Anyone ever been afraid of going on antidepressants for depression because of stigma from family?
Anyone ever had to go on this healing journey alone? (Besides God of course) Im choosing to finally help myself get back to who I need to be. But I have no support. My spouse and his mother scoff at people who take medication in their family all the time. I wish i had support but i am slighlty okay with it because I rather do it alone and in peace rather than be talked about and judged by people who are simply uneducated. Wondering if anyone has gone through something similar.
Peace & Blessings to anyone reading this. xoxo
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lovegrace11
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Yes I have been on and off antidepressants since I was 16 I'm now 50 . My parents where I shouldn't take them until they became indeed of them . friends turned their back . Even now years later some people still are very judge mental about antidepressants. I say who cares if I need them then I'll take then . I'm not on them right now feel like I should be but I'm scared for other reasons .
Its more so not telling my husband because his mom is always in our business and judgmental of others in our family who is on medication. We married 6 years ago at 19, we have two small babies & still have alot of growing to do. My doctor prescribed me effexor 37.5. I decided to be at peace and go through this without their judgment i feel after ill ive endured these past years from him and his mother, i owe that to myself and my babies. its MY life. He has told me before not too, but hasnt been helpful to my mental health, more so harmful at times. I blame mysef because truthfully I should have seeked help 4 years ago when it started. One day Ill share it with him. Is it noticeable when one is on medication?
Oh I see. Please don't blame yourself as you have nothing to feel guilty for. Your husband should be supporting you and be on your side. You and the children have first call on his love and support now, not his mother. You sound like you have grown up but he clearly still hasn't.
Take your meds and if anyone sees them or says anything tell them to mind their own business and it isn't a topic for conversation. Make some boundaries.
The only changes in you will be that you are happier, more relaxed, and calmer. Your 'husband' will probably be pleased!
Their scoffing is just a lack of empathy and as such I wouldn't be so proud of myself in their shoes...
Anyways I am sad to hear you're a bit isolated in this. It is true you don't need anyone to judge your choices, however the unconditional support of someone who is happy to just open up about things in a honest and genuine way is always invaluable. (also speaking from my own isolation!)
I'd suggest you at least have someone you can confide in through this journey because depending on the medication and how much you take, there might be side effects you don't notice but that others around you will. Some medications even produce such a numb state that people don't even recognise the bad things they say/do.
I trust your family will flag things, but make sure they respect your choice and behave appropriately with you and your needs in mind. Otherwise I'd seriously sit them down and have a clear talk about why they feel they have to trample the needs of others (most likely becuz their own weren't met by others in the past btw!)
It's never too late to educate ourselves and others, good luck!
Thank you so much for the response. I have a history of being emotional then impulsive and opening up to the first person who shows they “care”. and telling my personal business when maybe I should have thought about it more. Ive learned by growing up, im 24. That Not everyone is genuine. And I sometimes I dont have to share everything with everybody. I prayed on this and I know eventually I will share this with someone. maybe just my therapist but I definitely want to take my time with deciding that. my husband and i marred at 19 & 23. im going to be 25 and he is going to be 29. we still have alot of growing to do. I am bi-racial, and In the african american community as im sure many others Ive seen that there is a huge stigma on mental health. ive seen my mother in law gossip to him and i about others in the family on medication. Simply because they are uneducated. meanwhile she is diabetic and on medication for that and her liver. Kinda hypocritical, seeing the brain is an organ itself. but after all ive endured from her ive learned to love with boudaries and she doesn’t deserve that level of connection with me anymore. simply because she is not genuine and nice all the time. I dont like ppl who judge others. my husand was raised by her and i know in time he will learn better as he grows. I am prescribed effexor 37.5. Ive decided im gonna do this. i want to be better for myself, my babies and my husband even if i choose not to include him on this journey. simply because he is too immature at this moment. I dont want to include my mom because she has so much going on and again the stigma. Hopefully my side effects wont be extrem but benefit me in a good way. Im hopeful.
I've also had that problem in the past, oversharing is a little tricky. But as you said it is down to the fact that you have to find the right people to talk to, then oversharing won't be a thing anymore, because you know you can confide in them. The fact you are open to others sadly doesn't mean they are to you (or trustworthy for that matter!) If you can do therapy I'd definitely recommend it, it'll help you massively both with your own confidence and navigating all the layers of your life (past, present and future).
"ive learned to love with boudaries" amen to that! I mean there's hardly any other way sometimes. Bad behaviours are mostly learnt behaviours, but in this day and age we're all a little too tired of that kinda BS. Your frustration is justified... and eventually you'll have to break through to them and I am confident you can help that process by planting little seeds here and there while talking to them. You can't change them overnight but you can make them realize that criticising others isn't doing any good to them or anybody else.
My mother has a similar behaviour with many things and trust me, after so many years of having to listen to toxic rhetoric, I've had to distance myself from her and actually had to ask her to go see a therapist before I walk away once and for all. It sounds extreme, but I'm nearly 34 and with time passing you realize the damage done to your own brain, self esteem, mental health etc... by people like that. We think we can take on anything in life, but we can't, our sanity comes first after all!
Are you close to your husband? Like emotionally? Do you typically rely on each other more than you would do other people in the family? You both have a long journey ahead together but you'll be able to positively influence each other
I am sorry you have to face this journey alone, but we are here to support you and lift you up in any way we can. You sound like a very strong woman, and a wonderful mother. I suffered with PPD after the birth of my children and I can relate to what you are feeling. Somehow we worry too much about what others think, (worse with the anxiety and depression)when really we need to do what is best for us. It is is courageous step to take and I commend you that you are taking the steps you need to in order to heal yourself. You got this, I pray that you are able to find a support system even if it is just a good doctor or counselor. And I pray that the medication helps balance everything.
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