Day by Day

[KinokoNekoKun]

Sometimes I enjoy living and sometimes I wish to never wake up again. Others view me as positive, happy, energetic, always smiling, and never in a bad mood. Little do they know I cry when I wake up, sometimes before bed, and maybe on my lunch break at work. I can sleep for 10 hours straight or other days not be able to get any sleep at all. I try to remind myself to live in the moment but, I am always thinking/dwelling on the past. I've had a hard life so it is not easy to just uninstall memories you don't want to think about anymore. I guess, I am just trying to find ways to cope with how I feel and meet others who feel the same way I do.

[Hb2003]

Sometimes i think about the past it’s sometimes hard to let go but it can harm us if we keep in thinking about it . I know how hard it is i am so sorry that your feeling this way much kindness and support 🫂❤️

[KinokoNekoKun in reply to Hb2003]

I appreciate your kind words so much. I have to find other things to think about or to do when I have those moments. But, yes it is so very hard to.

[Hb2003 in reply to KinokoNekoKun]

Thank you 🙏 it is really hard sometimes i need to train my brain to stop those thoughts

[Yass_123]

By ur post I think you are doing very well in keeping positive yes its difficult and thoughts will come and go but if we always remember bad things we will not enjoy the good things future has to give us I too have suffered in past and somethings are still happening but cannot give up everyday we get up is a blessing do things whilst we can enjoy a hobby help someone in need be strong take care

[KinokoNekoKun in reply to Yass_123]

Thank you for your words. Sometimes it's like when things are going good something awful tends too happen which then brings up all the bad feelings and memories that could be related to that. It's like in that moment how do you just not think about it? Or just not feel terrible? I know its probably going to take a lot of training to not think that way but, it feels impossible sometimes. Especially if things are still going wrong sometimes.

[Yass_123 in reply to KinokoNekoKun]

Yes I too have same feelings i think its probably because of i have lack of faith we try to take the problems of the world on ourselves i try to accept that some things cannot be stopped or changed but live every day as a blessing i hope God willing that you have many more happy events in your life

[KinokoNekoKun in reply to Yass_123]

I appreciate that so much. I agree, we all need someone to believe in and to throw all of our burdens on. Definitely, having faith I feel helps 100%. I am still working on believing myself and keeping faith when times are tough. It is hard but I am thankful I found a group to lean on.

[Yass_123 in reply to KinokoNekoKun]

Thanks don't worry we all have worry and fear in us u will make it have faith in uself God will always be there and u can always post on here if u feel down I cry many times emotions up and down but things will work out as long as you don't give up take care

[Hidden]

This is too much for you. You need people you can rely on emotionally this is normal. I love that you are a happy person and usually people love that in people but I can see that when u are alone, u cry. Have you tried seeing a therapist? U need to get all that staff out. Yes it is not easy but it will help unload. No one deserves to be alone. We are here for you as well.

[KinokoNekoKun in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply. It was very kind. I am currently seeking out professional help and have had a few sessions so far. They kind of make me feel better for a little bit and I really do try applying what they tell me but depending on how I am feeling in that moment, it is so hard for me to control my emotions. It is like I have all the tools and know what I should do but my brain is unable to make that happen and I end up going overboard. I want to be truly happy but it always feels easier to just give up.

[Hidden in reply to KinokoNekoKun]

Don't give up, you can take it one step at a time. U deserve to be happy as well. It usually takes time for the brain to capture staff. Don't rush staff u will be fine but I am happy you are able to control your emotions in public.

[Itzallgood1]

I have had to use humor to hide my depression or anxiety so people don't see my "dark" side. When I am feeling down I joke around or just want to be alone so nobody feels sorry for me. I don't want to be the center of attention for the wrong reason. I know it's been hard but I push thru until i feel better which usually isn't very long. But I make do. I have somebody on here that has helped quite a bit and I am thankful for her.

[KinokoNekoKun in reply to Itzallgood1]

Humor is definitely a good way to hide anything. You have to laugh to keep from crying. Today is hard for me so, ill try keeping that in mind.

[Itzallgood1 in reply to KinokoNekoKun]

I hope your day turns around for you. Still on the bummer side a bit yet. Tho I use humor it feels like I am wearing a smiley face mask (not the covid one) and deceiving alot of people. Hate doing that but I don't want to drag anyone down with me.

I sincerely hope your day gets better and you can wear your real smiles today.😃

[KinokoNekoKun in reply to Itzallgood1]

Lol "not the covid one" xD That was actually pretty good! Well, would you look at that. The corners of my lips already lifting! Thank you for your kind words and already starting the process of brightening my day.

[Itzallgood1 in reply to KinokoNekoKun]

Everyone needs a good laugh/smile once in awhile. ❤