How do I get my husband to understand depression and not tell me I am just having a pity party

[Pupsicle]

I moved to the US for work, got married and pregnant last year. I am extremely blessed but I still feel extremely anxious and upset. Like millions of others, I can’t see my family because of COVID-bans and want to be near them during this pregnancy. I have asked my husband to help me. That he is the only support I have here. His response is that I like to have a pity party and I am thoughtless, selfish, and inconsiderate. On most days I put on a smile on my face and try to make life beautiful for my family. But there are days when I just want to disappear, and somehow those are the days my husband chooses to name call me. The more he does that, the more I want him to understand. And he pushes me - verbally and physically away - that triggers me further and I feel afraid of being alone. It’s a bizarre situation, I want to disappear but I don’t want to be alone. Confused and afraid.

[fauxartist]

He's 'gaslighting' you...turning things around that he is responsible for doing or being. If I were you...I'd look around online for support groups for pregnant mom's, you have this group to share, and keep reaching out to help get the support you need. And take your power back, if he wants to be un-supportive...then find what you need elsewhere. Don't be hurt by his actions because he may not have it in him to want to be understanding...some people just don't. And don't expect him to change...only we can change to do what we need to for our own needs.

[Isinatra in reply to fauxartist]

Truer words were never written, Faux. ❤️🏄‍♀️

[Pupsicle in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for the kind words. It’s my first time trying an online platform, and it’s nice to know there are other people out there to talk with.

[ongaku666 in reply to Pupsicle]

Also to add to the great advice above, you might want to reconsider the relationship you're in. If he's unable to speak to you and have empathy for your concerns and actually is becoming violent, you might not be aware of who he really is. We always think we know the other person, till things get stressful and their true colors show.

I would prioritise your safety and that of your child, because gaslighting is verbal and emotional abuse.

It is a hard choice but please be safe and seek support. YOU ARE NEVER EVER ALONE.

It feels very lonely when you struggle but you're not alone!

[Pupsicle in reply to ongaku666]

Thank you. I appreciate the support.