I want to learn how to communicate with my wife

[Cedrick1320]

My wife has anxiety and lately I can't seem to communicate with her without saying the wrong thing and I ended hurting her more than helping. I feel so bad but nothing like she does. I know she blames herself for some of it. I just want want to be able to talk to her.

[Starrlight]

You trying and wanting to be there and help her is awesome it in itself is an action of love right there. ❤️

[Cedrick1320 in reply to Starrlight]

Starrlight thank you for the encouragement and yes she is the love of my life. She has been struggling for along time on her own and she wanted me to see the signs and I didn't until it was too late. She was hurt by someone else and now feels she deserved to be treated that way. But no human being i don't care what they did oh how they are feeling should ever be abused. I feel that I let her down and im determined not to do that ever again

[Cedrick1320]

Thank you wounded_soldier I like to cook so I will keep that in mind she has been trying to eat healthier so I can look for some recipes that will go along with that. But im far from an artist.

[Cedrick1320]

Right now I just want to learn as much as I can and not hurt her anymore I want her to feel safe with me. I know she does but it the same as it use to be and I understand that it won't ever again

[SirGrits]

Hey Cedrick, have you heard about "Love Languages"? Knowing your wife's love language probably won't help overmuch with her anxiety, but "speaking" her love language will absolutely help her feel your love in a deeper way. I think the book is titled "The 5 Love Languages", a google search will get you there pretty quick. From experience, when my wife (or anyone actually) speaks "my language" which is "words of encouragement" I light up like a Christmas tree. And when I do chores with or for my wife, she really lightens up--her language is "acts of service". Pretty cool and well researched stuff, I encourage you to check it out.

[Cedrick1320 in reply to SirGrits]

Thank you for that i will indeed read the book.

[catch_the_music]

I think anxious people need our reassurance - let them know that you are there for them and they can depend on you. Let her know how lucky you are to have her as your wife. Read Psalm 23 to your wife and you can use that Psalm to pray with her. Also in the Bible, Philippians 4:6-7 says - "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God". Praying to God is a huge way to help reduce anxiety. Praise music (like KLOVE radio) is great too. Classical music is stress reducing. Find a favorite happy song and sing or read the lyrics to her. Sometimes just rubbing your wife's shoulder or giving her a gentle hug is best without having to say anything. Spend time outside admiring the scenery. Talk with a counselor if medication or professional help is needed.

Good luck! God Bless!