ER visit

[looking4freedom]

Hi all, new here! Last night I finally grew enough courage to tell my verbally and mentally abusive husband I want a divorce. The enraged younger lashing I got sent me to the ER with the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had! My blood pressure was so high they couldn’t get a reading and my rate was 161 when they gave me an Ativan. I feel so helpless. Anxiety has taken complete control of me!

[JW621]

That’s great. But be strategic with that hostile environment.

[looking4freedom in reply to JW621]

I was warned to make my plan in secret

[JW621 in reply to looking4freedom]

Be careful. Have you guys tried couple therapy

[looking4freedom in reply to JW621]

No he refuses!

[JW621 in reply to looking4freedom]

So if it’s a toxic environment you must leave it he must.

[Mother-of2]

I’m sorry about the ER and anxiety attack but I’m happy you were able to stand up for yourself with your husband

[looking4freedom in reply to Mother-of2]

Thanks! It felt good for a moment, of course the onslaught today has been terrible!

[Relly26 in reply to Mother-of2]

Are you just saying that because your single ?

[Lenorabell]

I’m sure it’s going to be so horrible going through the storm you’re in right now but how courageous of you to stand up to him!! You deserve so much better. Nobody should ever be made to feel like they are worthless or deserve a beating. I’m so glad you told him. I’m sure after the many nights you’ve struggled in your relationship had built up into a big emotional ball and then your mind just exploded after all the emotions of telling him you’re wanting a divorce came flowing out of you. No wonder you had an anxiety attack, I know I would have definitely had one! Now you have opened that chapter you can find it a little easier to reach out for more help. Talk with your doctor about maybe getting help from local resources that can help you get out of your violent situation. I wish you all the best for 2021 🙇🏻‍♀️

[looking4freedom in reply to Lenorabell]

Thanks hun!

[hlacovara]

The reaction you had is very understandable. Congrats on making a move to better your life. It will be hard but you can do it. Do you have a doctor (psych) that you can reach out to and start therapy? Talking it out with someone who isn't connected to you personally will give you an objective point of view. It will help you get through this time so you don't end up frequenting the e.r. ... Best of luck 🤗

[looking4freedom in reply to hlacovara]

I am an established patient with both a psychiatrist and a therapist. I’ve reached out to both.

[hlacovara in reply to looking4freedom]

Hope you soon find relief 🤗

[Sanders28]

My ex husband made my anxiety so bad i was nearly not here i left him and divorced him and waslike a massive relief off my shoulders get out of there phone your local council see if can put you in emergancy accommodation explain your situation or better still kick him out

[looking4freedom in reply to Sanders28]

Oh I’ve tried kicking him out, he refuses to leave. I spoke to my landlord yesterday about getting him evicted. Landlord said yes he can do that!

[Beautifullymade]

Do you have a therapist to help you get through this? I was in an abusive relationship for 8 years. He was physically and verbally abusive. I feel like the emotional, mental, and verbal abuse did more long term damage to me than the physical abuse. Once I left him, I was safe and thought I was fine. I didn't realize how much I was affected until two years ago. I have been living with anxiety and depression all these years. I started seeing a therapist three years ago and eventually figured out the root of my emotional issues. Insecurity and low self-esteem are linked to depression and anxiety. If you look it up online, there's a wealth of information. I wish I had gotten a therapist years ago after I left my abuser. I'm finally learning how to be happy and managing my anxiety and depression. I feel like my therapist saved my life. Sending hugs to you for what you're going through, it's so hard.

[JW621 in reply to Beautifullymade]

Those were said perfectly. I hope she takes it into heart

[Bheara]

Dear looking4fredoom: First of all you have to truly recognize the courage that it took to tell your abusive husband you wanted a divorce. That action alone takes unbelievable courage. Your body reacted the same way it would if encountering a dangerous animal, so everything kicked in and you went into a high state of anxiety. The body actually probably started reacting before the actual event, as you were mentally preparing for it in your head. Just know you have the courage to head in the direction you want for your life. No one and I do mean NO ONE should stay in an abusive relationship. "Always do what you are afraid to do." Ralph Waldo Emerson.

[Sunandrose87]

Wow I understand the reason for the anxiety attack but congratulations you had a ton of courage and self esteem

[Hidden]

Hang in there; it will get better. I had to also deal with that kind of abuse in the Army.

[Relly26]

I think it’s because you love your husband or want some company now that you had a divorce. Maybe you should invite your friends over. What made you choose the man you chose or did he start being mentally and verbally abusive?

[looking4freedom in reply to Relly26]

It’s just been the past 6-7 years he’s been this way. He was never controlling or abusing in the beginning.

[Relly26 in reply to looking4freedom]

Oh

[twentythreeme]

proud of you for making that first step. if anything, ground yourself in the knowledge that YOU had the strength to do that. it always starts with one step

[charliegirl2016]

Have things changed since you made your first post? Were you seeing the psychiatrist or therapist before you told him you wanted a divorce?