What's wrong with me? So much good, but I feel horrible!

[ML1215]

Does anyone just feel disjointed or disconnected to everything around you? Goes beyond lonely. I just feel like I don't belong, but I know that I do. I know that I have people around me who care, who love me, like me, etc. etc., but I feel so alone most of the time. I'm new here. Apparently I already had a profile, so I'm not that new...haha. I am sober 10 months, and just recently removed myself from a relationship that was unhealthy and going nowhere. I felt the way I'm feeling before the break up, however. I have so much to live for and so much to do, and could be doing, but I just want to go back to bed. Any advice?

[finefrenzy127]

Congrats on 10 months sober! Please know you are not alone in the way you feel. I am going thru the same thing. My family does not understand why I am so depressed, they think I should just get over my break up and look at all the positives in my life. Wish it was that easy! I feel like the black sheep of the family, the only one who suffers from depression & anxiety - makes me not want to be around them. The only advice I can give you is keep coming to this site, hearing other people dealing with the same things make me know I am not the only one struggling. I hope you get some great advice and keep up the great work with your sobriety, I have 6 years in May

[ML1215 in reply to finefrenzy127]

Thank you. It isn’t the break up, that contributed to my feelings. I guess I thought with him out of my life, things would feel better. Still depressed though. I don’t share with others, so at least I’m not getting the “you have a great life” comments. I hide things pretty well.

[ML1215 in reply to finefrenzy127]

Thank you! Congrats on your sobriety too! I will keep coming back.

[puzzlemaster44]

Hi ML, congratulations on your sobriety and for removing yourself from a relationship that wasn't working for you. Those are positive changes happening in your life!

Regarding your comment of feeling disconnected, I think I understand what you mean. I have had situations recently of good things happening to me or someone in my household and I verbally express the appropriate sentiment, but inside I feel disconnected. Often I swap between feeling no emotion to what's happening around me with my family, to just being ticked off or stressed at the littlest things. I am starting therapy and been at it a few weeks. I'm not sure yet if it's really helping but trying to get these issues under control the best I can. As a supplement, I joined this site today to try to find a "tribe" of people that might understand or be experiencing similar situations.

I hope you find this helpful in that you are not the only one that experiences the feeling of being disconnected! Thank you for posting and sharing your story.

[ML1215 in reply to puzzlemaster44]

Thank you Puzzlemaster. I even feel it at work when I’m among my staff. I try to lead them the way I always have other staffs, but no results. This is not all my fault, as they are a known difficult group to manage. All the positive things going on in my life feel meaningless with this negative. Sometimes it takes over my mind...like now when I’m not even there. Too much of my time away from work is spent thinking about work.

[Jay2O]

It does sound like you are experiencing depression and the numbing feeling that can come along with this. Almost as if you are disconnected as you say. In truth it acts as a kind of protection to keep us safe. Often also to slow us down when things may have been moving too fast and we come to feeling burnt out. Well done for breaking away from an unhealthy relationship. It can take courage to do that. Well done also for breaking free from the alcohol. May be that you have just lost your way right now. Finding your passion in life should help reconnect you. Is there something you always dreamed of doing? Think about that. A new career? Business venture...volunteer for some organization....etc...etc... Rest when you feel the need. x