Really hurting today

I had a terrible time yesterday, both on here due to a conversation I chose to get into and then elsewhere, in a game I play online due to toxic players. I don't post a lot here but I don't have anyone to talk to about how I feel and this has usually been a safe place for me. My marriage is done, I managed to get a job but it's contractual and they haven't sent me any work yet. I'm overweight and exhausted and I just don't know how long I can last like this. I do try to exercise and I eat good food, no processed stuff. I drink too much though. Not every day, just once in awhile. I know I need professional help but I've been to so many counselors in the past and the majority of them did more damage than help. I'm so tired of people who think nothing about hurting me, or ignoring me. I think I'm just tired of humanity in general. Thanks for reading.

[Hb2003]

I’m so sorry that people were being disrespectful to you . I know how you feel someone hurtMe a few days ago . lots of hugs kindness love and support ☺️

[Hidden in reply to Hb2003]

Thank you so much Hiba. Your posts are always helpful and kind. I'm sorry someone hurt you too.

[Hb2003 in reply to Hidden]

Your welcome ❤️ it’s ok i am over it now so no worries ☺️

[Hidden]

Thank you for your kind reply. I have had my thyroid tested in the relatively recent past and it was normal. I am likely overweight due to a knee injury that rendered me unable to walk for months, and at the time I had no health insurance (here in the U.S. that is common), so I just had to let it heal on its own. Unfortunately it is a reoccurring injury that likely needs surgery, and now that I have health insurance it's possible but....the pandemic. I think also (and psychological studies bear this out) that I have experienced so much trauma that my body has just given up. I also went through menopause and that took its toll as well. Years ago I was a fit and trim individual, always active, lifting weights, hiking and so on and so forth, so this is a double trauma for me.

It has just been an incredibly trying decade and I don't seem to have the ability to rally anymore. I used to just shrug things off, smile and carry on. It is all just too much now and I guess I am overwhelmed with all aspects of this life. How do people recover from such things? I know they do, there are plenty of stories and they all seem to include a strong support network of family, or friends. I do not have those things. Right now it is just myself, my husband (he's here physically, so there's that) and my Newfoundland dog who I adopted from a shelter 2 years ago. My son is an adult and has a great deal on his plate, though we do talk most days, and at length. I cannot share my problems with him, that wouldn't be the right thing to do, but he shares his concerns with me and I appreciate our comfortable relationship. Once I found this site I thought it could help but it's not quite enough.

[SirGrits]

Hey Eyolf, I get a sense that you've lost some of your resilience. How much CBT did you learn from your therapy's? You seem to be able to identify the right choices to help relieve your symptoms and then just as quickly identify the obstacle(s). There are things that covid rules cannot take away from us. I encourage you to keep grinding and finding those small spaces that our govt still let's us exercise some autonomy. Walks work for me.Maybe some marriage counseling too so perhaps that aspect of things can turn from a liability to a source of comfort.

Prayers friend.