Just venting

[Miri407]

Hello everyone, I am 51 yrs old and what started having anxiety and depression when my mom passed away in 2015 and it has been very hard ever since. I am in therapy and meds but I still can’t get it under control, I exercise and have my own small business for distraction and I still have my episodes. Would love to hear what mechanism you use or do for anxiety. I have day where I don’t even want to get out of bed and people just bother me. 😔

[kenster1]

hi sorry for your loss and your struggles since my way of coping was visiting the graves of loved ones that was my go to place when I needed it and it brought me peace.even if regular visits aren`t possible could you make a little memory box and even a little memorial garden.

[Miri407 in reply to kenster1]

That’s a good idea, thank you

[Hidden]

Sorry to hear about your mom. Great you have a lot going for yourself.

Existential therapy you could learn about. The theory. Could help you understand yourself more. Anxiety is a natural part of life. However if we don’t allow it or try to control it, it gets unmanageable.

What a great daughter you are. Your mom would be proud of you working through life on your own. And well. I presume she wants you to be happy.

You can always talk to her by imagining her. Saying all the wonderful things you wnat to say or the things you have to say that you didn’t say. You can write letters to her. I know you think hello she is not here but you have her dna. You have part of her.

People annoy me too. I even annoy me too , sometimes

[Miri407 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words, and I will look in to existential therapy 🙂

[Hidden in reply to Miri407]

I’m not religious but I believe in god, a creator, past ancestors that have suffered for our generations an on ward to have a better life than them , and/or angles.

Youre a mom. That’s great. You now get to continue to be an awesome mom. Do mom stuff. That sounds like fun. You then, will be gramma. Ahhaha. Too soon !

Your mom left a legacy. You. And so on

[Miri407 in reply to Hidden]

Hahaha, my kids are older we do things together, but anxiety is always present. I take meds otherwise Wold be worse

[Hidden in reply to Miri407]

You got this. And I listen to my anxiety.

Hello anxiety what do you wnat now?? What is your problem nOw ? Hahaha

[Miri407 in reply to Hidden]

Awesome, good idea

[EuroJoy]

So sorry to hear about your mom. It is hard hard hard to lose a parent. I find peace when I pray and put everything in God's hands. It is a peace that I cannot explain. It calms me down. I pray and read the Bible.

[Miri407 in reply to EuroJoy]

Yes, I do pray also. That does help

[lillyofthevalley37]

Hi Mir407, your age suggests to me that hormones might be playing a part in your anxiety ? Are you on hrt ?

[Miri407 in reply to lillyofthevalley37]

Hi, no meds I just went for lab work and all levels are normal 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Hidden in reply to Miri407]

My acupuncture told me women need 20 minutes of body movement daily. This keeps hormones happy in the brain.

[Miri407 in reply to Hidden]

Yesss, I exercise and walk a lot

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing. I can totally relate to your struggles. I am also 51. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years. Medication helps some with the chemical imbalance. Therapy helps to try to get to the root of the problem. Losing a mom is definitely a trigger. However, you might also want to look into when you spiral and how often. Keeping a journal really helps me. I have started Peri-menopause and have learned the spikes in my hormones also affect my depression and anxiety.

I have a few things that help me when I think I am going to spiral. One to remind myself this is temporary, I am not causing it, and it will pass. Two give my self a break by not being hard on myself and knowing that I will feel better.

Then I do these two techniques to encourage myself.

The 557 breathing technique is take 5 deep breaths in while thinking good thoughts about yourself like I matter, I am special, I am strong and then hold the breaths for the count of 7 focusing on those words about yourself, then let out the breath slowly for 5 seconds letting go of any anxious, self-defeating, unhealthy thoughts. I do this one to three times a sitting. The gratitude journal is writing down something good every morning and night something that went well in the day, or something I appreciate about myself. Taking our focus off of the anxiety and depression and focusing on positive uplifting things really helps. What you think is what you believe. So thinking uplifting things you believe those things but the reverse is true - thinking negative self-defeating things, you will believe those. I will be praying for you. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat. Hugs and God Bless

[Miri407 in reply to lovetodance2018]

Love all what you have said, I haven’t practiced the 557, will do from now on. Thank you for your advice

[lovetodance2018 in reply to Miri407]

Ho w are you doing? I have been praying for you. Hugs

[Miri407 in reply to lovetodance2018]

Doing better thank you for asking, I have my ups and down but definitely better 😃

[Hidden]

Maybe some weed and a musical or artistic expressive outlet. Need a mental reset to ditch the worries for a few hours when things are overflowing.

I like drums.

You can’t play drums unless you let all the other shit go.

Take care have a blessed day.

[Miri407 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the advise