Don't know how to feel better anymore

[Lycholko]

I was doing good for a few weeks, but then my mind forgot how to cope for some reason. I used to know what to do when I would feel depressed and/or anxious, but now, I feel like I am just running around in the dark. I don't know what's best for me right now. I don't know what is the "healthy" way to deal with depression anymore. For example, I don't know wether I should rest and not do anything that requires effort, or should I push myself to do that homework assignment. I feel like I shouldn't rest, that the answer is to always choose to be productive , even if it’s a small task, but I can't even do that. I’m lost. I’m scared. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I have lost all hopes of feeling happy again.

[Hidden]

I found the following group on the web. Its a non-profit organization of volunteers that will talk with anyone who calls. No judgement: The Samaritan 877-870-4673. Give them a try.

[Lycholko in reply to Hidden]

I will definitely try calling them! Thank you so much! I love learning about new hotlines and support services

[newmercies]

Hi Lycholko. Im sorry to hear you’re struggling. I’ve been feeling a similar way recently. I get frustrated with myself when I feel like Im not coping well. I want to remind you (and myself) that you are doing the best that you can. You are learning ways to cope, and there are ups and downs with that. You will keep learning and growing. I think learning how to manage emotions is a lifelong process. Be gentle and kind with yourself 😊

[13ga]

hi lydia!

sounds like you DO have at least SOME of the answers!!! trust in yourself!!!

yes - if you can force yourself to do homework - DO IT!!! do ANYTHING productive!

what treats your anxiety or depression one day - might need tweaking or even something different another day. always do the first 2 things in my list - the benefit may vary - but doing them consistently is important.

.

quick depression cheat sheet / review list:

- exercise - 1 of 2 TOP treatments for depression

- meditation - 2 of 2 TOP treatments

- positive self affirmations 1st thing in morn - in mirror - out loud (ie: i'm going to feel better day; i am feeling better today; i will feel even better tomorrow)

- avoid shameful thinking and use guilt or positive thinking (ie: replace "i am bad" with "sometimes i do bad things", etc)

- focus on positive thoughts - FIND a positive in all negative things (ie: it's rainy and dreary outside >> but we need the water; and now i don't have to water the garden! ... i got an F on my test >> but i know WHY i got the F, and i can fix that and do better next time)

- try to push negative thoughts out of your head - but do NOT beat up on yourself for having them!!!! (go away you negative thoughts; i forgive myself for slipping into a bad habit.) followup with a positive (i'm going to pet my pet, or do 10 pushups etc...)

...

lydia - i never want to hear you say "i can't do that". please say - "i'm having great difficulty doing that right now" !!!! because you dam well CAN do 'that' - but it might take a monumental effort - and it might take time - but you CAN and you WILL!!!!!!

[Barbie72 in reply to 13ga]

what a great reply for all of us when we get stuck! Thanks!

[13ga in reply to Barbie72]

TYVM, barbie - appreciated!

[Lycholko in reply to 13ga]

Sorry I didn't get a chance to respond sooner. This is one of the best replies I ever got. You gave me such great advice! Thank you so much for your very kind and empowering words! 😁

[13ga in reply to Lycholko]

lydia - no time clock on replies!

i couldn't be happier to hear that helped; TY for your kind words....

we're all doing the best we can - at any moment... your appreciation empowers me in return!

feel free to reach out - that's why we're here - to help one another.

[ZoeyMom]

I understand as I go through the same feelings but with exercise. I know I should but I don't feel like moving. I just feel like crying. I get it. You're not alone. I care about you and I don't even know you. Hold on.

[Hidden]

I just think this time of year plays into a lot of it. January is always a rough month. I just want to sleep a lot. And everything going on in politics now is pretty bad. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a very real thing. And of course there's the pandemic. Makes me just feel like zoning out, like I'll do something when March comes.😝

[dmt1121]

I think what you're feeling makes sense, especially now. We should not discount how the news intertwines with our lives. Sure, the homework is important but it can be hard to see where it fits or to run around and scream, but they both are part of life.

There is a balance we should strive to achieve. You may be bored, sad, mad, confused and scared but there is always a hand to reach for. You reached out here to people who care and now you need to see if there isn't someone closer, a family member or friend, a counselor or a hotline.

This world can make us feel depressed, anxious and crazy but until we learn the skills to self sooth and love ourselves, we cannot choose a direction. Direction provides a framework for our lives. It may change, curve, angle to the right or left or be a straight line but as long as we are moving forward one step at a time, we are doing well.

Keep moving forward and reach out to those who might provide you with the skills to be happier everyday!

[Gentlespirit]

Hi. Its not easy to know what to do and I care and support you. I understand where your coming from and we are here to help each other. I think if you need to call and talk to someone its good because it dealing with depression and anxiety can be overwhelming . Knowing what to do and actually doing it is the hardest part because theres so much to deal with and our emotions we have to deal with too and not knowing or kind of knowing can be confusing and scary and throw us off track too. My heart is with you as you go through your journey . Maybe a therapist or hotline or warm helpline would help. Please be kind patient and compassionate with yourself.

[lovetodance2018]

Thank you for reaching out and sharing. I am sorry you are struggling. It is so hard to remember what works for us when we are in the midst of a depressive episode. I know for me is remind myself this is temporary and I will feel better. Then like you mentioned I do baby steps, if things overwhelm me then I stop.

Do you have a counselor you work with? Are you on medication? What do you think triggered you?

For me my depression is chemical and medication helps some, however, the last few times I started to feel the depression happening, I say to myself, I don't have to spiral, I will be ok, I will control my thoughts. Then as those negative thoughts would start coming, I would say no to them and try to immediately replace it with a positive one. I know this is easier said than done, but the more you try it, the more you begin to feel that way.

Also, I know you have heard, be in the moment, that has been a real big step for me to not worry and be concerned about more than the moment I am in and trying to find something to enjoy and appreciate in that moment. As I find things to appreciate I feel better.

Try journaling, getting things out of our minds and onto paper is a way to release the concerns. It is your journal so you can approach it anyway you feel comfortable. Mine started as writing down my thoughts, then slowly became prayers, and now I have a gratitude journal where I write things down that I am grateful for. I will be praying for you. We are here for you. If you ever want to chat feel free to pm me. Hugs and God Bless

[Lycholko in reply to lovetodance2018]

Thank you so much for the helpful response! I do see a therapist every Wednesday and I am not on medication. What causes my depression is my family. My family is very manipulative towards each other and it has caused many depressive episodes, panic attacks, and periods of tension between us. My mom especially tries to guilt trip, for example, “sorry for caring,” and other “famous lines.” Many people have told me to start journaling, but I haven't really made it a priority. I am going to start keeping a journal as of today!

[lovetodance2018 in reply to Lycholko]

I am so glad you are planning to start a journal. I have learned it is our choice to believe what others say or to know they are lies. It is hard to be strong when families words and actions are so negative. You have to find ways to believe in yourself and not wait for others around to lift you up, because that may never happen. With the help of a healthy life coach, I have learned to become aware of myself and tell myself daily, that I matter and I am special. For most of my life, I have compared myself with others and never thought I could measure up. I learned God made each person is unique and special and no two people are the same. That helped my mindset and what I believed about myself. I will continue to be praying for you and if you ever want to chat feel free to pm me. Hugs