Work and crushing sadness

[Hope2come]

I do a job that’s important and rewarding but recently my entire day at work I just want to curl up and cry. I’m exhausted tired and miserable the fluoxetine isn’t working. I just feel so dead inside I am still struggling with suicidal thoughts but all the doctors do is give me more fluoxetine or change my meds. I’m starting to wonder how much longer I can do this. I feel guilty that I’m not happy at work but I’m just too exhausted.

[Jeff1943]

Hope2come, sorry to hear of your difficulties, I think you are experiencing nervous exhaustion from the sound of it. You've spent too long worrying and fighting your feelings (as well as do a demanding job) so it's not surprising.

We can all put up with a certain amount of worry and anxiety but if they reach a certain level our nervous system decides it's had enough and can become highly sensitised. In this state our nerves tend to make us over react to problems and bad feelings which just makes things worse.

Fighting, for example, causes more stress and strain adding to the burden of anxiety.

Recovery depends on giving our nervous system a rest (rather than continuing to batter it with exaggerated worries and bad thoughts). Based on my own past experience in a similar situation here is what I would tell you.

1. Identify what it is that has led you to such high levels of anxiety and deal with it. Be ruthless and prepared to make great changes in your life. You owe it to yourself to regain your peace of mind.

2. Stop fighting the bad thoughts and feelings and other symptoms, as explained this only leads to more stress and solves nothing. Instead learn to accept the bad feelings for the time being, agree to co-exist with them for the moment without fighting. The Acceptance method is explained in Claire Weekes' first book 'Self help for your nerves' available new or used on Ebay or Amazon for a few quid.

3. Get at least 8 hours sleep every night, preferably 9, have a warm milky (chocolate?) drink before turning in to help you sleep.

4. Don't give up your job (unless that's the cause of your anxiety) as occupation is good for those of us with high anxiety: otherwise we just sit around obsessing and stressing even more. Work is a healthy diversion.

5. Practice breathing exercises to calm yourself when necessary. Breathe in slowly through your nose, hold it a few seconds, then breathe out slowly through pursed lips and repeat and repeat. This releases natural tranquillising hormones that are helpful.

6. The most important of these is point 2, namely to practice Acceptance as a path to respite and recovery. However, if you feel that you are going to seriously self harm go immediately to the A&E of any local hospital and they will give you the help you need.

You can recover. You will recover. No matter how deep or long your suffering and I sincerely hope the day is not far off when you feel the dark veil lifting.

[Hope2come in reply to Jeff1943]

I appreciate your reply but I genuinely can’t see the influx of covid patients disappearing soon. But I will look at this book. I don’t really have time to feel at the moment the patients come first

[b1b1b1 in reply to Hope2come]

If you work in a hospital with covid patients, it is understandable that you are exhausted and miserable. The stress, fear and sadness from dealing with this situation on a daily basis must be nearly unbearable. The only thing I can suggest is taking a one or two week vacation and lying on a beach somewhere to give yourself a physical and mental break.