I’m at the skate park and I’m suicidal. I knew I had to get out of the house. I have a plan. I hate myself. I hate that I feel suicidal it puts so much guilt and hate in me. I’ve been fine then ... poof ... back in a different kind of hell. I won’t act on it I love my kids too much but so much of me has to resist. It’s a strong feeling that I can’t be here any more. I want away from everything. I feel nothing I do makes any difference and I try so hard but doesn’t seem to matter now.I don’t want to wake up again. And so another day. I need to be shown love in a big way. I actually bought myself some sunflowers today I needed to feel loved. I’m watching my kids right now tears streaming down . I know we love eachother with such a tight bond but part of me is thinking everything is better without me. When I suffer I become a burden. Please help me.
Good morning. Yes, I care I deal with both depression and PTSD. I've been where you have been many times. If it hadn't been for caring others to help me through those ties, we wouldn't be chatting with each other now. You're welcome 😊 Be safe.
Starrlight you're a beautiful person. Please don't give up. If you really think you might carry out a plan to suicide, check yourself into a psychiatric ward. I know no one ever wants to be there but if it saves your life then it's worth it . You mean a lot to me, you have been great and very encouraging to me when I've gone through some dark times. Please take care of yourself and know that we all love you on here.💖💖💖💖💖
Your first sentence grabbed me. Last time I ran out of my house crying from my obnoxious husband I ended up at a skate park watching skaters. They were young, and it made me feel old. I wondered if they were awkward teenagers. Would they be an awkward adult like me? I’m here for you anytime. Your words and pictures are so important to all of us here. You have such creative gifts. Stay with us on our journey.
I was where you are now, twenty years ago. Treatment of my bipolar with a mood stabiliser and antidepressant saved my life. I’m never sad, occasionally a little too happy! The longer we bipolars leave it to get the right treatment, the harder it can be to treat the relapses.You owe it to your children to let them grow up with their mum happy, smiling and energetic. My advice is to stay on the treatment that suits you, permanently. Hypomania is fun until it isn’t...
I’m glad u r ok now. I was doing so well I don’t know what went wrong. I’m on the meds that work for me. Maybe just had a lot bottled up. I feel better today. It was just one day I hope. Oh believe me I’m a great mom and my children are very happy!
Sometimes there’s simply nothing at all to do. Like now. All of a sudden I changed. I have to ride a strange thing out that I don’t understand. Im scared.I feel like there’s another different person inside me. That other person is not scared but is not nice either. It’s like a nightmare.
A writing a poem whatever it just helps me express what I’m feeling and releases a bit of the pain. It helps me sharing it so it’s not just me all alone thinking it.
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