am looking for a new job. I am tired from holding all of this in. Any suggestions on how to deal with this daily?

[Hidden]

You’re not a loser. But I would say start your morning off with some happy music to put you in a happy mood or try some mindfulness?

[HekatHushla]

I completely understand what you are going through. I lost a job that I loved and was really good at for a stupid reason. The next job I got I'm currently still at but I hate it. I've been there almost a year and I wake up with massive anxiety. Vomitting is part of my morning ritual at this point. I constantly feel like I'm having a heart attack when I'm there. I am actively looking for a new job, but I still have to find a way to show up to this one in the interim.

I feel like an utter failure. I've never been fired in my life, yet here I am. Sometimes I feel like I deserve to feel this awful because I'm such a disgrace.

I wish I had advice for you. I hope it helps in some way to know you are not alone in these feelings.

[PinkLeia in reply to HekatHushla]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I relate 100%. I tried to tell myself that it’s going to get better but there was and is no relief in sight.

[Hidden]

Why do you think you might lose your job because of some mistakes? One thing I learned working in the career I had was I had to be an Advocate for a lot of people and learned to do it for myself as well. Can you practice writing things down to talk to your boss so you know what you want to say? Usually mistakes are followed by a warning then a written warning then dismissal. I don't know what mistakes you made but we have all messed up and lost our jobs at least once and some ...a lot of bosses can be jerks and others not.

Good luck! if you need to message me please don't hesitate.

[PinkLeia]

I did get a written warning on Friday and I have been stressing about it since then. I have never had that before so I have it in my mind that it is over. I keep thinking about how to make it better but I have never been happy there so I am not sure it will help. I am lost and scared about all of this.

[Hidden in reply to PinkLeia]

Okay a written warning is just that. It goes in your file. It isn't a termination. Just basically don't make that mistake again.

You're not a loser. We've ALL been there