How do I learn from my mistakes?

[Macen]

I get so apathetic. So uncaring. So unable to fight the path of least resistance.

I just hide. I stay inside. I watch tv of do anything to distract me from the pain. I relapse, over and over again.

Then when I finally get myself out of the house, I'm anxious as hell. Everything irritates me. My mood swings rapidly.

I get so angry at myself, I'm just never good enough. I always do the stupid thing. I'm such a pitiable fool.

I put my hands around my neck and squeeze so hard my vision goes blurry to black and my body starts to shake.

I want to be good. I really do. Please help me stand back up on my feet and try again. But not just try but really learn from my mistakes.

[Starry]

Perhaps the first thing to focus on is giving yourself a break and start being kind to yourself . Tell the negative critical voice in your ear to stop bullying you. Every human makes mistakes and has regrets, its fine, utterly normal and unavoidable unless your a deity. You are where you are now, you can't change the past and it's where you head next that matters most and that is in your hands. Xxx

[JtimmyT]

Hi there,

First of all, everybody's different, and in their ways of handling anxiety depression and regrets, especially past regrets that keep eating you inside can be different.

I done a lot of things, that if I look back at it now would makd me swear out loud and just love to kick myself in the head, fortunately for my head, my feet can't reach it.

We all do things we are not proud of, even celebrities, politicians, and in this life we are going to make lots of good and bad things.

Have you spoken or told anyone about your past mistakes? Maybe you'd like to open it all up on here? Or maybe there is someone like a therapist you can open up to in confidence? Help you deal with relapse etc.

Upon Starry's advice, I'd like if you just look back for a moment, then forgive yourself, would you forgive someone else for the similar past mistakes you done?

You can't change the past, the past doesn't define you, focus on the present and what you can do to make things better, in order to learn and grow we need to make mistakes even if they hurt or embarrass us.

[Windy101]

Are you in treatment of any kind? Counseling, medication, a support group - those things can make such a difference.

I'm so sorry you're sufferering. You're having symptoms, but those symptoms are not your fault and they are not who you are. They're part of an illness that you did not choose.

I hope you'll reach out to a hotline or an ER if you keep feeling as bad you do right now.

[Sprinkle1]

Hello I agree with Windy101, it sounds to me like you may be Bi-polar, I would be seeking help from a Psychiatrist, I am Bi-polar 11, it plagued me for years, until a Psychiatrist diagnosed me, it put a stop to the mood swings and helped ground me out. I also need an antidepressant. So please stop punishing yourself for your faulty brain. Our brains get out of whack and can really make us confused. Be good to yourself, no need to suffer, get the help you Need. And be sure to write to us, we will do our best to support you and encourage you. I send you Peace, Love and healing. Sprinkle 1 xxx

[gogogirl]

Well, I am old and have made some doozies too. We are all human. Treat yourself kindly- I tell myself that as well.